Over the past few months, our seasoned collection of fan hunters have enjoyed studying the idiosyncrasies of the stadium sign-makers.

Whether it comes in the form of peer acknowledgment or television face time, the development of a well-crafted fan sign has one goal in mind: self-satisfaction. As egocentric as "stadium sign guy" may be, a worthy challenger has been identified.

A few years ago, everyone under the sun heard about the Texas couple who proudly named their firstborn "ESPN". For clarification purposes, it wasn't their firstborn "dog"...rather, their "firstborn human".

Well, that was 2004. Four years later, the once newsworthy fetus is a proud, walking, and talking display of his parents' looniness.

By our experts' account, whoring out your child's name as a means of television face time is way worse than scribbling some words together on a piece of cardboard. Way way worse.

The poor kid. Four years old. If this cute little "ESPN" thinks he has a miserable existence four years old, he should wait to see what his life looks like at 19. It ain't pretty.

[We could neither confirm, nor deny, Chris Rose naming his firstborn son TBDSSP.]