Every single group of people needs a fat kid or guy in it.  Smart, savvy, successful movie producers know this, and most of them recognize it by including fat kids in their movies. The results are some of the greatest sports films ever made.  Those that don’t are surely hurt by it, and it’s what separates the good from the unbelievable.  This week’s Top 7 pays tribute to those fat characters that make these movies what they are—modern classics.

7. Engleberg, Bad News Bears

Engleberg enjoyed some nice fried chicken. There is no better fried chicken than Popeye’s chicken.  They have even gotten classier in the last few years…if you go to any of their newer establishments, it’s actually half-nice in there.  That’s actually kind of a drawback because part of the Popeye’s mystique was its trashiness.  Anyways, as far as this movie goes, it was kind of ruined by the absolutely-beyond-atrocious remake that they had a few years back with Billy Bob Thornton.  Horrific.

6. Russ, Mighty Ducks 2

They were challenged to play street hockey and Russ hit them up with his Knuckle Puck, the unstoppable shot, and ended up joining the team as a result (with "Whoomp!  There It Is" playing in the background).  Russ' skills were not refined, but he got by on raw talent and street smarts, thereby becoming the token fat kid and the token black kid all in one.

5. Fat Kid, The Monster Squad

If you think that chasing Fish Man, Dracula, and the Wolf Man is not a sport, you would be very incorrect.  Fat Kid plays a huge role in this film: taking out the Fish Man, threatening an older kid with a shotgun if he doesn’t call him by his real name Horace (also an underrated name) and discovering that Wolf Man has “nards” (also an underrated name for one’s sack).

4. Chunk, Goonies

Yup, you can’t mention Fat Kid from Monster Squad without including Chunk, who was blatantly ripped off by Fat Kid.  Actually, without Goonies, there’s probably no Monster Squad altogether, so fine.  Chunk is in.  It is possible that Chunk is the most influential movie character of the past 25 years, Daniel LaRusso notwithstanding.

3. Lewis Lastik, Remember the Titans

He was responsible for bonding the Titans together when they weren’t getting along too well.  The Temptations have a way with that.  It is also possible that the little girl from the movie could coach better than roughly five or six head coaches of NFL teams.

2. Ham, The Sandlot

He’s one of the greatest trash-talkers in sports movie history, even if he was doing so against fellow ten-year olds.  He also became the first person in baseball history to hit a home run, the one against the rich club team, that actually traveled backwards off the bat.  If you haven’t seen Sandlot recently or in the neighborhood of 200 times, I apologize for such an obscure reference.  But it’s true.

1. Chubby, Teen Wolf

His “shoot it, fat boy!” shot against Mick was one of the greatest clutch baskets in the history of the sport.  He also was a tremendous rebounder and revolutionized the technique for future generations.  You could almost include the actor; Mark Holton’s role as the “Hey!  It’s Enrico Pollatzo!” guy from Naked Gun as a sports movie fat guy in the event you have any arguments about him being #1.   It’s a wonder that no real basketball player ever followed Scott Howard’s lead and jumped on teammates’ backs after they made good plays.  It is good for team chemistry.

The Top 7 is written by Jason Major. He will be suspended one list without  pay for failing to include Billy Bob from Varsity Blues. Email him at jason@joesportsfan.com