Hey Fox Sports Midwest, you’re welcome to use our ideas…


Dear Fox Sports Midwest,

Since we don’t have an exclusivity contract with the Cardinals on tap for 2011, we’re forced to actually develop unique, creative concepts on our own from time-to-time.

Like most people around town, we found the Cardinals recent head-shaving activity entertaining.  We decided to parlay this fodder into a graphic that illustrated what your two core broadcasters, Dan McLaughlin and Al Hrabosky, looked like bald.

Visualizing anyone without hair is laughable enough, but since both of those guys have become a running punchline around town, it was even more appealing for our general readership.

It’s actually getting kind of played out, even for us sophomoric bloggers.  You see, this is the fourth time we’ve posted the graphic above.  We pushed it out via Twitter (on Monday *and* Tuesday) and posted it on this very website yesterday afternoon.

Heck, you found it funny enough to circle up your design guys and duplicate the EXACT same concept on your Tuesday Post-Game show.

Thankfully, Hrabosky was out of the booth last night auditioning for an off-Broadway production role that called for a “nimble human that looks like a gay lion”.  Interesting career choice, but fitting.  Thus, you were able to swap in Ricky Horton and move McLaughlin into the passenger’s seat (which is always a good idea past 10 pm).

Very nicely done – even though we like our graphic better.  In yours, McLaughlin looks like he’s ready to appear in a burn victim PSA and Horton looks like he’s ready for a remake of “Coneheads”.  But, whatever.

You overachievers even took it a step further and did a mock-up of Pat Parris and Jack Clark in the studio with bald heads.  Hey-o.

Kudos on the Mikhail Gorbachev birthmark on Pat Parris’ head.  Jokes from 1992 always kill.  Shame on you for not working in a Principal Belding zinger, though.

Most people would be upset with the fleecing, but not us.  We’re here to tell you that you’re more than welcome to use our material.  You’ve done it before (see this then this).  You’ll do it again.  You have our approval.

It’s okay.  Let’s embrace this partnership.

Thus, please allow us to give you some active suggestions.

If you’re going to go the “bald heads” route, it’s only fair to include everyone on the FSM broadcast team.  We took care of Hungo.  We both covered McLaughlin.  You guys included Horton, Parris and Clark.  By our calculations, there’s one notable omission from the late night tomfoolery.

Oh, that’s right.

Bald jokes are only funny for guys that aren’t actually bald.

Dammit.  Alright, let’s try again.  New idea.

Here’s a recurring idea that is guaranteed to sweep through St. Louis households.

Par Parris: “Well Jack, from the looks of it, our color spectrum is telling us that your skin is trending more towards ‘Cardinals Red’ tonight.  Orange ya glad I didn’t say ‘Astros’? Heh heh.”

Jack Clark: (2 minutes to tell Pat Parris that he’s not funny….followed by 12 minutes of telling the Cardinals they need to find a daggone leader in the clubhouse.)

It can’t miss.

And, you’re welcome to use it.


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