Cardinals trade Skip Schumaker to the Los Angeles Dodgers for Subject 7

12
Dec
2012

Way back in 2010, a Duke student named “Karen Owen” became internet famous after her ‘Duke University F–k List‘ went viral.

On this list, the recent Duke grad created a mock thesis which rated 13 guys across Duke athletic teams that she allegedly studied with (read: had sex with).  The ratings were based on things like size, technique, creativity, etc.  and bundled into a Powerpoint presentation.  Yeah, pretty vile stuff.

With 2013 in plain sight, most of the world has forgotten about Ms. Owen and her infamous list.  That is, until Skip Schumaker was traded for one of the dudes on the list.  His name is “Jake Lemmerman” and he’s more affectionately known as “Subject #7″.  Although, after reading this, St. Louis women will likely nominate him as “Subject #3″ (behind Mike Matheny and TJ Oshie, obviously).

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We have very little clue of Jake Lemmerman’s on-the-field abilities.  No one does, really.  He was a fifth-round draft pick in 2010 and batted .233 with seven homers and 46 RBIs at Class AA Chattanooga in 2012.  Who knows.

What we do know is that he has a “really, really good body” and is “aggressively talented”.  Somewhere in the depths of the Cardinals recruiting profiles, we’re hoping that a scout actually used those descriptions to describe Lemmerman to John Mozeliak.

 

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