A Collection of Sports' Ugliest...

Posted by Matt Sebek, May 26, 2008

OK! Magazine recently posted their "Top 50 Man Candy of the Year." While every member of the JoeSportsFan staff was excluded from this year's tally, the list was overwhelmed with athletes - including the #1 spot held by LA Galaxy midfielder, David Beckham.

Swimmer Michael Phelps, tennis star Andy Roddick, and Manchester United football star Christiano Ronaldo were some of the other athletes that found themselves on the list.

Yes, athletes are "man candy". Big surprise. They have fame, fortune, and are usually in tremendous shape. Add a full set of teeth and a nice haircut, and you've got yourself a premium piece of professional ass.

But, that's easier said than done. For every David Beckham, there's a Willie McGee. For every Derek Jeter, there's a Randy Johnson. For every piece of man candy, there's a piece of man...um, turd.

Take a gander, as we raise our glasses to the less-fortunate ones...

Read More: Worthless Card Collection

Greg Oden, December 27, 2009 10:12 PM

There is an ugly athlete tourniment on FTRsports.com ever monday

DZ, January 10, 2009 05:01 AM

Wow...I hope whoever wrote this feels so much better about themselves, now that they've made fun of people for things that are totally out their control.by the way, all these guys above probably get laid with better looking women than 99% of men on earth

shut the hell up, November 3, 2008 12:11 PM

why dont you guys shut the hell up u dont know any of these people SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!

JH, November 1, 2008 01:11 PM

Nice list! i definitely agree with some thats on your listi have compiled my own list of top 6... http://jib-sports-culture.blogspot.com/2008/11/scariest-looking-athlete.html

afraidofedhochuli, May 29, 2008 08:05 AM

Holy crap...I may have peed a little when reading McGee...

Bernie Brewer, May 28, 2008 12:05 PM

Whoops!...BRICKowski...AKA "Der Brick," at least that's what it said on the FedEx package containing over a pound of pot that he received shortly before his NBA career ended.

Bernie Brewer, May 28, 2008 12:05 PM

C'mon, you guys LOVE poking fun at the '82 Brewers...an entire team of uglies...Caldwell, Vukovich...Gorman?!! Also, what about former Bucks pothead Frank Brikowski?!!!

scratch, May 28, 2008 11:05 AM

i have an aunt that looks like mike ricci. kids stay of the crack

scratch, May 28, 2008 11:05 AM

have you forgot about greg oden i've seen better looking people w/ down-syndrome

Your Mom, May 28, 2008 06:05 AM

Should do a top 7 list for 'Guys with jim Leyritz Disease' - Polanco fits right in with that massive gum chewing temples..

Popeye Jones, May 27, 2008 03:05 PM

What about me? I look like Sloth from the Goonies

Popeye, May 27, 2008 03:05 PM

Come on, no love for Greg "Cadillac" Anderson?Dude looks like he took a Cadillac to the face.

ToodSteak, May 27, 2008 02:05 PM

Two Words. Otis. Nixon.

Scott Brosius, May 27, 2008 01:05 PM

So third basemen who resemble Kentucky Derby-winning horses aren't ugly enough for you?

Pete Incaviglia, May 27, 2008 01:05 PM

You mentioned the '93 Phillies and didn't list me? I need some chaw like NOW!!!

How do you spell retard?, May 27, 2008 01:05 PM

Is there a special section for Placido Polanco's head? Uggghhhh.

Rob in the 'Ville, May 27, 2008 12:05 PM

C'mon! The 86 Celtics! Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, Dennis Johnson (RIP), and Robert Parish all on one team. That should be your starting lineup right there. DJ was a black man with FRECKLES!!!

Jason , May 27, 2008 10:05 AM

Nowitski has a bit of Skeletor in him as well.

Badsin, May 27, 2008 08:05 AM

Tyrone Hill = Skeletor

Sebek, May 27, 2008 07:05 AM

McGee has been corrected. Stupid English. It sure would have been a safer bet going with my gut instinct of "crack" and "head".

JB, May 27, 2008 07:05 AM

I think TF is probably referring to the misspelling of "creepy" and "janitor". Good thing we don't have an editor here at JSF.

Rafterman, May 27, 2008 07:05 AM

Looks like we have to put you up for the Congressional Medal of .....UGLY!! Hardcore man, fucking hardcore.

Mr. Irrelevant, May 27, 2008 07:05 AM

TF you never had a creepy janitor is grade school? the one who you would catch ocasionally eating a kids leftover lunch and knew he had several dead bodies buried in his yard. Once again though this is great post lets hope GMT doesnt try to steal this one.

TF, May 27, 2008 07:05 AM

Great list, but Willie McGee would like to know what the hell a Creppy Janiter is.

jeremy, May 27, 2008 06:05 AM

what about julian tavarez?

Mr. Irrelevant, May 27, 2008 05:05 AM

Ohhh and you can't forget Jack Lambert. Great football player, hideous man.

Mr. Irrelevant, May 27, 2008 05:05 AM

Aww Man that shit almost made me pee in my pants. There definitly has to be a 2nd edition. And you have to include Charlie Villanueva, Bobby Kielty, George Muresan, Sam Cassel and ofcourse his brother Popeye Jones.

Sebek, May 27, 2008 04:05 AM

Great suggestions. There will definitely be a Round 2. There's a lot of ugly m.f.'ers out there. Rich m.f. 'ers.

Mark D, May 27, 2008 04:05 AM

@SMK: Good call on the '93 Phillies. Morandini is arguably the ugliest Phillie of all time.

Sam Cassell, May 27, 2008 04:05 AM

Thanks for leaving me off of this list

SMK, May 27, 2008 03:05 AM

no all-ugly team is complete without a representative of the 1927 Yankees of ugly, the 1993 Phillies. How gross? Curt Schilling was one of the good-looking Phils. John Kruk, Lenny Dykstra, Mitch Williams, Mickey Morandini, David West, Jim Eisenreich... the parade of homeliness through that locker room still frightens even the most seasoned of beat reporters.

Valuev...the Gorila, May 27, 2008 03:05 AM

Yes, in fact I am an UNSHAVEN gorilla FTW

Patrick, May 27, 2008 03:05 AM

Otis was definitely the master of scaring the opponent. I think his face was made of clay... he resembled the villain from Raiders of the Lost Ark whose face melts.

Otis Nixon, May 27, 2008 03:05 AM

Hey, what about me?!

Brent, May 27, 2008 02:05 AM

Where is Turnbow in all this mess???

Jason, May 27, 2008 02:05 AM

Boxing isn't a sport.

JS, May 26, 2008 11:05 PM

Actually, he looks like an unshaved gorilla.

andy80, May 26, 2008 08:05 PM

what about that russian boxer who looks like a shaved gorilla???