Writers Blow a Gast-ket Composing Headlines

16
May
2013

Cardinals’ rookie John Gast made his major-league debut Wednesday night in a 10-4 win over the Mets. With a surname that begs to be both punned and rhymed, it was no surprise to see a few headlines that were just a little bit, well, Gast-ly.

After all, Gast is only one letter away from the word “gas”. Something the folks at 101 ESPN noticed as well.

101-what-a-gast

In something of an upset though, many headline writers decided to unleash their inner poet after the game, as per this example from STLToday.com.

stltoday-blast-for-gast

The most egregious offender though had to be the major league baseball itself, starting with this entry, which couples the power of rhyme with just a hint of flatulence.

mlb-blasts-gasts

But that was nothing compared to this next headline, which could have come straight out of a Dr. Seuss book.

mlb-seuss-hdr

I do not like headlines with ham. I do not like them, Sam I Am.

As one might expect, once a general public is bombarded with rhymes and puns, eventually this sort of thing starts trickling into online forums.

stlforums-gast3x

Which lead to this interesting comment:

stlforums-gast-comment

On second thought, I think I could tolerate a million puns if Gast had an arm like Cincinnati’s Aroldis Chapman.

Some more headlines we definitely expect to see before John Gast’s career is done.

“John Turns in a Gastly Performance”
“Cardinals Run Out of Gast Against Reds”
“Miller Just Passed Gast for Team Lead in Wins”
“Cardinal Fans A-Gast Over Situation in Middle East”
“Gast from the Past: John Returns to Busch as Marlin, Topples Cards”

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