I'm the best drunk driver in town.

To Walter: Whatever....dude.

To Beat Meat Guy: Way to bring something relevant to the discussion.

To 3MTA3: Hopefully you don't apply that same logic while you're driving.....that is if you drive.

Bowling's a sport, gang. Actually it's both a recreational activity and a sport. It takes physical and mental skill to perform at the top levels, and it's pretty physically demanding, but it can also be a leisurely pastime.

Again, don't compare "bowling with your buddies while having a few" to what the guys ( and ladies) do at the professional level.

Anything that you get better at the more you drink belongs on the Ocho

Go beat your meat 39 times over 3 days and tell us how you feel. Is that a sport? There are balls involved.

8 year olds dude

Bowling's a sport.

Don't believe me. OK, here's whatcha do.

Go get a buddy and bowl against him/her. Bowl 39 games spread out over a 3-day period. 39 games just happens to be a pretty typical tournament week for a PBA professional by the way.
Then go play pool for 39 games. Then darts. Then poker. Then anything else you care to compare.

Come back and tell all of us just how good you physically feel after each.

Now, I'm not a fortune teller or anything, but I'm bettin' you won't feel too awful bad after the pool, darts, etc., but I gotta feelin' that after the 39 games of bowling, if (big if) you finish, you're not gonna geel so hot.

Don't confuse what you do with your friends on the occasional Saturday night to what what guys & gals like Tommy Delutz, Tommy Jones, Kelly Kulick, and Mike Scroggins do on a weekly basis.

George carlin has already covered, in his stand-up routine and book, what is a sport and what is not.

GEORGE CARLIN AND SPORTS
To my way of thinking there are really only three sports: baseball, basketball, and football. Everything else is either a game or an activity.

Hockey comes to mind. People think hockey is a sport. It's not. Hockey is three activities taking place at the same time: ice skating, fooling around with a puck, and beating the shit out of somebody. If these guys had more brains then teeth, they'd do these things one at a time. First go ice-skating, then fool around with a puck, then you go to the bar and beat the shit out of somebody. The day would last longer, and these guys would have a lot more fun. Another reason why hockey isn't a sport is that it's not played with a ball. Anything not played with a ball can't be a sport. These are my rules, I make 'em up.

Soccer. Soccer is not a sport because you can't use your arms. Anything where you can't use your arms can't be a sport. Tap dancing isn't a sport. I rest my case.

Running. People think running is a sport. Running isn't a sport because anybody can do it. I can run, you can run. For Christ sakes, my mother can run! You don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated, do you?

Swimming. Swimming isn't a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense. Sailing isn't a sport. Sailing is a way to get somewhere. Riding the bus isn't a sport, why the fuck should sailing be a sport?

Boxing is not a sport either. Boxing is a way to beat the shit out of somebody. In that respect, boxing is actually a more sophisticated way of hockey. In spite of what the police tell you, beating the shit out of somebody is not a sport. When police brutality becomes an Olympic event, fine, then boxing can be a sport.

Bowling. Bowling isn't a sport because you have to rent shoes. Don't forget, these are my rules. I make 'em up.

Billiards. Some people think billiards is a sport, but it can't be, because there's no chance of serious injury. Unless, of course, you welch on a bet in a tough neighborhood. Then, if you wind up with a pool cue stickin' out of your ass, you know you might be the victim of a sports-related injury. But that ain't billiards, that's pool, and that starts with a P, and that rhymes with D, and that brings me to darts.

Darts could have been a sport, because at least there's a chance to put someone's eye out. But, alas, darts will never be a sport, because the whole object of the game is to reach zero, which goes against all sports logic.

Lacrosse is not a sport; lacrosse is a faggoty college activity. I don't care how rough it is, anytime you're running around a field, waving a stick with a little net on the end of it, you're engaged in a faggoty college activity. Period.

Field hockey and fencing. Same thing. Faggoty college shit. Also these activities aren't sports, because you can't gamble on them. Anything you can't gamble on can't be a sport. When was the last time you made a fuckin' fencing bet?

Gymnastics is not a sport because Romanians are good at it. It took me a long time to come up with that rule, but goddammit, I did it.

Polo isn't a sport. Polo is golf on horseback. Without holes. It's a great concept, but not a sport. And as far as water polo is concerned, I hesitate to even mention it, because it's extremely cruel to horses.

Which brings me to hunting. You think hunting is a sport? Ask the deer. The only good thing about hunting is the many fatal accidents on the weekends. And, of course, the permanently disfigured hunters who survive such accidents.

Then you have tennis. Tennis is very trendy and very fruity, but it's not a sport. It's just a way to meet other trendy fruits. Technically, tennis is an advanced form a Ping-Pong. In fact, tennis is Ping-Pong played while standing on the table. Great concept, not a sport.

In fact, all racket games are nothing more the derivatives of Ping-Pong. Even volleyball is, technically, racketless, team Ping-Pong played with an inflated ball and raised net while standing on the table.

And finally welcome to golf. For my full take on golf, I refer you elsewhere in the book, but let it just be said golf is a game that might possibly be fun, if it could be played alone. But it's the vacuous, striving, superficial, male-bonding joiners one has to associate with that makes it such a repulsive pastime. And it is decidedly not a sport. Period.

From George Carlin's book Napalm and Silly Putty

Me and Liam are going to fuck you up. And if you try to pull a piece out on the lanes I will take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the trigger till it goes "click."

Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

That's one hell of a caucasian, Jackie.

The guy on the right side with the gray mustache and toupee has a beautiful shit-eating grin on his face. It looks like he blew a huge silent fart and just heard the guy behind him make a comment about the smell.

the guy in the bottom left. is that ari shaffir, the amazing racist

This isn't Vietnam; this is bowling. There are rules. It's a sport. Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one who gives a shit about the rules?

Mark it 0, Scroggins! You are entering a world of pain.

Brian Doyle Murray from Ghostbusters II is loving the action

The old guy with the Hawaiian shirt get-up is my favorite. Looks like he just crapped himself.

Here we go, Scroggins, here we go!

F you, Scroggins...you chest-shaving, polo shirt-with-a-zipper wearing pussy.

Am I reading the scorebox correctly? It looks like the bowler's name is Scroggins. That's hilarious.

If drinking, eating, and smoking during competition does not diminish one's performance, it's not a sport. And by drinking, I mean a few beverages, not getting plastered because that clearly would reduce a bowling score by at least 5 points.

Ed Asner (right underneath the "Sea-fence" ... er... "D-Fence" sign) does not care for this "bowling."

And there is a fantastic rug/mustache combo in a bright blue polo.

What's this day of rest shit? What's this bullshit? I don't fucking care! It don't matter to Jesus! You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you no fool Jesus! It's bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable man! HA HA!! I would've fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. WHOO-HOO!! YOU GOT A DATE WEDNESDAY, BABY!!!!!!

I think the fans in attendance were taken for a field trip from their home confines at the nursing home. Beard and glasses guy is one of the cooks.

The old man in the Hawaiian shirt has absolutely no clue where he is right now.

Admitting that Christmas is over is something that depresses me. Hence, the sign

I think it's time to take down the Merry Christmas sign on the top right corner of this page.

Red - are you suicidal guy?

That picture cracked me up. And raised this question: Who the f*%# goes somewhere to watch a bowling match anyway? Has there ever been a bowling event in history where people paid money to be in the audience? I bet there has been. Look at that guy in the front row with the black glasses. He's paid to watch bowling before for sure. He also looks like a suicide risk. He's thinking, "holy fuck I'm in the audience at a bowling match. I put gel in my hair but it keeps sticking up. Why can't my hair look slick like the dude with the bowling ball? I think I'll kill myself later". Anyway, here is my definition of a sport: If taking steroids would make you better at what you're doing, what you're doing is a sport. What do you think about that? I think it is a good way to decide what is and what isn't a sport. This defition would eliminate darts, billiards, bowling, poker, and all those other activities that ESPN tries to pass of as a sport It would count golf, strongman competitions, arm wrestling, tug of war, and other such competitive games as sports. Why is tug of war not in the olympics anymore? it used to be many years ago. Tell me a Canada vs USA tug of war wouldn't be fun to watch. You could have a large body of water separating the two teams, with the losing team being pulled into the water. Niagara falls would be perfect. USA on their side, Canada on our side. Loser plummets to their death on live TV. Awesome! Okay I just noticed something else. The old guy in the blue shirt seems to be staring at the suicidal guy. To me, it looks like he is sizing him up in a sexual fashion. Almost like he's imagining what it would be like to lube up a bowling pin and gently stick it in the bearded guy's ass.