Creepy Cardinals collectible? Baseball cliches can sell them


As this week’s JSF Original deftly exposed, there’s an unwritten rule in the ad biz that if you buy time during the radio broadcast of a baseball game, you need to sprinkle in some baseball terminology regardless of whether it makes any sense. 

But this practice isn’t isolated to just radio.  Anyone watching Cardinals games on TV knows that at every commercial break, you will be inundated with cliches determined to smash baseball vocabulary over your head. Normally starring Al Hrabosky of course. 

The plague has extended even further.  As we found out personally this weekend, it now includes direct mail advertisements for creepy plastic dolls that happen to be licensed by Major League Baseball. How do they keep you from running away? A generic baseball headline should do the trick…

Sure we’re a little freaked out by this piece of Cardinals memorabilia, but we’ll give it the benefit of the doubt.  If in this context, “hit a home run” means “cause you to wake up in a cold sweat only to see a half naked rubber baby staring through you, studying you as you sleep and plotting the perfect time to come to life and terrorize you like Chucky”, then yes, it does hit a home run. 

Although if that’s the case, then we shudder to think about the collectible that hits a Grand Slam. 

Nevermind, we just found it.


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