The most interesting aspect to preseason football isn't the meaningless games, it's the barrage of exaggerated praise from coaches and players about their fellow teammates. The guys who are practicing on "such a high level", "really making an impression" and "may just end up in the starting lineup".

As we did last year, we once again enjoy the verbal fruits that describe some under-the-radar talents looking to make a name for themselves. It isn't an attempt to rain on the underdog players' parade; rather, it's to point out that everything NFL coaches and players speak should be taken with a grain of salt (unless Chad Johnson speaks ... then you need pay attention because he's so freaking intelligent).

A scan of last year's column and we realize this here guy was in the right by making fun of Gerald McRaneyBrad Childress and Minnesota  for paying tight end Visanthe Shicancoe more than $5 to catch the football. Shiancoe finished the year with 27 catches and one touchdown.  Likewise for Joey Harrington believing his receivers were the best he's ever played with in Atlanta and ditto for the Bears endorsing Kyle Orton. Oddly enough, Orton is the starter this year and didn't begin the '07 season as such. In the interest of fairness, Ken Whisenhunt and the Cardinals did have a much-improved offensive line, so his comments about the O-line gelling in training camp were accurate.

No coach made a bigger splash in last year's compliment factory than the one and only Mike Martz. As he put it ...

"We've spent a great deal of time so far in the running game.  I think Tatum's (Bell) really stood out, as has Brian Calhoun. Real pleased with the running game and what we're trying to do."

"Tatum (Bell) right now is a different level.  He's better than I thought he'd be.  He's the whole package. ... He's got so much juice to him. He can go. He's taken our offense and learned it so well. He doesn't make any mistakes. He's catching the ball extremely well. He's playing at such a high level right now."

"Jon's (Kitna) far enough along, we could start tomorrow.  He's playing at such a high, high level. We're trying to be careful with him. When other guys are all (aware) of protections and routes and we're just working through those things ... there's just nothing you can give him that he can't do right now."

I don't even need to explain why those comments are comedy gold.

Naturally, we begin this year's compliments with the new offensive coordinator of the 49ers.

"I have my players give my compliments for me" compliment

Late last week, the 49ers announced JT O'Sullivan as the team's starting quarterback. He's 29 and never started an NFL game. He came with Mike Martz from Detroit, while Isaac Bruce came from Martz's previous home in St. Louis.

“He does have really good accuracy and he fits well into the scheme of things. You have to be doing things really good to be the leader of a Mike Martz offense.” - Isaac Bruce

Interestingly, Martz more or less ordained JT as the starter when he was acquired for the veteran's minimum back in March.

"(O'Sullivan) is capable of being a starter in this league. He's not a reliever, if you will. He's not a backup. He'll take full advantage of (the competition). He's a very fierce competitor."

I'm not doubting O'Sullivan's desire, but it's just hilarious that he's the starter. It was nothing, if not predictable. That's not to say he shouldn't be the starter, either. Alex Smith sucks and O'Sullivan's stats have been vastly superior to both he and Shaun Hill this preseason. The fan in me wants to see him succeed and wants Martz to succeed. Even though he blew his "dynastic" opportunities with the Rams, I've always liked Martz, perhaps because I've felt sorry for him. He's his own best friend and worst enemy (for a fun history lesson in Martz quotes, click here). 

The 49ers have involved themselves in an epic storyline. The rejected maverick-coach rides into town with a chip on his shoulder and brings with him his angry, castoff quarterback whom he tutored. The two are joined by an aging wide receiver bitter about the way he was let go from his lifelong employer. All three are cut from the same cloth with one goal in mind. This is the last chance for Martz and he's already determined he'll go out with guns blazing - one way or another.  

That's certainly more interesting than anything that's transpired in San Francisco the past 6 years.

PS: With no O'Sullivan in Detroit, the Lions have recently signed Drew Henson. BWAAAAAAAAAAAH!
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"I'm on hardcore freebase narcotics resulting in severe delusions of grandeur" self-compliment

Speaking of the Lions, their rookie running back Kevin Smith is dreaming BIG.

"If I can come in and we can win the Super Bowl, that'll mean more than anything thus far in my life up to this point. For us not to have been in the playoffs for a little bit of time now and for us to go straight to a Super Bowl my rookie year? You can't ask for anything else."

Shut up, Kevin. Idiot.
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"We have no other options at wide receiver so I'll talk from my ass" compliment

The Bears had a sour off-season in the field of wide receivers. Bernard Berrian signed a huge deal with the Vikings and Mushin Muhammad returned to Carolina. That leaves, ahem, Rashied Davis as a focal point of the passing game. Lovie Smith is down with that.

"He had an outstanding camp to start with. He just became a new dad, so a lot of outstanding things are happening in his life. It's good to see a guy come up big like that."

Davis has 49 career catches in 44 games, including a balmy 17 last season. While Lovie believes in Rashied, Rashied isn't exactly, um, sure.

"I was told by a couple of the players that I need to be one of the leaders in the receiver room, so that's where my focus kind of changed. If I don't know where I'm going, how the (heck) am I going to help somebody else?"

That's a great sign for Kyle Orton and the rest of the Bears vertical offense. For the record, I'm a leader of this Web site. I was told by a couple of the other writers that I need to be one of the leaders in the laptop room, so that's where my focus is.
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 "I'm a believer because he's desperate and I'm smoking some of his ganja" compliment

Ricky Williams is vying for a leg-up on Ronnie Brown in this, his 432nd return from drug suspension or injury. His veteran teammates are confident Ricky will get the job done, especially Vonnie Holliday.

"This year, he's shown me he's recommitted and focused on becoming one of the elite backs again."

"He showed me that recommitment when he packed that bowl air-tight." Since Vonnie kind of looks like Ricky, I'm thinking he might have joined Williams' yoga cult. Agent Leigh Steinberg is pretty sure Ricky will be an All-Pro as well.

"Ricky has found a profound sense of inner peace through his yoga and zen practice. He is a 31-year-old running back with a 25-year-old body that has avoided major wear and tear, and at 231 pounds and sprinter speed. Let the NFL beware."

If his agent speaketh so, Vonnie must be on to something. It's not that I don't believe in Williams' talent, it's just that whole drug thing that will likely pop up. Well that and the fact that Ricky says he has to quiet the "doubts" in his mind. I'd love to hear what those doubts sound like.
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"We have no other options at wide receiver so I'll talk from my ass" compliment II 

Much like the Bears, the Seahawks are in a bind with very little at the receiver position. Unlike the Bears, it's due to injuries. Deion Branch and Bobby Engram are both on the shelf, leaving Nate Burleson as the only current starter with more than 15 catches last season.

Luckily, Courtney Taylor and Ben Obamanu are available for a starting role, per Mike Holmgren.

"I want to see Courtney touch the ball, Ben touch the ball. I think they're just as capable. We have to sort that out, so we're going to kind of try and force-feed that just a little bit to see how we're going to line up the first game."

Really Mike? Both "just as capable"? Why don't you save the team some cash and get rid of Branch and Engram and start Courtney and Ben? Then you'll allow people like Chris Berman can make funny jokes about how Ben Obamanu sounds a lot like Barack Obama.
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"If you can't ride a roller coaster, you're better than everyone else" compliment

Sticking with the Seahawks, rookie running back Justin Forsett is built in the mold of Maurice Jones Drew. Since he's not getting any taller, the coaching staff has unleashed some unbelievable mini-hyperbole. Sayeth special teams coach Bruce DeHaven ... 

"I told somebody one time, if they started a league called the Backyard League, where you threw a football into the backyard and you let guys choose up teams and make their own rules and play football, the first two guys I would choose on my team are Steve Tasker and Doug Flutie."

Call me crazy, but if I was starting a league called the Backyard league, I'd probably choose LaDainian Tomlinson and Tom Brady before Tasker and Flutie -- but maybe that's why I'm not an NFL coach. DeHaven isn't done with his praise of the short men.

“They know how to play the game – probably because they are small they have been forced to figure out ways to be good. They don’t need somebody to tell them what to do; they would figure it out. They would be inventive, creative, and be two of the best players in that league. And I think Justin is a little like that.”

It almost sounds like "they" are their own breed of species. Offensive line coach Mike Solari likens them to the creatures we often kill with RAID.

“In a sense, you can’t see them. They are so quick and yet they are explosive."

Look for one of these little creatures to be competing for a starting job with the Seahawks come September ... ...