While the world of sports journalism has undergone a significant transformation over the past decade, there are some things that have stubbornly refused to go away. And we're not just talking about Jay Mariotti.

The location of their words may be in the process of moving from newsprint to cyberspace, but it has not deterred one of the most defining elements of print media from prospering - the columnist photo.
It would stand to reason that the content of the article itself would be the primary influence on the reader's opinion, but that little photo next to the byline always seems to manipulate the reader just enough to alter their expectations. If the guy writing the column is a big, jovial man with an ear-to-ear smile, you're probably going to have a less visceral reaction to him calling out your team. If the guy writing the column looks like he's just been caught in the middle of a ten-state crime spree, then you're probably going to assume he's looking for trouble.
If a columnist
happens to be carrying a sledge hammer for no apparent reason, chances are the reader is going to spend their time trying to figure out why in the hell the columnist is carrying a sledge hammer.
With so much riding on that little photo, what is an influential sports voice supposed to do? Turns out there are several notable strategies for the photo that have been executed to perfection by some in the industry. Take notes, columnists...
Strategy #1 - Show a Little Personality
Let the readers see a little personality, people. And how do you do that via a photo before they've read a word of your writing? When in doubt, wear something that makes you look wacky - perhaps a cowboy hat or Hawaiian shirt - or maybe just look into the camera and shrug your shoulders like a moron.
Tracy Ringolsby - Rocky Mountain News
Jim Armstrong - Denver Post
Ray Ratto - Sportsline.com
Strategy #2 - Make them Fear You
Sure the readers may not be a frequent target of the columnist's sharp words, but that doesn't mean the columnist can't demonstrate to them just how much of a badass he really is. If readers are skeptical as to whether he has the balls to stand in a locker room and ask the tough questions, they need only to take one look in these eyes to know that it's the athletes who should be afraid. Anyone of these guys could reveal themselves as government assassins posing as sports columnists and it wouldn't shock me one iota.
Dan Caesar - St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Jeff Jacobs - Hartford Courant
Rick Sadowski - Rocky Mountain News
Strategy #3 - Go the Glamour Shots Route
Forget the standard $10-an-hour hack that the paper is hiring for head shots, these guys need to bring in the big boys if they want eyeballs on those columns. They need the camera man that is going to produce the kind of pic that will look as natural on the byline of a major newspaper as it would on the pages of a high school yearbook.
Gordon Monson - Salt Lake Tribune
Allen Wilson - Buffalo News
Rick Hurd - Contra Costa-Times
Strategy #4 - Go Retro
Still undecided as to the type of photo to attach to your words? You can never go wrong making it look like an album cover in 1972. Trust me.
Nick Horvath - The Harrisburg Patriot-News
Thom Loverro - Washington Times
Strategy #5 - Go Even More Retro
If the album cover route doesn't do it for you, roll it back a little further. Perhaps break out a look made famous by a certain 19th century American president...
George Vecsey - New York Times
Strategy #6 - Work for the New York Daily News
If all else fails and you just can't figure out the best way to develop a little chemistry between your words and your all-important columnist photo, there are two options 1.) don't have a picture at all and 2.) go to work for the New York Daily News.
Simply put, the Daily News does it better than anyone else. Take a look at their all-star roster of toupees, face-masks, Civil War era mustaches and Mike Lupicas...
Dick Weiss - NY Daily News
Bob Raismann - NY Daily News
Mitch Lawrence - NY Daily News
Filip Bondy - NY Daily News
Mike Lupica - NY Daily News
The Slammer - NY Daily News
Choose your picture wisely sports columnists of America, for your readers will be watching.