The Worthless Card Collection
There's not even free gum included in this pile of cardboard garbage.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Ralph Citarella's 1984 stats - 10 games, 22 innings pitched, 72 Jersey Shore chicks bagged.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
For Neal Heaton, there were three levels of hangovers - regular hangovers, whiskey hangovers and "night after a tractor pull" hangovers.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
It sort of freaked him, but Charlie Puleo couldn't help it. Mr. Met just sort of made him feel funny in his pants.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
In the 1981 offseason, Craig Kusik accomplished a life-long goal by publishing a cookbook entitled "Hot Dogs: Perfect for every meal"
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Of all the photographer's puppets, Manny Sanguillen's favorite was Rodney the Donkey.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Because Tim Stoddard never could fully grasp the traditional system of counting fingers, Orioles catchers were forced to bring picture-based flashcards behind the plate to call the game.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Sure, Will McEnaney had a rough looking exterior, but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt when fans mocked him for curling his hair.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
FBI agent Joey McLaughlin worked deep undercover for almost two full years to infiltrate Major League Baseball, all just to win a bet with someone in his bureau.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
He stressed out about it all night and sure enough, just as he had feared, the donuts were brought out seconds after Paul Reuschel was called away for his photo shoot.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Without fail, the first thing Warren Brusstar did when the Phillies arrived in a new city was spend his entire per diem dressing up and getting "Old Time Photos" taken.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Whitfield wasn't satisfied with an at bat unless he heard a pop in his leg.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
The Astros didn't change uniforms until a handful of players, including Ashby, mentioned to the team doctors they were having trouble impregnating their wives and groupies.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Woods didn't care what anyone said: he was using two Louisville Sluggers at the plate. And if he needed to, he'd grab a third.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
In an effort to meet MLB diversity guidelines, the 1981 Cardinals made utility player Roger Smith grow a mustache and change his playing name to Julio Gonzalez.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Say what you want about the impact of performance enhancing drugs, but Terry Harper was freaking ripped from his rookie debut til the day he retired.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Unsure if the team would put a winning product on the field at the start of the '86 season, the Angels' front office mandated that Mike Witt pitch on stilts for the opening month to give the team a more circus-like atmosphere.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
While he could vaguely speak the language, Brown never did figure out how to write autograph messages in English.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Unfortunately for Angels fans, it was an 0-2 count with the bases loaded when Ruppert Jones realized he left his dog Muzzy in his locked car on a 90 degree Anaheim afternoon. Sadly, Muzzy didn't make it past the 7th inning stretch.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
A slave to superstition, even after earning a job as a Major League third basemen, Tim Foli refused to take the field with anything other than the plastic glove he first debuted in a 1958 Little League game.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
"Perfect Harmony" is the only way to describe the word "Sweet" stitched on the back of a jersey just inches below this man's hair.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Mercado marched into the Mariners front office and immediately demanded a trade when team management informed him that they were denying his request to wear parachute pants as part of his uniform.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Amidst one of the most trecherous storms to hit the city in decades, thousands of people claimed to have witnessed a vision appear in the gray, foggy Chicago sky. Despite varying details, all of the witness accounts shared one common trait - the vision had an impeccable mustache.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Gary Roenicke made the bittersweet decision to turn pro in baseball only after the local horseshoe throwin' league in which he starred officially folded.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Despite his status as a 34 year old rookie, Ernesto earned his teammates respect when he calmly walked onto the field in spring training and snorted the entire third base line.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
The second he felt that baseball bat pressed against his throat, Dale Berra knew he had made a mistake in taking the last pack of Twinkies out of Dave Parker's locker.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
When Cliff Johnson bragged about "wailing on his bass guitar", teammates were unsure if he was referring to an actual bass guitar or his 14 inch penis.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Whenever the Cleveland Indians pitching staff needed a win in the worst way, they encouraged Ramon Romero to pull out the glove he knew as "mi pupura martillo". Translation: My Purple Hammer
Unconfirmed Player Note:
His Pittsfield Mets teammates ensured Medina Luciano that in America, wearing buttons from comic book movies on your hat was a surefire way to make it to The Show.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
It was safe to say that the watercolor known as "Denny in Heaven" that was expected to bring in huge bids at the Phillies team auction was a big disappointment.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
In the greater Kansas City metro area, Steve Balboni cards are considered a valid form of currency.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Yeah, it just so happened that Howard Johnson did realize that his name was the same as a hotel chain. Frankly, he didn’t see why it was so damn funny.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Originally considered a detriment, Gary Allenson’s lazy left eye, allowed him the unique ability to keep tabs on runners at first and third base at the same time from behind the plate.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Though his petitions have been repeatedly denied by the Cardinals' front office, Ken Reitz hasn't stopped demanding that Tony La Russa cut the hair hovering over his ears.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
When he realized his dream of pitching in the Major Leagues was over in 1984, Brent Gaff came out of the closet and signed on with the Red Sox as an outfielder named Mike Greenwell.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
It wasn't until a 15 minute tryst with the Topps camerawoman and post-romp cigarette that Mike Witt agreed to have his picture taken.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Go ahead, tell Adrian Devine that he has a girls name and see what freaking happens.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Even at a time when 85% of the league had wispy mustaches, John Candelaria still managed to come off as "creepy"
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Rick Rhoden can feel your eyes making love to him.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
The Tigers accounting department estimated that Dave Rozema's extreme addiction to grape Kool Aid cost the franchise over $7,500 in the 1985 season.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
No matter how many times the Donruss photographer tried, he could not convince John Moses that there were just no cue cards for him to read.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
He might have been a .258 lifetime hitter, but Dave Bergman was absolutely dominant when the team sat around the dugout and played "duck, duck, goose".
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Whenever Mike Piazza time travels, he goes by the alias "Joe Lefebvre".
Unconfirmed Player Note:
During the biggest slump of his career, Traber switched to a self-induced V-neck jersey and soon captured player of the week honors. In keeping with the superstition, he refuses to wear full-collar shirts and hasn't showered.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
In an effort to execute a natural smile for his pictures, Milt insisted the photographer hold his 3 foot Mighty Mouse poster eye-level next to the camera.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Although it was originally viewed as an act of arrogance in the Pirates clubhouse, teammates soon realized that when Jason Thompson wanted to interview himself, it was best to just let him go.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Rainey never physically recovered from a rookie season prank in which he was strapped to a bullpen lawn chair for 42 straight hours.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Brewers Cultural Awareness Day was going great right up until Tony Muser asked Glenn Braggs if their new uniforms meant they were "cool with the Crips".
Unconfirmed Player Note:
It never failed, every time Don Robinson went to the bars wearing his yellow pants and matching hat, he took home with the hottest chick in the house.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
For reasons he would never reveal to teammates or family, the San Diego Chicken absolutely infuriated Mike Sadek.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Despite only playing for 10 unspectacular seasons, Biff Pocoroba still holds 37 Major League records for players named "Biff".
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Fischlin was a .320 hitter in the 25 career games he played the night after being pummeled in a bar fight.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
The rule in the Royals clubhouse was simple – mock Mike Armstrong's butt chin and pay a stiff price.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
No matter how many times the team fined him for blowing out fuses in the locker room, Jim Slaton staunchly refused to stop using his favorite hair dryer.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Amazingly, Dan Gladden's offensive statistics began a meteoric rise when he was finally convinced to give up the 45-inch homemade bat he called "Big John Wood".
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Gibson never understood why it made some teammates uncomfortable when he slowly coated his stick in pine tar.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Cubs officials took extensive measures to make sure that Drew Hall was not on the field during any of the "kids run the bases" days.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Sure there were better shortstops than him, but Angel Salazar was able to take the field every night of his Major League career confident that no one had a better perm.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Bud received an honorary roster spot on the '86 AL All Star Team after Commissioner Peter Ueberroth awarded him the title of "Baseball’s Biggest Camel Toe"
Unconfirmed Player Note:
As a demonstration of his freakish strength, before every game, Giants catcher Milt May held a bat over his head and let teammates take turns doing pre-game chin-ups on it.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
The temperature at the time this photo was taken was 94 degrees. Needless to say, Tom Brookens really loved his satin jacket.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
It really hit Mike Richardt close to home when a female heckler claimed that she could bench press more than he could.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Several of his Cardinals teammates wagered that Mike Ramsey could not manage to get his chest hair prominently featured on his 1983 Donruss card. They lost.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Joe Pettini was raised by wolves…wolves that were awesome at baseball.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Three weeks after this picture was taken, Jerry Don set a Tigers team record when he took the field on August 3, 1990 with his pants just 9 inches below his chin.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Incavigilia never came to terms with the Texas Rangers policy that prevented him from taking the field in his lucky jean shorts.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
While he wasn't much of an outfielder, Warren Newsom was without a doubt the best clubhouse bouncer the Sox had ever seen.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Mullins was as shocked as the rest of the world that, at one point in time, Major League Baseball actually employed a guy named Fran.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Pena was dumbfounded when umpires repeatedly penalized him with a balk for what he called his "hiding besbol tricky".
Unconfirmed Player Note:
When the ladies asked – and oh, did they ask – Bryden told them that the "TR" is his name simply stood for "Totally Ravishing".
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Ward was put under 24 HR bullpen surveillance when coaches caught him sniffing the underpants and jockstraps of teamates Tom Henke and Mark Eichorn.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
If it were legal, Andy Allanson would hunt humans for sport.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
No one was more embarrassed than Tony Phillips himself, when he couldn't remember if his last name was spelled with 1 or 2 "L"'s during an autograph session.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Waits surprised Indians team officials when he requested that his 1983 signing bonus be paid entirely in Bubbalicious.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
It was an unwritten rule in the Chicago clubhouse – no one touched Dick Tidrow’s White Castle cheeseburgers.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
10 seconds before this photo was shot, Willie McGee took a sip of what he thought was Pepsi. It was actually a cup of Jack Clark's tobacco spit.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
When Gary Matthews' fear of E.T. became public in the Cubs' clubhouse, teammates made light of the situation by whispering "Ellll-iii-ot" from dark corners of the dugout. He's still seeking help today, and hates Reese's Pieces.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Denny Leonard vowed to seek immediate revenge on the Royals' Assistant to Public Relations for revoking his petition to start the Kansas City chapter of the KKK.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Nobody ever told Dwight that he was supposed to shave his "playoff beard" after the Brewers lost in the 1982 World Series.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Luis Quinones always referred to his bat as his "32-inch pole".
Unconfirmed Player Note:
All his life Randy Kutcher dreamed of being a World Series MVP for one reason...a free corvette.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Astrodome security was always thrown for a loop whenever Glenn Davis drove his van with curtained-windows to the ballpark on opening day.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
In a 1990 tell-all, Quisenberry revealed that his right arm, and his mustache, were genetically engineered.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Mike Mason's closest family members did not find it entertaining when he got liquored up at family Christmas parties and instructed small children to "come see what's in his glove".
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Even after 25 years in the business, the Padres equipment manager found himself stunned by the size of the yellow pit stains Gene Walter left on his home jerseys.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Todd Jones wants to know what in the f--k you’re looking at.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
As the four fans in Section 312 found out the day this picture was taken, you do not want to heckle Al Cowens during a photo shoot.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
In 1985, Wayne Gross demanded that the Orioles trade him after he learned that clubhouse regulations prohibited him from mounting his prize 16-point deer head in his locker.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Buck had no idea what the clubhouse chef put in his special "casserole", but he knew that he freaking loved that casserole.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Though he couldn't explain why, Anaheim pitcher Greg Minton was completely freaked out by the movie "Angels in the Outfield."
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Even though it was dismissed as a paranoid delusion, Juan Berenguer continued to carry a baseball with him at all times to ensure that no one stole the turkey sandwich he had stashed in the dugout a year earlier.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Stanton was dismissed from the team in 1987, after skipping spring training to fulfill his Hollywood dream and star as an extra in several Unsolved Mysteries episodes.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Bill Campbell has been very outspoken in his criticism of Barry Bonds, claiming that illegal steroids have helped Bonds smash the MLB record for largest head that Campbell held for almost 20 years.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Ernie is still kicking himself for not coming up with the nickname "Macho" Camacho.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
It would be an understatement to say that Paul Mirabella was unhappy with the limited selection of combs offered by the Fleer photographer.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
The Fleer photographer was able to land the perfect photo, only when Ramirez bent down to play with his pet gerbil, whom he called "Lil' Burrito."
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Jamie Easterly never understood why people were under the impression that baseball players had lots of sex with groupies.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
In 1982 Carmen Castillo batted a career low .208. It was then that teammates informed him that his hitting was likely to improve if he took the weighted donut off for his actual at-bats.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Krenchicki was devastated emotionally when teammates reacted poorly to the poems he crafted for each and taped to their respective lockers before a playoff game.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
When this picture was taken, Ken Phelps was thinking about clowns.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Leyland was certain that the idea for his team to take the field wearing 36-inch stove top hats as part of their uniform would result in a significant spike in Pirates merchandising revenue. He was wrong.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
In May of 1984, frustrated by several failed attempts to correctly pronounce their starter's name, the Phillies made an executive decision that from that moment forward, Porfirio Altamirano would be known as "Bob Jenkins" for convenience.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Carl Willis spent three weeks on the disabled list in 1986 for what team doctors diagnosed as "extreme B.O."
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Absolutely none of Haas' teammates would talk about how he received the nickname "Moose".
Unconfirmed Player Note:
On May 30, 1988 Atherton was forced to sit out the game and was disciplined by Indians manager Doc Edwards after eating an entire tube of eye black that he found on the dugout floor.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
In 1981, Gorman Thomas was suspended five games after he ripped off the arm of a heckling fan and used it to lay down a succesful sacrifice bunt during the game.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
In 1990, Greg Gross was placed on the 15 day DL after the extreme tightness in his baseball pants resulted in his left leg going without blood for over 4 hours.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Tippy earned his nickname in 1985 when legend has it, he drank 26 Bartyles & James wine coolers on a single cross country flight to Seattle.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
One of Dan Schatzeder's career goals according to his profile in the 1985 Expos media guide was to "extend his mustache from ear to ear." It is unknown if he ever succeeded.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Teammates dubbed Larry Summers "Champ" after he dominated the clubhouse beer chugging contest for the third consecutive season, soundly defeating teammate, Candy Maldonado in the final round.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
In 1979, League officials were notified when Ross Grimsley made a formal request to the public address announcer to be introduced as "the White Oscar Gamble". His request was denied.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Of all the perks his status as a Major League Baseball player offered Joel Davis, his favorite were the free White Sox pajamas.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
It was not uncommon for Barry Jones to completely forget how to spell his name during autograph sessions.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
In July 1982, Willie Hernandez balked in the game winning run versus the Pirates, when he inadvertantly failed to step off the rubber while picking out his afro in between batters.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
In November 1989, Fred Manrique gave up baseball and returned to his native Venezuela where he founded the Manrique Ministries. The operation was shut down 6 months later after he was indicted on multiple counts of sexual misconduct .
Unconfirmed Player Note:
On June 13, 1986, Rance Mulliniks was ejected from the game after tackling the home plate umpire who had mistakenly called him "Lance" when he stepped up to bat.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Pitching his first game for the Pittsburgh Pirates, Larry McWilliams became an instant fan favorite when he took the mound wearing a full pirate costume complete with eye patch and plastic parrot. He pitched 2 innings giving up 9 runs.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Tom Lawless went on to become a nationally ranked Karaoke artist in the late 90's, fueled by his groundbreaking performance of "We Built This City" by Starship. His album, Lawless Does The Hits sold 350 copies in 1998.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Moments after the representative from Fleer had taken this picture, Kelly Paris became enraged and smashed $20,000 worth of camera equipment with his bat, claiming that the photographer "never told him to say cheese."
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Chris Codiroli's photo shoot with Topps ran nearly 4 hours until he finally landed the perfect pose while bending down to pick up a partially smoked cigarette butt.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Rasmussen bypassed his first invitation to the All Star game in 1978 in order to attend the inaugural meeting for the Missouri chapter of the Burt Reynolds Fan Club, of which he was a founding father.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
On July 5, 1986, Joey McLaughlin was ejected in the sixth inning of a Rangers White Sox game after he pointed his glasses at the sun and lit the opposing batter on fire. The Rangers lost the game.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
In 1985, Jim Essian beat all odds when he started a major league game despite having a skull that was made up of 90% Kevlar plastic. Jim painted the plastic green in honor of the A's team colors.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
In 1987 Bob Walk lost out to Charles Bronson for the lead role in Death Wish 4: The Crackdown.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Jay Baller exploded onto the National League scene in 1989, using the Cubs V-neck jerseys to help run away with the league lead in chest hairs.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
George Wright went on to be wildly successful in the 80's rap game when he ditched the curl in favor of a high fade and reverted back to his childhood nickname, Big Daddy Kane.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Pete Ladd made a living during the 1987 offseason as the stunt double for Weird Al Yankovic in the movie UHF.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Once played an entire game in Japan in a Godzilla costume. Horner hit two homeruns in the game.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Lee Tunnell is credited with creating the first MLB Dungeons & Dragons club of which him and teammate Sixto Lezcano were the only active members
Unconfirmed Player Note:
In 1988, during an on-field brawl between the Indians and the Red Sox, Sammy Stewart was beaten mercilessly by both the Red Sox players and his own teammates.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Pete Vuckovich once ate a baseball like an apple to intimidate the opposing batter.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Bill Buckner claimed that the ball rolled through his legs in the 1986 World Series because he "lost it in his mustache."
Unconfirmed Player Note:
In 1983, a 9-year-old Indians batboy mistakenly tried on Andre Thornton's glasses and was rendered legally blind in both eyes.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
In 1986, a groundball was inadvertantly lodged in Washington's afro and after much deliberation was ruled a ground rule double by the umpiring crew.
Unconfirmed Player Note:
Phil Garner has not shaven one time since this picture was taken in 1983. He affectionately refers to his mustache as his "squirrel's tail."
Joe Nolan
After waking up in his own vomit on the clubhouse floor, Joe Nolan realized that he had been slipped a roofie. And he liked it.
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