Thoughts From a Message Board: Lance Berkman edition [CARDS]

06
Dec
2010

After the Cardinals announced the 1-year deal with Lance Berkman and GM John Mozeliak insinuated that the core of the Cardinals lineup is now in place, the local message boards proceeded to light up brighter than the Christmas tree sitting in your living room. 

Most of the reaction ranged between skeptical and positive, but as usual, there were a sampling of over-the-top negative responses.  And, as usual, those were the ones we found most amusing.  The top five favorites I stumbled upon Sunday, in no particular order…

Not excited about an old, washed-up fatty making our outfield worse

This smells a lot like the Tino Martinez deal, though for less time and money on his contract. Unless Lance Berkman is in tip top shape come February, he’ll simply be a high dollar pinch hitter.

The only place Berkman will produce is at the box office. The move guarantees that plenty of tickets will be sold before the season starts.

Berkman was really something before electricity and indoor plumbing. Who knows, a couple of sessions of butt poking in the bathroom stalls, with the godmother of steroids (McGwire), may do wonders for Lance.

Wow this would have been great 4 or 5 yrs ago……Now it depends on how many games La Genius plays him….Ryan Ludwick would hit a home run and then be benched the next day for Randy Quinn…. 

Oh how the depth of knowledge and passion of negative Cardinals fans just pours out in these emotional diatribes.  Despite the fact that Berkman finished 5th in the MVP voting as recently as 2008, he is now considered the modern day Tino Martinez, a box office gimmick, a player who was good before Edison discovered electricity and perhaps best of all, a reason for someone to mistake Randy Winn with someone named Randy Quinn.

When it comes to sports fans speaking their mind via snarky jokes, no one – not even bloggers – can bring the heat like message boarders. Anonymity means the common sense filters have no place in this world.

 —
E-mail: josh@joesportsfan.com
Twitter: @jbacott

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