Nearly one year ago, the Media Circus investigated a hunch about the multiple mock drafts entered by ESPN draft experts Todd McShay and Mel Kiper. After careful evaluation, we came to the startling revelation that they really have no clue what's going to happen.

Shocking, we know.

Through three rounds, McShay accurately projected 9.1% of his picks while the veteran Kiper had 10.5% correct. The caveat in those percentages is that Kiper and McShay each accurately projected only 4 selections through picks 7-99 and Kiper didn't get a single selection correct in the 2nd and 3rd rounds.

The realization that our draft gurus are just like the rest of us has forced us to debut our first ever Media Circus mock draft. We simply wanted to go on the record with our picks so that we could see just how expert-like the selections of uninformed bloggers living in their parents' basements can be. We guarantee that out mock draft will differ from the thousands and thousands available online. Let's just say we know that things start to get a little crazy midway through the first round.

Without further adieu...

1. Miami Dolphins - Jake Long, OT
Summary: We have a strong feeling about this one because the Dolphins really need help on the offensive line.

2. St. Louis Rams - Glenn Dorsey, DT
Summary: The Rams already have enough motors on the defensive line.

3. Atlanta Falcons - Matt Ryan, QB
Summary: Ryan can throw and he likes dogs so he'll be an upgrade over past Falcons quarterbacks.

4. Oakland Raiders - Darren McFadden, RB
Summary: If Al Davis could still get it up, we'd say he has a hard-on for 'star players'.

5. Kansas City Chiefs - Branden Albert, OT
Summary: Larry Johnson needs blockers.

6. New York Jets - Vernon Gholston, DE/OLB
Summary: The Jets hate the Patriots.

7. New England Patriots (from SF) - Keith Rivers, LB
Summary: Patriots announce they wanted Rivers all along.

8. Baltimore Ravens - Ryan Clady, OT
Summary: No reason whatsoever.

9. Cincinnati Bengals - Sedrick Ellis, DT
Summary: Still needs seasoning with assaults and rape, but has a bright future.

10. New Orleans Saints - Aqib Talib, CB
Summary: Uhh, Jason David?

11. Buffalo Bills - Devin Thomas, WR
Summary: Still waiting for Josh Reed to blossom.

12. Denver Broncos - Jeff Otah, OT
Summary: Shanahan believes he'll transform into a hell of a tailback.

13. Carolina Panthers - Derrick Harvey, DE
Summary: Mike Rucker is retiring

14. Chicago Bears - Chris Williams, OT
Summary: Recovers quarterback fumbles better than anyone on the board.

15. Detroit Lions - Rashard Mendenhall, RB
Summary: Told Detroit front office he hates Mike Martz.

16. Arizona Cardinals - Leodis McKelvin, CB
Summary: Cool name reminds Bill Bidwell of Leland McElroy

17. Minnesota Vikings - Kenmoore Refrigerator, Appliance
Summary: Huge size should free up Kevin Williams from double teams.

18. Houston Texans - John Mark Carr, Pedophile
Summary: Need someone to rid franchise of memory of David Carr.

19. Philadelphia Eagles - KFC 8 Piece Family Meal, Fast Food
Summary: Andy Reid just dove into his son's stash and is freaking starving.

20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Akeem the African Dream, Wrestler
Summary: Should add some much needed-beef on Gruden's offensive line.

21. Washington Redskins - Rod Tidwell, WR
Summary: Dan Snyder heeds the advice of boyfriend Tom Cruise and avoids the cancer known as Chad Johnson.

22. Dallas Cowboys (from CLE) - Felix Jones, RB
Summary: Jerry Jones has a hard-on for 'star players'.

23. Pittsburgh Steelers - Mike Lavalliere, Catcher ---->
Summary: Steel city welcomes back reliable pass catcher to the delight of Ben Roethlisberger.

24. Tennessee Titans - Remmington Beard and Mustache Trimmer, Hair product
Summary: You don't think Fisher maintains that goatee by chance, do you?

25. Seattle Seahawks - Baconator Cheeseburger, Fast Food
Summary: "MMMM, Bacon."

26. Jacksonville Jaguars - Rave 3X Volumizing Gel Spray, Hair product
Summary: Jack Del Rio has great hair.

27. San Diego Chargers - Virgil, Bodyguard
Summary: Philip Rivers needs protection from opposing fans after road games while traveling to the team bus.

28. Dallas Cowboys - Danica Patrick, Driver
Summary: Jerry Jones still has a hard-on for 'star players'.

29. San Francisco 49ers (from IND) - Red Fronted Gazelle, Animal
Summary: Mike Martz loves speed.

30. Green Bay Packers - DeAnna Favre, Favre
Summary: Damage control move to boost city morale.

New England Patriots - Forfeit
Summary: Filthy, cheating, sloppy bastards.

31. New York Giants - Isiah Thomas, Guard
Summary: Giants need something to trump last season's magical postseason run.

Round 2:

32. Miami - Billy Mays, celebrity pitchman

33. St. Louis - The fat twin on the left moped, Guinness Recold Holder

34. Atlanta (From Oak) - A Yellow Baboon, monkey

35. Kansas City - Hillbilly Jim, icon

36. New York Jets - Mitch "Blood" Green, boxer

37. Atlanta - Thomas from "Kung FU", Nintendo legend

38. Baltimore - Joe Flacco, Delaware

39. San Francisco - Snow, White Rapper

40. New Orleans - the rights to Mel Kiper III

41. Buffalo - Just a random hot chick

42. Denver - Top salesman at John Elway Chevrolet

43. Carolina - Wolf, American Gladiator

44. Chicago - Three packages of Chocodiles

45. Detroit - Zap, Detroit Shock WNBA Mascot

46. Cincinnati - Todd Jones Rookie Card

47. Minnesota - Karl Ravech's toupee

48. Atlanta - A cardboard cutout of Dale Murphy

49. Philadelphia - Darren Daulton, psychopath

50. Arizona - Stump Mitchell

51. Washington - Kool Moe Dee

52. Tampa Bay - Ogre, Alpha Beta

53. Pittsburgh - Jim J. Bullock, Hollywood Square

54. Tennessee - the rights to Bruce Pearl and Pat Summitt's love child

55. Seattle - Clay Bennett's heart

56. Green Bay (from Cle) - The dad from ALF

57. Miami (from SD) - Forfeited (Parcells is such a genius he doesn't need draft picks)

58. Jacksonville - A black quarterback

59. Indianapolis - Peyton Manning Fathead sticker

60. Green Bay - Barbaro

61. Dallas - Galaga Smith, Pacman Jones' cousin

62. New England - CT, Real World/Road Rules Masshole

63. New York Giants - A case of New England "19-0" T-shirts

We're staking our reputation on this mock and are prepared to place it side-by-side with Kiper's and McShay's to see who accurately predicts more picks.

No way they nail that Kool Moe Dee to the Skins pick.