The Weekly Hypothetical: pick any St. Louis athlete to throw first-pitch at the Cardinals Home Opener


It’s time for another installment of The Weekly Hypothetical, which gives you a chance to become part of our weekly podcast. For you newbies, here’s how it works: (1) we pose a question, (2) you answer the question, (3) we give away a prize to the best answer on our weekly show.

Simple, eh? Before we begin, a special shout out to Julee, who took home top honors last week. In a related note, a shout out to our staff at the JSF Headquarters for devising a plan to get women to talk to us. Small victories, fellas.

Now, it’s time to question your intellect and challenge your maturity.

Bring the heat, kids. We’ll name the top answers on this week’s podcast, with top dog taking home some snazzy gear.

Episode Three’s question:

“You are put in charge of Home Opener festivities at Busch Stadium. With said responsibilities, you have the ability to send any St. Louis athlete – past or present – to the mound for the ceremonial first pitch. Past or present. Baseball player or non-baseball player. Your call.

For pure entertainment, who are you choosing and why?”

You can participate in Episode Three’s Weekly Hypothetical one of three ways.

1.) Leave a comment below.

2.) Email us:

3.) Send us a message on Twitter at @JoeSportsFan.

Heck, if you’re feeling extra saucy, hashtag your response with #JSFHypothetical.



  • Burnsy says:

    Skeeter Barnes. Because I just want a reason to talk about Skeeter Barnes.

  • Chris C. says:

    There’s no one I’d want to see throw more than Bob Gibson. If I could go back in time to see one moment in Cardinals history, it’d be his 17 Ks in the 1968 WS. My dad was there and I’ve always been jealous.

  • Fendi Hotdogbun says:

    I’d like to see if Steve Walsh could make it to the plate without a relay man.

  • Shep says:

    I’d like to see Bob Bassen throw to Tommy Herr because I think they are the same person in real life.

  • Buddy Garrity says:

    Harold Snepsts. 1 word – mustache. His presence would invoke one of two responses from the crowd: 1) Who??? or 2) thunderous applause from die-hard NHL fans and fans of mustaches in general. I’m not sure if he could throw a strike or not. But the throw would be secondary at that point.

  • Jon says:

    Stubby Clapp to Bo Hart. Eckstein is already gonna be there. Scrapgasm.

  • Tito Landrum's Jheri Curl says:

    Does Tony Micelli count? If so then I think this is a no-brainer.

  • dukeness says:

    Joaquin Andujar – because youneverknow

  • Retired Cardinals bat boy, Josh.

  • ToniferJames says:

    Mark McGwire’s son. In the bat boy uniform he wore in 1998.

    But seriously: So Taguchi. I am not screwing around. They need to retire 99. Because no one else will probably ever wear a number that high anyway.

  • John M says:

    Dennys Reyes for the thrill of wondering if he’ll eat the ball before throwing out the first pitch. Or as he has called it for years, the ceremonial first bite.

  • Andrew K. says:

    Rick Ankiel. He wouldn’t be allowed to soft toss it up there. Must be from the windup. There is also room for fan involvement in the festivities. Where will the ceremonial first pitch end up? A. Glove B. backstop C. Evidence room (in the event the ball becomes a murder weapon)

  • This is easy, Satchel Paige, case closed, not only would he put on a show of his own for the first pitch, he would somehow talk his way into being the starting pitcher of the game, and bring everyone in to huddle around second base as he proceeds to strike out the side.

  • Greetings says:

    Mike Danton, though he’d probably try to get a hit.

  • Mark Dierker says:

    Rams QB Sam Bradford to Molina. He would have the ultimate sensation of somebody catching the damn ball – or at least somebody there to catch it.

  • 12in12 says:

    Lou Brock. A Cardinal great, and to rub it in the Cubs faces.

  • Andy Oldenburg says:

    Kent Bottenfield. Under one restriction: He must walk out with a box of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts and one must be in his mouth while delivering the first pitch.

  • Zach says:

    Whelp, not sure if he qualifies or not, but you gotta go with Dad Rasmus.

    Why? Think the fans would truly enjoy that one. Maybe they should just so happen to hand out World Series baseballs to the first 30,000 fans…

  • Eddie says:

    Jack Clark throwing to Todd Worrell, with Don Denkinger there to call it a ball or strike.

  • Markel Vick says:

    If ‘Easy Ed’ was still alive, I would love to see “Easy” Ed McCauley throw to Steve Stipanovich. The two best basketball stars to ever come from St. Louis!!

  • Jon B says:

    The scrappiest of them all: Eddie Gaedel.

  • RamPage95 says:

    I’ve gotta go with former Cards and cubs great, Todd Wellemeyer. Nuff Said.

  • Adam says:

    Friday would be as good of day as any for Bartman to come out of hiding. Bartman first pitch caught by David Freese symbolizing the last two NLCS MVPs for both teams.

  • Doyle the Great says:

    Joe Thurston. Considering the fact that he is probably making a steady living playing the saxophone outside the stadium anyway. Bring the man inside and then let him get back to playing “When the Saints Go Marching In”

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