We know the whole Buzz Bissinger thing was a month ago, but we can’t help but to think back to it whenever we see crap like this video from Yahoo Sports.

For those who haven’t seen it, Kobe Bryant and Nike released another viral video, this time featuring Bryant and members of the Jackass crew from MTV.  Instead of jumping over a car like he did last time, Kobe takes a leap over a swimming pool filled with snakes to lay down a dunk that is about as realistic as this.

Viewers of the video realize it’s fake, bloggers realize its fake, little kids who are trying to convince their parents to spend $150 on the shoes realize it’s fake.  

The guys at Los Angeles TV station, KCAL 9? They’re not so sure.  

In fact, they were curious enough to ask Kobe about it four times during a courtside interview.  Yahoo found their interview hard hitting enough to put it up as a headline on their front page:

That intense journalism “training” that Buzz and the rest of the mainstream media frequently refer too?  This is what they’re talking about.  Training that allows these schooled professionals to stick a microphone in an athlete’s grill and either a.) pretend not to realize that humans can’t jump over swimming pools to dunk a basketball or b.) be just plain dumb enough not to realize that humans can’t jump over swimming pools to dunk a basketball.  
It’s that classical education that makes a journalist innately dig for more information with questions like…

“Those guys that were jumping in the pool of snakes, were they just idiots or nuts?”

Either way, the sports world is definitely reaping the rewards of dishing out press passes to these fellas. 

Crap that actually came from somebody's mouth
"We don't know what the Wilpons -- who once saw the Bobby Valentine/Steve Phillips chasm freeze-frame their franchise -- can do here, or whether a Pedro Martinez comeback will restore the real Jose Reyes and give the Mets back their swagger." - Peter Gammons

Nothing wrong with this quote - give or take that magical creature swagger - but we really wish we could be a fly on the wall when an arrogant Steve Phillips confronts Gammons about "freezing the franchise" at the next ESPN holiday party. 
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"We knew (J.R. Towles) wasn't as good as the 8 RBI game he showed last year." - Al Hrabosky

Yes, that's because to think otherwise would land Towles with 1296 RBI in one season.  Thanks, Mad Hungarian.
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"It's only a bad move if you fail to get the next guy out." - Hrabosky, on intentional walks

At this point, the Cardinals could replace Hrabosky with an Ozzie Virgil Starting Lineup figure and the broadcasts wouldn't miss a beat.

The Top 5 Stupidest Quotes in Jemele Hill’s Column

When Page 2’s Jemele Hill penned a recent article crafting bizarre arguments in an attempt to make a case for why the NBA needed a Pistons-Spurs final instead the seemingly more exciting Lakers-Celtics option, we figured the only way to truly do it justice was to rank the stupidity that was littered throughout the piece. 

5.) As an NBA fan, there is nothing more irritating than when the league's credibility is challenged by cockamamy conspiracy theories. The biggest NBA conspiracy theory going right now is that the league is trying to make a Boston-L.A. Finals happen, because it would mean insane television ratings and a return to the time when the dominance of those two franchises overshadowed everything else in sports. .. But if it's Pistons-Spurs, the NBA Finals will be conspiracy-free. 

Once we saw that the premise of the column was that the Pistons-Spurs would be better than a much-hyped Lakers-Celtics series not because it would be the superior series, rather because it would be “conspiracy-free”, we probably should have just stopped reading.  

4.) If you love teams that win because of their commitment to team basketball, root for Pistons-Spurs.

Hasn’t the entire season for the Celtics been a testament to setting aside ones ego for a larger cause?  If we’re not mistaken, the trio of Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce even appeared on ESPN The Magazine’s cover with that very concept in mind (On November 5, 2007 to be exact).

3.) If you're sick of seeing basketball dominated by And-1 wannabes, root for Pistons-Spurs.

Rumor has it that Kobe Bryant tried out for the And-1 tour but got smoked by The Professor and didn’t make the cut.  Seriously, Jemele, at no point when you were comparing the freaking Celtics and the Lakers to And-1 did you stop to think this might be a bit ridiculous?  

2.) If you're someone who grumbles that NBA players don't play defense, you should root for Pistons-Spurs (although Boston may play the best defense of the remaining playoff teams).

Keep in mind that parenthesis was all Jemele, meaning that she concedes that the Celtics are the best defensive team in the playoffs, but still somehow manages to make an argument that if you’re a fan of defense you should root for the series that will guarantee that said team is eliminated.  Makes perfect sense.    

1.) I anticipate the crybabies will complain that the Spurs and Pistons are boring to watch …The ones who claim they love underdogs, but won't give the Pistons or Spurs a chance….

This is where she cranks up the crazy a notch to fit the column agenda.  Those fans who love underdogs, should be rooting for the defending champions to face a team that Hill herself describes later in the column as “maybe the closest thing the Eastern Conference has had to a dynasty since Jordan's Bulls.”

Perhaps, as crazy as it sounds, the concept of a Finals that pits a team that was dead last in the NBA in 2007 versus a team that was ousted in the first round of the playoffs a year ago, is the matchup those fans who want to see underdogs are pulling for.  Just so happens that those teams are named the Celtics and the Lakers.

Report: Phil Niekro Unimpressed with Karl Ravech's Glove

Our sources inform us Ravech sports a Jody Reed Wilson 2nd Base mit. 

Keith Hernandez Pretty Sure Gary Carter Should Stay Out of the Dugout
For various reasons, we're fond of Keith Hernandez.  Not only did he sport an afro and mustache in his heyday, he also sported our hometown powder blue for the '82 World Series champs.  Plus, he's arguably one of the best defensive 1st Basemen of all time, he appeared in the original RBI Baseball and guest-starred in classic Seinfeld episodes. 

And then a little over two years ago, Hernandez voiced his displeasure with a female physical therapist sitting in the Padres dugout.  While we don't condone or hold similar feelings, the over-the-top nature of the comments were  humorous in that shocking kind of way:

"Who is the girl in the dugout, with the long hair?  What's going on here? You have got to be kidding me. Only player personnel in the dugout... I won't say that women belong in the kitchen, but they don't belong in the dugout."

"You know I am only teasing. I love you gals out there -- always have."

Safe to say that when Hernandez opined on former teammate Gary Carter's announcement that he's "willing" to take over as Mets manager, we weren't disappointed in the severity of Hernandez's reaction:

"I have great respect for Gary as a player.  He's a Hall of Famer. When Johnny Bench left the game, he was the premier catcher in the National League.  But that being said, and I've kept quiet for such a long time, but for the people out there listening, just go in the dictionary and look up 'unconscious' and you'll find a picture of Gary Carter.  I know that's strong, but it just happens too many times and it's just, you're walking around unconscious."

For the record, we looked up "unconscious" and realized Hernandez was wrong as this picture appeared.  Perhaps Gary could join some time and enjoy a sit-down dinner. 

Bob Carpenter Memorial Snappy Line
As hard as it might be to believe, the Bobber is a big fan of music.  Anything involving Bette Midler, Gladys Knight, the Righteous Brothers and Pat Boone can turn the biggest of frowns on a rainy day completely upside down. 

That's why Bobby was very excited when a snappy submission via ESPN anchor Robert Flores came across his email desk with the subject "snappy music line".  Unfortunately, this artist's rendition of a highlight call of a Web Gem didn't fulfill all of the Carpenter requirements. 

"Carlos Gomez: he is the gangster of glove."

Is it snappy?  Absolutely.  But if there's one thing Robert C. detests, it's a song filled with drug and sex innuendo.  Steve Miller sang about being a smoker and midnight toker among other things, and that's never good for the kids.  If Carlos Gomez had lost or gained that "Glovin' Feeling", it would have been a unanimous two thumbs-up.  As it stands, he gets a goose egg. 

The Media Circus is written by Josh Bacott and Patrick Imig.  They swear this stuff is real.  Email them at info@joesportsfan.com