Fan of the Week :: Saving Drunken Wrigley Field Monkeys

Posted by Matt Sebek, April 15, 2008

Every Tuesday, the target subject in the "Fan of the Week" column usually has some oddity or disfunction. Drunk. Mulleted. Tattooed. Extremely large. Retarded. We've covered that ground time and time again.

And, while the fan below certainly qualifies for at least a few of the commonly seen Fan of the Week symptoms, we'd like to divert this week's award away from the obviously drunk Cubs bleacher monkey...and present this week's honors to the brain-trust behind the development of the caged outfield retaining wall at Wrigley Field.

"Retaining outfield cage maker" was so ahead of his time - knowing that the patrons located in the bleachers above would be an eclectic sausagefest of drunken douchbagery. He knew that the surrounding fence probably wouldn't be enough. The Cubs fans have suffered too hard and too long. Sooner or later, someone was going to get tossed overboard.

Our sources tell us that the retard in the cage wasn't sent home for the day by Wrigley security. That makes us smile. There's no punishment equal to walking around a urine-soaked stadium with only one shoe.

Stupid Cubs Fan

Read More: Fan of The Week

Skylar, April 21, 2010 06:04 PM

I think that the caged walls in Wrigley was actually a pretty good idea because when a team hasn't won a World Series since 1908, and hasn't made a World Series appearence since 1945, how do you expect the Wrigleyville fans to react?

joe, November 9, 2009 03:11 PM

thats funny!!

poo, June 21, 2009 05:06 PM

i like th poo

Tim, August 28, 2008 10:08 AM

Hey, that was me in the basket. And for the record i lost BOTH my shoes but got them both back, along with the ball.

I hate Cubs fans. , April 16, 2008 01:04 PM

God, I hate Cubs fansOh yeah, the bleachers are a fun place to "watch" a game. Don't you mean a fun place to drink beer, talk on your cell phones, pour beer on other teams' outfielders, pour beer on fans of other teams, and (most importantly!) get a sun tan?!Can't catch a Soriano warm up ball for at least 15 days!!!!!!!!!! Finally, there aren't any women in the stands because Cubs fans don't like those kind of things. Icky girls. PS. IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

Cubs Fan W/ Inferiority Comple, April 15, 2008 04:04 PM

... is named "OK Morons".

OK Morons, April 15, 2008 03:04 PM

The bleachers at Wrigley are the single most FUN place in all of the MLB to watch a ballgame. This was Opening Day (I was there) SO most of the bleacher fans that were there that day were the hardest-core fans (90%guys) and had also been drinking since 8:00am. Also note that the railing is only waist-high, so if you leaned too far over trying to snatch a Soriano warm-up ball, your feet might lose their footing. Anyone who makes fun of our Bleacher Bums ought to come there for a game sometime. You'll have the time of your life. Stupid crap happens when things get crazy. People know better than to bring their prissy girlfriends and kids to the bleachers for a reason. Go back to your suburban mall of a stadium if you dont like it.

Ryno, April 15, 2008 09:04 AM

That photo is from opening day. Two Cubs fans actually fell into the holding pen. One guy got lifted up before, exposing his ass to the entire stadium. The joker in the photo actually lost both shoes - one fell onto the warning track and the other got stuck in the fence. Plus, the 350 pounds of Cubs fans put a sizeable dent in the fence.

I hate idiots, April 15, 2008 09:04 AM

The It's Gonna Happen is about the World Series...you know, the thing the Cubs haven't won for 100 years.

Mr. Irrelevant, April 15, 2008 07:04 AM

Hey Conspiracist the W stands for a Win you know like the W flag they raise when the Cubs win.

Conspiracist, April 15, 2008 07:04 AM

This appears to be a staged event. Check out the guy just a few feet down from the fallen clown. He's got a shirt on with a huge 'W'. Is that for Wrigley? In the second frame, you can read his sign 'It's Gonna Happen'. It clearly did. The fact that he's holding the sign upside down is clear indication of Murphy's Law.

Sebek, April 15, 2008 06:04 AM

Alonzo, I almost made reference to that exact thing. Forget catching drunkards...it would be a tremendous fan experience to chill out in the baskets for a few innings.

Alonzo Moseley, April 15, 2008 06:04 AM

In the name of all that is greedy, how come the Cubs haven't converted the "drunken retard basket" into seats that they can charge people about $1,500 a pop to sit/lay/vomit in?

Bob Villa, April 15, 2008 05:04 AM

Dammit, Mr. Bob Vila with one "L"....you've been posing as me for years, and I'm getting sick of it. Your beard will never be as thick as mine, and my hammer is wayyy bigger than your's...if you catch my drift.

Bob Vila, April 15, 2008 05:04 AM

I know from experience: moving a brick wall is tough work.

Jason, April 15, 2008 05:04 AM

The cage wasn't added to add more homeruns to the home field. It was added to keep retards like this guy off the field.

Mr. Irrelevant, April 15, 2008 05:04 AM

I second Mark D. Outfield cage maker you're a dumbass. It's not even a point of moving a brick wall. wrigley's a landmark. you cant just tear down the famous brick wall that's been there since 1914 just to move a wall up a couple feet. That was a great way of extending the fence without damaging a landmark.

Mark D, April 15, 2008 04:04 AM

Outfield cage maker: Have you ever tried moving a brick wall? Wrigley has masonry wall, not a "fence." You must have had a losing bid, why else would you be so bitter?

yarilad, April 15, 2008 04:04 AM

Alou isn't even there!

Outfield cage maker, April 15, 2008 04:04 AM

Here's the real scoop. Back in '83, Ol' Wrigley decided the fences were too far back because Ron Cey only had WTP. So I say, "That's cool, let's just move the fences in a few feet". But the cheapass says, "I've got a better idea, let's put a chain-link fence all the way around the outfield at a 45-degree angle. Nothing says class more than chain-link. I mean, we've got the ivy, why not compliment that with some good-ol' fashioned chainlink."Seriously, was it that difficult to move the fences in a few feet? Hell, you could have added more seating out there in the bleachers. I mean, Christ, they have seats atop the Green Monster. I'm pretty sure HOK could figure out how to move the fences in at Wrigley.

Sawx Fan, April 15, 2008 04:04 AM

There are no women in the stands.. they're trying to make it as realistic as possible to the time they last won the World Series!Zing!!

Kyle, April 15, 2008 03:04 AM

Yea, the guy-to-girl ratio is somewhere around 35:1.

Steve Bartman, April 15, 2008 03:04 AM

what a total loser. that has got to be the dumbest incident ever to a occur at Wrigley Field.

Patrick, April 15, 2008 02:04 AM

I spotted 4 females in the bleachers. There are 3 near the end of the right side.

Sebek, April 15, 2008 02:04 AM

bk, nice observation of the headgear. Personally, I was intrigued by the amount of men in the bleachers. Seriously, if you can find 4 women in that picture above, let me know.

bk, April 15, 2008 01:04 AM

I am interested in the sample of bleacher monkey head gear choices. Staring from the right we have what appears to be something with a Superman emblem. Then a red hat with a Cubs "C." Then what appears to be a Spring Training hat with the red trim where the neg-burns go. And finally the quintessential broseph signature: the backwards Miller (Highlife?) visor. Truly fascinating.

ChiTown Steve, April 15, 2008 12:04 AM

Security should have made him stay in the basket for the reamainder of the game as some form of punishment. That would have been awesome.

Jason, April 15, 2008 12:04 AM

What an absolute dumbass. I don't even know how you get yourself into that situation.

FAP FAP FAP, April 14, 2008 06:04 PM

He should've thrown his other shoe onto the field at Moises Alou.