We present this morning's ceremonial bratwurst to San Francisco pitcher, Barry Zito. You're probably wondering what in the hell Barry Zito accomplished in early December to earn a piping hot wiener.

Well, the Giants are the latest team to enter the CC Sabathia sweepstakes...and if history is any lesson, Barry Zito is the the happiest man in California right now. With any luck, the Giants will entice the Southern Californian Sabathia by throwing a bunch of money at him, and then serve as a career-plummeting-vehicle.

Zito is signed for $18mil/year through 2013 and has a no-trade clause.

This obtuse franchise bottleneck could take a back seat when/if Sabathia's new $20mil per year doesn't exactly work out as planned.



December 10

1817 - Mississippi becomes the 20th US State. 152 years later it repays America by giving us this.

1971 - The Mets trade Nolan Ryan to the Angels for 3B Jim Fregosi. Ryan would go on to strike out 5,714 batters in a Hall of Fame career while Fregosi hit .232 with five homers and 32 RBI in 1972. Remarkably, Steve Phillips was not responsible.

1995 - Darren Robinson aka The Human Beatbox from the Fat Boys, dies and leaves behind the movie Disorderlies as his unmatched legacy.

2008 - Scorned Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich celebrates the crappiest birthday of his life.



Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich / Mark Gastineau



Maybe its just the hair.



There are so many awesome things about this photo, we don't know where to start. Let's re-convene after the photo. Give it time to settle.



First off - the disapproving referee. He actually seems more displeased with the sluggish security guard than the actions of the streaker. We're cool with that.

Our fan hunters notably enjoyed the well-kept jeans and clean sneakers on this malcontent. You put a polo on this man, and he could be your boss. But he's *not* your boss, and he *isn't* wearing a polo shirt. He's shirtless, taunting, and also wearing a mobile device on his belt. That's a recipe for awesome.



Monday night, the WWE presented their most prestigious awards show, the Slammys. Because of the momentous return, we look back to the Slammy Awards of the mid-80s, when Vince McMahon was just the broadcaster ... and a perverted singer. Don't ever tell us Macho Man can't play the trumpet.

In the span of one Media Circus column, the Circus staffers make fun of, agree with and sympathize with those we collectively identify as the mainstream media. Crazy world in sports these days, we say.

With the recent retirement of former rookie Cubs mustachioid Greg Maddux, and another promising Cubby season ending in disappointment, we ponder the Mustache Factor. Just know that Andre Dawson, Bill Buckner and Steve Stone get their just due.