The Pirates Clinched Their 18th Consecutive Losing Season; Give Away Crap


On Saturday, the Pittsburgh Pirates officially became “losers” for the eighteenth consecutive season.

With a 7-2 loss to the Mets on Saturday, the Pirates dropped to a Major League worst, 40-83. You see, that 83 is key, here because mathematically speaking, it’s impossible for them to win more than that many games. So even if Daniel McCutchen, Evan Meek and the rest of that yellow and black scrapheap were to tear off a 41-game win streak, they would finish at 81-83. Soooo close.

Last year, the Pirates became North America’s first professional franchise to have 17 consecutive losing seasons. Some naysayers thought that the Pirates had reached the peak of suckitude last season, but that suckiest bunch of sucks went out there this year and sucked even more. This season was the fastest a Pirates squad reached the 82-loss mark.

To their credit, the Pirates rattled off a 2-1 victory over the Mets on Sunday, in the wake of their clinch.

But, while the Pirates team took a positive step forward on the field, their organization took a collective leap backwards by offering the following promotional giveaway to children 14 and younger on Sunday afternoon.


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