In between the news of his son changing jails, his ex-wife dating a 19 year old friend of her two children, receiving threatening calls from John Graziano's family - the family of Nick Hogan's friend who is now a vegetable as a result of a car accident - and Hulk Hogan's George Foreman ripoff of a grill blowing up in people's faces, CMT began filming 10 episodes of their newest reality show, Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Wrestling Challenge (yes, I just linked to four different Hogan stories... he had bad karma at the time).

It's part Surreal Life and part Tough Enough and has a quite stunning program description. The episodes for the show will air at some point this Fall, according to On Camera Audience:

Think about it for a minute. Seriously. How long have you waited to see 80’s music sensation Tiffany perform a pile driver on The Real World’s Trishelle? Up close. For free. This show is going to make all of your reality television dreams come true in what might be the most entertaining new reality show of the season!

I don't know if that was written with a laugh for the show's press release, but I'm definitely humored. The list of competitors is full of household names – in their own households, and maybe their own neighborhoods.

As of press time, we're seven episodes in and the only thing we know for sure is that Screech Powers knows a lot about the wrestling industry and Danny Bonaduce would like a piece of him.

Let us now review each competitor's strengths and weaknesses as determined by well, me.

– Todd Bridges (Different Strokes, Everybody Hates Chris)



Strengths: Right and left jab; defeated Vanilla Ice on episode of Celebrity Boxing in 2002. Massive dome more powerful than Bushwhacker Butch's cranium in the Bushwhackers' finishing move, the Bull Charge.
Weaknesses: Lacks agility; kicked off Skating with Celebrities after 2nd show.

– Butterbean (Boxer, Fighter)



Strengths: Beating the shit out of people.
Weaknesses: Lacks stamina. Has heavy breasts.

– Dustin Diamond (Saved by the Bell)



Strengths: Great mental acumen. Excels in strategy-based ground game and warfare.
Weaknesses: Failed countless high school physicals. History of never getting laid results in penchant for taking pinfalls under every circumstance.

– Erin Murphy (Tabitha from TV’s Bewitched)



Strengths: Has sister who resembled her so much that she also played the role of Tabitha early in the show's 9 year run for a short period of time; kind of like the Olsen twins sans the eating disorders and Scooby-Doo-slipper-wearing-pedophile-uncle living upstairs.
Weaknesses: I have no idea who she is and had to look up her info at Wikipedia. I'm only 25.

– Frank Stallone (Sylvester Stallone’s brother)



Strengths: Brother of Rambo
Weaknesses: Brother of Sgt. Joe Bomowski, protagonist from Stop or My Mom Will Shoot; constant punchline on SNL's Weekend Updates with Norm McDonald.

– Tiffany (80s pop star)



Strengths: She can change your heartbeat. Has industry connections to Cyndi Lauper and by default, Captain Lou Albano (who teamed w/ Lauper at WrestleMania I to help coach Wendy Richter in her match against the Fabulous Moolah), which could prove fruitful in her quest to winning it all.
Weaknesses: Lack of overall success means she'll probably suck overall. Seriously, it' s the 80s, you're a moderately attractive female rocker and you still suck. That sucks.

– Nikkie Ziering (former Playboy model)



Strengths: Stellar looks provide solid negotiating tactics. Also not afraid to do whatever it takes - was once tickled against her will by Howard Stern. Able to withstand poundings.
Weaknesses: Prone to having breasts popped.

– Trishelle (Real World)



Strengths: Tag team action.
Weaknesses: Stupid. Reports also suggest she has a weak immune system due to high STD count.

- Danny Bonaduce (Partridge Family, Crackhead)



Strengths: Not afraid to brawl - once assaulted a male transvestite; outboxed Donny Osmond and Robert Shaprio.
Weaknesses: Crackhead.

- Dennis Rodman (NBA)



Strengths: Jumping, especially off the top rope. Tag-teaming.
Weaknesses: Surplus of piercings leave body vulenerable to savage attacks.

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All told, the field looks to be in outstanding shape and I'm really at a loss to say who I'd put money on beyond one man. I'd say Butterbean outlasts Dustin Diamond in singles competition and the team of Dennis Rodman and Trishelle ascends the rungs of tag team ranks. Of course, I'll also be shocked if Dennis Rodman even shows up for the tapings at all.

For the record, trainer include these two men...





Good to see Brutus and Nasty Boy Knobbs land on their feet.