“There are countless ways of attaining greatness, but any road to reaching one's maximum potential must be built on a bedrock of respect for the individual, a commitment to excellence, and a rejection of mediocrity.  I just read that out of a quotes dictionary and had the guys put it in the teleprompter because I thought it was cool.  But at the end of the day, there are many roads to greatness and that quote is great.” – Emmitt Smith

Patriots' Greatness Will Be Defined by Legacy of Greatness
Tom Brady is great. 

Randy Moss is great. 

Bill Belichick is great. 

(pause)

Tedy Bruschi is great. 

(short pause)

The only aspect of the New England Patriots that isn't great is the thought process of a Patriots player attempting to execute something which isn't great.  And what happens when the train of great thought derails?  You lose greatness.  You are no longer great.  But the Patriots don’t have that problem because they eat, sleep, drink and breathe great.  Just as Brett Favre patented the law of fun, the artist New England Patriots have copyrighted greatness. 

Greatness is something that you are not entitled to.  It isn't something that is given away to any random entity.  Nor is it a privilege.  It isn't even something that is earned. 

Greatness is something that is attainable, but only if you are great.  How great do you want to be?  Or do you even want to be great at all?  Would it be great if I stopped talking great?  Is it because you’re afraid of being great, or is all this talk of greatness grating?

The bottom line is that if you were to take every jar in the world and fill each with greatness, it would not equal the greatness emanating from that New England Patriots locker room.  When you talk Tom Brady, you’re talking GREAT poise in the pocket.  When you talk GREAT hands, you’re talking Randy Moss on a 9 route. 

Take a look at all these great statistics.

589 total points scored - 1st all time

315 point differential – 1st all time

112 Wes Welker receptions – 1st all time in Patriots history

75 team touchdowns – 1st all time

50 Tom Brady touchdown passes – 1st all time

23 Randy Moss touchdown receptions – 1st all time

21 different players scored touchdowns – 1st all time (tied with 2000 Broncos)

19.7 points per game difference – 1st all time

19 consecutive regular season wins – 1st all time

Not surprisingly, the football stiffy I have right now is the greatest I’ve ever had.  Simply put, the Patriots are great. 

-- John Q. Sportswriter

Near Great Teams
According to our cyber friends at Cold Hard Football Facts, the Patriots are in fact, the most dominant team of the Super Bowl era (great, even).  The teams closest to the Greatriots include the 1968 Baltimore Colts, 1999 St. Louis Rams, and 1969 Vikings.  Not surprisingly, the Patriots have beaten every one of those teams at one point or another in their 47 year history.  Because, to be perfectly frank with you, the Patriots are great. 

NFL team to set season points record if team signs Randy Moss
During Randy Moss’ 1st year in Minnesota, the Vikings set the NFL record with 556 points.  Great.  During his first year in New England, the Patriots set the new NFL record with 589 points.  Great.  And during his first year in Oakland, the Raiders sucked, scoring a meager 290 points.  Not great.  To put that in perspective, the Patriots outscored their opponents by 25 more points than the Raiders scored period in Randy Moss’ first year with the club.  What it means?  Randy Moss isn’t great.  But Randy Moss with the Patriots is real great.  As for Moss with the Vikings?  Greatly exaggerated is his level of greatness, but great nonetheless. 

Amobi Okoye to host pretty good New Years Eve Party
Even with one full season under his belt, Amobi Okoye is still just 20 years old.  He wasn’t even alive when Hulk Hogan slammed Andre the Giant at WrestleMania III and yet, he reeled off 5.5 sacks and 32 tackles next to Mario Williams on the Texans defensive line this season. 

At any rate, just like his career, Amobi’s New Year’s Party is pretty high on the scale of goodness.  And to answer your question, no, he’s not going to abide by the law of the land just because he’s 20 years old.  There will be no sparkling grape juice, non-alcoholic wine coolers or even O’Doul’s.  No, it will be greatly different.  In typical football form, there will be booze, ganja, hookers, Gary Kubiak, strippers and stained-glass water bongs.   Unfortunately though, Amobi won’t be showing Patriots highlights during his party.

So there you have it, friends.  Amobi Okoye’s party won’t be great, but it will still be pretty awesome.  Nothing screams a rockin’ NYE as much as an incapacitated Gary Kubiak.

Jaguars pray Reggie Williams catches 16 viruses before Wild Card game
In the past, this here guy has mocked Jack Del Rio’s pride in having the tallest average quarterback/wide receiver height combination, formerly hovering around the 6’4” mark.  I don’t know if Jack was ever onto something with his beliefs, but with a shorter David Garrard behind center (compared to Byron Leftwich in year’s past), the Jaguars had 28 passing touchdowns - although 10 of them came via the arm of the 6’3” Quinn Gray.  What does it all mean?  Not a clue. 

On the topic of number 10, Reggie Williams (all 6’4” of him) has 10 receiving touchdowns this season on just 38 catches.  It pretty much equals a touchdown every 4 receptions.  If Williams is targeted for 8 receptions next weekend in Pittsburgh, the Jaguars can pretty much assure themselves of at least 12 points --- or zero points and 8 Reggie Williams receptions – or zero points and anywhere between zero and 8 Reggie Williams receptions.    Whatever the case may be, Reggie Williams likes him some touchdowns.

Manning causes great brain aneurism through Sorgi’s headset
In a losing effort which cost Cleveland the playoffs and sent the Titans off to San Diego in the Browns’ stead, Jim Sorgi completed 11 of 24 passes for 68 yards and a touchdown.  Sorgi saw more blitzes from the Titans compared to Peyton Manning and also had the daunting task of listening to Manning hawk plays from the sidelines via the team headsets.  I’m picturing the effect of Manning changing plays, calling audibles and yelling through the headset as damaging to Sorgi’s brain as high powered egg beaters whipping through cake batter.  (***!Great comparison using like or as!***)

---

“What’s that Peyton?”

“RED 90.  FALCON 1-ZERO.  YELLOW!  ON HIM, ON HIM!  WATCH THE SAM, WATCH SAM!”

“Got it.  …  Alright guys Red 90, Falcon I-Zero on three, ready, BREAK!  ……  Set, hut, hut…”

“CHANGE YELLOW, CHANGE YELLOW!  HYPER X-STRONG FALCON, X-STRONG FALCON!  MIKE, MIKE, MIKE.  YELLOW, MIKE FALCON, MIKE FALCON! WATCH THE MIKE!

 EMPTY NEST, EMPTY NEST!  NO, MULLIGAN.  MULLIGAN!  RICHARD MULLIGAN!  EMPTY NEST!  CHARLEY DEITZ!  HARRY WESTON!”   

“Time out.”

---

Peyton Manning is a huge Empty Nest fan.  I bet you didn't know that.

Cleveland Browns win Monday Football Column Great Interest Award
For whatever reason, I had great interest in the Cleveland Browns in the ’07 regular season, and I hope you did too.  It started at the draft when Brady Quinn left his sandwich on the table and restarted in Week 1 when Josh Cribbs predicted a win over the Steelers without “officially guaranteeing” it so as to avoid looking foolish.  Then we learned of Browns wide receiver Braylon Edwards visiting a terminally ill child in a Cleveland hospital, who would die soon after but was buried with Edwards’ autographed football and autographed jersey.  And we rounded it out with tales of Josh Cribbs vomiting on the sidelines and the many faces of Phil Dawson and Derek Anderson.    

Wouldn’t you know that Cribbs would end a Pro Bowl season with a 76 yard punt return for a touchdown and in the process, set the Browns club record with 3 return touchdowns?  And teammate Braylon Edwards would set the club record for receiving yards (1283) and receiving touchdowns (16).  And this picture would still come up on page 1 after Googling “Phil Dawson”:



If you’re in the mood for more broken NFL records which don’t involve Brett Favre or pictures that don't involve Phil Dawson, here’s a few more to chew on after Sunday’s action.

[cue background newscast music while stats scroll upscreen]

Devin Hester – set NFL record for kickoff/punt returns in single season (6)

Andre Davis – 2 kickoff returns for a touchdown, ties record for single game

NFL – set record of 42 kickoff/punt return touchdowns with Sunday’s action

Drew Brees – 440 completions, NFL season record

Brian Westbrook – 89 catches sets Eagles season receptions record

Tony Romo – 335 completions sets a Cowboys record

NFL – 246,412 NFL Network promos in one NFL Network broadcast during Week 17 at the Meadowlands.

[end background newscast music with stats exiting upscreen]

Really dumb Matt Millen to fire less stoopid coordinator
As of this writing, word on the street is that the Lions are set to fire Mike Martz, who will then move on to San Francisco.  Interesting that he’s pegged for a job on the West Coast considering, you know, NOTHING HAS BEEN ANNOUNCED and he STILL HAS A JOB with the Lions.  For the sake of discussion, though, we’ll assume the rumor is true. 

I’m not too sure what I think of the move.  On the one hand, I’ve mocked Martz repeatedly for asinine play calling, but at the same time, he doesn’t have an offensive line, turned Mike Furrey into a 90+ catch receiver a year ago, and has a quarterback who is so careless that he has been known to throw interceptions during games of horseshoes (***clever***).  On the negative side, the lack of a quality offensive line would clue most coaches that they should keep extra backs and tight ends at the line to block, but Martz has never been known to base play calling decisions on rationale.     

Aside from any pros or cons for keeping Mad Mike around Ford Field, you’d think Matt Millen would target the defense for some changes since, you know, the defense finished 32nd overall.  That’s awful, by the way.  The fact that I just wrote that Matt Millen would target the defense because it’s the logical thing to do is bad; and the fact that I wrote that Millen should do anything from the ranks of a team leadership position speaks volumes about the lack of greatness emanating from the Detroit Lions locker room.

The Monday Football Column was written by Pat Imig.  He’s been denied three times over by his doctor in his quest to attain a prescription for Patriots-recommended Greatness.  Email him at patrick@joesportsfan.com