You know when you go to load up a cooler full of beer and inevitably in the bottom of the cooler there is a rusted out can of crappy beer that is roughly the temperature of human urine leftover from the last time you had an all-day drinking fest? No one wants to drink that beer. But it's not like you can throw it away, so you may as well find a use for it.

We think we found that use.

To this point we feel like we've been pretty generous in handing out bratwursts at the JSF Tailgate, so you'll humor us for a moment while we go a different direction. You see, Frank Caliendo has finally taken it too far. With TBS broadcasting the first round of the playoffs, viewers who are just looking to watch a little baseball are being bombarded with ads for Frank TV from all angles. Toss in the occasional Dish Network ads that he's shilling for and TBS has officially sent us into Caliendo detox.

So Frank, not only do you not get a bratwurst off the grill, but as our token of appreciation for bludgeoning us over the head with ads for your awful TV show, we offer you the disgusting leftover Busch that was wallowing in the bottom of our cooler for a month.

Go ahead do an impression of us. We don't care.



1976 - Pedro Gomez's long lost twin brother, Taylor Hicks is born. Pedro, where art thou?

1985 - Evan Longoria celebrates life for the first time. 23 years later, he's hung over after celebrating the Rays' ALDS win over the White Sox. If he's not hung over, well then, good for him.

2003 - Arnold Schwarzenagger takes over as governor of California proving it's an absolute travesty that Carl Weathers has never held public office. If Blain and Dutch can do it, Dillon can too.

2009 - Chris Berman regains 41 pounds in one day after quitting Nutrisystem.




Stuart Scott after co-host Steve Young bet him $200 that he couldn't look at the primary camera and count the number of fingers Young was holding up at the same time. Time to pay up, Mormon.





Yahoo! Sports and Foxsports are charged with double-dipping when it comes to capturing the Red Sox series win over the Angels.





At least Yahoo! went with the uber-cool version of "them".



The Gorilla

Monday marked the nine year anniversary of the passing of one of pro wrestling's most entertaining broadcasters, Gorilla Monsoon. When it comes to 80s WWF, the Gorilla was as much a staple as the Hulkster, Macho Man and Koko B Ware's bird Frankie.

He was also synonymous with his broadcast partners, Jesse Ventura and Bobby the Brain Heenan. Gorilla played the straight man to the bullying of "the Body" and the sarcastic chiding of "the Brain".

Off the top of the head, the words "deafening", "pandemonium" and "bananas" come to mind as Monsoon's most used and memorable words. Everyone can appreciate "bananas".

Joe Mustache and his stable of writers at JoeSportsFan have not forgotten the stylings of those inch-thick coke-bottles, either.

Scott Van Pelt / C3P0





Fan of the Week :: The Brady/Gisele Patriots Jersey - The jersey police should have a field day with this fan. What a silly horse.

Week 5 Denouement - If the column doesn't show up this afternoon and doesn't call any of you to inform you of such, it's just doing its Plaxico Burress impersonation.