Well folks, we're now a week+ deep into 2008 (interpret that however you want).  And even though it's cliche to recreate some of the highs and lows of 2007, we're offering up our final piece.  Consider this the epilogue to the Media Circus Craptacular.  It's three of the oft-repeated themes which the average sports fan likely saw or heard over and over again.

Oh, and our good friend Jeremy Schaap will stop by to bid a fond farewell to that plucky, gutty thoroughbred.   

** The Greatest Show on Turf **

Ladies and Gentlemen, the mainstream sports media is proud to beat a dead horse 6 feet further into the ground.  The beaten-to-a-pulp horse carcass: the “Greatest Show on Turf” cliche, the magical phrase describing the 1999 through 2001 offensive juggernaut that was the St. Louis Rams.   Allow us to demonstrate it in action some 6 years after it seemingly ended, in a season which the Rams went 3-13.

It’s the Michael Meyers of sports nicknames – it’s just won’t die. 

Step 1 – Announce that the Rams may once again be “The Greatest Show on Turf”

“The Rams could be headed for their most explosive season offensively since the "Greatest Show on Turf" tore up the league.” – Bill Coats, St. Louis Post Dispatch

"Are we looking at the Greatest Show on Turf Part II?  I don't know; stay tuned." - Bonnie Bernstein

“Free agents Drew Bennett and Randy McMichael, both shunned by their previous clubs, figure to get the catchphrase of "Greatest Show on Turf" echoing inside the Edward Jones Dome again.” – Tom Weir USA Today

Step 2 – Watch the Rams start out slowly and realize their offense isn’t anywhere close to where it was from 99-01

Rams fall to 0-8 after 8 weeks of football, averaging 12.4 points per game.

 

Step 3 – Lash out at the Rams and fans for thinking St. Louis was good enough to be compared to the Greatest Show even though no one but the media themselves suggested it.  

“Check the emotions of the principals with the St. Louis Rams in what is supposed to be a renewal of "The Greatest Show on Turf" offense.”– Gerry Fraley, San Francisco Chronicle after Week 2

”This is how you know "The Greatest Show on Turf" is six feet under: Rams quarterback Marc Bulger completed 17 of 26 passes against Tampa Bay for 116 yards. Former Rams receiver Kevin Curtis had more yards receiving (132) in one quarter Sunday than the Rams did the entire game.” – Clark Judge, after week 3  

"What was the Greatest Show on Turf needs a rehearsal." - Kenny Mayne after Week 6  

Rinse and Repeat (following a 37-29 Week 10 win over the Saints)

”The Greatest Show on Turf may be back in production or at least, pre-production.” – Kenny Mayne

”This was the team we expected to see from the start of the season. Too bad The Greatest Show on Turf waited until halfway through to strut its stuff.”– Bob Glauber, Newsday

“Sunday at the Louisiana Superdome, the Rams produced a blast from the past, a three-hour reprisal of the "Greatest Show" era. It was reminiscent of a time when the coach called daring plays, a Pro Bowl quarterback zipped precision passes to graceful receivers, and an undersized defense buzzed with energy.”  – Bernie Miklasz, St. Louis Post-Dispatch

The Rams would go on to finish 3-13.  

This is not the Greatest Show on Turf anymore.  All you people out there who thought otherwise are obviously wrong.

** Jose Reyes = EXCITEMENT **

It’s quickly establishing itself as one of those media driven titles that steadily goes from opinion to acknowledged fact.  Nowadays it’s almost like Rawlings is handing out an award for excitement at the end of each year.

One would think that the determination of what makes a player “exciting” would be based on a certain criteria that are probably different for every person watching baseball.  It’s not like saying he’s the “fastest” player in the game or the “most balanced”.  Those are things that you can support with facts and comparisons.  Fast is fast, balanced is balanced right?

NO!  They're exciting; and that's Jose Reyes.

"I think he's one of the most exciting players in the game." - Eric Young

"Jose Reyes is the most exciting player in the Major Leagues!" - Steve Phillips

“I think he'll develop the power that Rollins currently displays while being a faster and more exciting player. He's the most exciting player in the big leagues today.” – Steve Phillips 

“The most exciting player, dynamic player." - Eric Young

"Electric." - Fernando Vina

“Since the beginning of last season, no player has captured the imagination of baseball fans quite like Jose Reyes. Possessing rare five-tool talent at shortstop, Reyes is the epitome of excitement in our nation's pastime.”– Gennaro Filice, SI.com

And this column is all the more exciting because of it.  Can't you just feel it?

** Success = Charles Barkley **

The sports media has the art of a pre/post game studio show all figured out.  In order to be successful, you need a Charles Barkley.  Sure Charles Barkley is the very definition of “one-of-a-kind” personality and actively looking for someone like him is probably the most bankable way not to find it, but none of that matters.  A studio show needs a Barkley damn it.

“They hired Brett to be a Barkley-esque figure.”– Mike Wilbon on NBC’s hiring of Brett Hull for their NHL Show

“What CBS has to ask itself is, "Do we want the Charles Barkley of the NFL and all that implies?"– Jennifer Floyd-Engel, Dallas Forth Worth Telegram on Michael Irvin

"He's the closest thing to Charles Barkley — quick, opinionated, funny, smart, a show-stopping type."- ESPN Executive Producer Jay Rothman on Keyshawn Johnson

"Someone at Turner Sports must have forgotten the reasons for the success of TNT’s “Inside the NBA” when it cast Frank Thomas and Cal Ripken Jr. as the analysts for TBS’s postseason baseball show. Turner’s problem is not entirely rooted in failing to find a dominant personality with any two of Charles Barkley’s principal assets — animation, quotability, energy and unpredictability — but in failing to hire compelling talent."– Richard Sandomir, New York Times

The dance is as predictable as ever.  When the network’s latest attempt at re-creating Charles Barkley fails, the media will hammer them accordingly and the networks will respond by beginning another futile search for the next Charles Barkley.  

** In Memoriam ** 
Barbaro Coverage Euthanized

Take it away, Jeremy Schaap...

”He will live in the memories of millions.” 

"In his moment of anguish, Barbaro touched a nation… he was beautiful, swift, and invincible." 

"He leaves no offspring but his legacy is clear." 

"More than anything else, he was a horse who affirmed our humanity."



Thank you, Jeremy.  We couldn’t have said it any better. 

God bless, noble steed.