Imagine our old friend Mark Schlereth cruising through the aisles of the local pharmacy looking to grab a new stick of deodorant.  You'd have to assume that a man's man like him needs some powerful under arm protection - after all, he's under the hot lights of the studio all day and he's not like these modern day nancies who takes a razor to his pit hair. 

This is, after all, a guy that was nicknamed "Stink" his entire career.  

So what does he go for?  Some of the industrial strength anti-perspirant that basically puts a vacuum seal on your pits?  Maybe he tries out the brands made by Adidas or one of the other sporting goods companies that have entered the market?  This is not a light decision, people.  When he's on the mock field showing people the intricacies of cut blocking during NFL Live the last thing anyone wants to see is pit stains. 

And then suddenly, a bright light emerges from the shelves.  Something is drawing him towards it as if it was made specifically for his Stink. 

Somehow a company has managed to harness the most elusive quality in sports, one that ensures domination in every athletic endeavor and squeeze it into a stick of deodorant.  It's what successful teams ooze and crappy teams desperately want.  We're talking of course of Swagger.



That's not a photoshop.  Old Spice Red Zone  has pushed their football-branded product line to another level by engaging in painstaking scientific experimentation to discover the exact scent of Swagger and releasing it to the public (less than a year after releasing Tony Stewart body wash, no less).  Your pits will never be so intimidating. 

Naturally, if they've got a deodorant scent called Swagger, it's really only a matter of time before they take the next logical steps.  Rather than waiting, we'll just go ahead and do it for them...



I've always thought my pit hair was scrappy.