First off, huge correction from last week: LANCE ARMSTRONG.  How can I forget his streak?  I basically cried when I saw his Nike commercial that used his press conference footage for the first time, so I have no idea how in the world I missed that one.  If a man can make you cry during a Nike commercial, leaving him off a streak list is absolutely inexcusable.  Speaking of Armstrong, here is a question semi-related to him: who holds the record for longest time wearing one of his Livestrong bracelets or an imitation?  I know that I wore my Go Cards! bracelet for the entire 2004 postseason.  I’m sure someone has had one on for five years now.

As for this week’s list, the aforementioned Redbirds take a three-game winning streak into this weekend against the Cubs after losing two of three last weekend at Wrigley.  The series was as intense as one in April could possibly be.  What would a Cards/Cubs NLCS be like?  People could die.  At any rate, the Cubs have had some guys over the years that haven’t quite worked out, and here are just seven of them.

7. Tuffy Rhodes

Good God was this hard to whittle down to seven.  Hee Seop Choi could have been on here, but since they royally screwed the Marlins into giving them Derrek Lee for him, he gets to slide.  They fooled the Marlins too.  Bobby Hill was the next Jeff Kent in some Cub fans’ eyes, and he had all of 596 career plate appearances.  Tuffy Rhodes is the Cubs’ Sam Horn, hitting three home runs on Opening Day 1994.  He proceeded to hit five more in his American career.  He moved to Japan, where he tied the record for home runs in a season with 55, and sits as the top foreign home run hitter ever, and 12th in Japanese history.  Believe it or not, the guy is still playing at age 41.



6. Felix Pie

Pie was so beloved by the Cub organization that they (allegedly) declared him untouchable last offseason in a trade for Brian Roberts.  After waiting a year, the Orioles did get him—for guys named Garrett and Henry.  Pie was responsible for some of the most atrocious at-bats in the majors in 2008, striking out 29 times in 83 at-bats.



5. Rich Hill

Hill is the Cub version of Anthony Reyes for the Cardinals (aside from the World Series Game 1 victory).  He would dominate the minor leagues only to come up to the majors to struggle.  In Hill’s case, he was absolutely nasty for the first half of the 2007 season, only to fizzle out and completely lose his control.  Like Reyes, the Cubs ended up having to basically give him away in a trade to little fanfare.  He is now injured for the Orioles.



4. Todd Van Poppel

This one really isn’t the Cubs’ fault, but he is probably the most notorious “can’t miss” prospect who didn’t amount to anything at all.  Van Poppel was famously on the cover of the first-ever Beckett Future Stars magazine with Nolan Freaking Ryan.  That’s quite a bold stance to take—it’s like when Reebok threw Shaq into an ad with Walton, Russell, Kareem, and others during his rookie year.  That one worked out a bit better.  Van Poppel started with Tony LaRussa’s A’s in the early 90s, but surprisingly didn’t make it over to the Cardinals with him like so many other LaRussa alumni did.  It could have then been part of another category within the Cards/Cubs rivalry: the Cubs taking the Cardinals’ sloppy seconds.  So Taguchi.  Tony Womack.  Aaron Miles.  John Mabry.  Jim Edmonds.  Gary Gaetti.  That’s just within the last ten years too.



3. Corey Patterson

I once was in a heated argument with some Cub fans in 2003 over who was a better player: Corey Patterson or Jim Edmonds.  They were serious.  That’s how highly he was thought of in some Cub fan circles.  By the end, when he was hitting .215 with a .254 OB% and a .348 SLG% in 481 (!) at-bats, he could barely take a step without being roundly booed at Wrigley.  Sammy Sosa went through the same “love him then hate him” stretch with Cub fans too.  Actually, the king of that would have to be Dusty Baker.  It went from “In Dusty We Trusty” shirts all over Wrigley to intense hatred of a man who would play Patterson and Neifi Perez on a regular basis and leave his studs in to throw 200 pitches.  Speaking of which…



2. Mark Prior

The Cubs spent four miserable seasons Waiting for Prior to get healthy.  The Cardinals have been playing the same game with Chris Carpenter for three years now.  It’s questionable how much of it was due to Dusty mis-managing his staff (after all, the guy pitched Kerry Wood in a game the day before he was having surgery), and how much was Prior’s “perfect mechanics” not being so perfect.



1. Ernie Broglio

In the interest of full disclosure, Cub fans have two legs up in the ongoing argument right now: they have won the season series every season since 2005, and they lead the all-time series against the two.  That’s just about it.  Cards fans currently can say that despite the last two division titles by the Cubs, they still have the same number of playoff wins: zero.  There’s plenty of other ammunition, but probably the top three old standbys would go this way—coming in at #3, Bartman.  #2, Broglio for Brock.  And of course, #1, 1908.  Now, if that NLCS ever happens…



The Top 7 is written by Jason Major. He thinks Doug Dascenzo was also over-hyped. Email him at jason@joesportsfan.com.