JoeSportsFan

These days, young athletes growing up with vision problems can look to corrective laser surgery for relief, or simply stick little pieces of plastic on their eyeballs to solve the problem.  That wasn't always the case. 

Years ago, the near and far-sighted struggled with their dilemma.  Would their dreams of being a professional sports star be swept aside simply because they couldn't read the giant 'E' on the eye chart?  They needed a hero.  A leader who could bring them together as one and instill in them the confidence to achieve their dreams despite looking like they would be more at home at a comic book convention than on a baseball field. 

That leader was Tom Henke.  His weapon of choice was a 90+ mph fastball and a $15 pair of glasses from Pearl Vision.  He made people believe that four eyes really were better than two.  If your corneas tried to puss out on playing sports, Henke was there to call them out. 

And like any great leader, he had an army behind him.  It's time to meet Henke's newest recruits.



As always, before the recruits, we pay our respects to the leaders of the Army...

HAHenke2.jpg

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HASabo2.jpg

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HASheridan2.jpg

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HAMulliniks.jpg

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HAPorter.jpg

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HANorris.jpg

The new blood...

HABergman.jpg

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HABernard.jpg

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HABoston.jpg

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HADavid.jpg

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HASakata.jpg

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HAjones.jpg

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HATekulve.jpg

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HAThornton.jpg

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HATunnell.jpg

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HAVenable.jpg

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HAWilson.jpg

Don't let your eyes be a hindrance.  Make General Henke proud. 

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Tom Henke's Army: The New Blood
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Mike Norris, September 28, 2008 07:09 PM
I keep Bitches in line, and Lee Tunnel keeps the young boys in line.
Nancy Lopez, July 29, 2008 04:07 AM
I thought no pictures existed of my tenure with the Orioles.
dude, July 25, 2008 07:07 PM
Mike Norris' "Keeping bitches in line" is simply a classic.
joe, July 25, 2008 03:07 AM
he gets it...great article.
jake, July 25, 2008 01:07 AM
Not funny. The pictures and concept are great...could have been much better.
Rob in L'ville, July 25, 2008 12:07 AM
Boers and Bernstein WSCR in Chicago were going crazy about this article today. That said that you "get it" when it comes to the absurdity of professional sports.
mp, July 24, 2008 06:07 PM
Sgt. Dave Bergman has access to the internet, and as evidenced two comments earlier, he is pissed.
nature boy, July 24, 2008 04:07 PM
congrats....this column was discussed on wscr the score in chicago today...they loved it!
Tommie Cruz, July 24, 2008 12:07 PM
I am a a "Cub" hatter and waiting for them to fall apart GO BREWERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Patrick, July 24, 2008 05:07 AM
Daryl Boston definitely likes him some ghetto booty.
Josh, July 24, 2008 02:07 AM
Those "Rainbow Pride" 80's Astro uniforms are pretty awful too. They're the reasong why half of Tom Henke's army needed glasses
JB, July 24, 2008 02:07 AM
I think the Pirates would have like 6 of the 7, with the White Sox "shorts" uniform probably taking the top spot.
Jay, July 23, 2008 11:07 PM
Has JSF done a top 7 worst uniforms of all time? Those 70's or 80's Pirate ones brutal.

Floyd Rayford

In 1988, the Baltimore Orioles were forced to revert to traditional uniform pants when the button on Floyd Rayford's elastic waist band rocketed into the crowd and injured three fans.

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