This is what happens when there are two weeks between conference championship games and the Super Bowl: we learn things we were better off not knowing.

Giants offensive lineman Grey Ruegamer admitted to a New York publication that he used to castrate lambs with his teeth.  Perhaps it’s just his way of getting inside Tom Brady’s head given that Brady once posed with a goat.  Or maybe he’s dead serious.  I’m inclined to go with the latter seeing Ruegamer has a vivid memory of his past castration escapades...

‘You grab the forelegs and pin them to the ground, and then you grab the back legs and throw them on their back.  (Once the groin is exposed) away you go. It’s the way the Basques do it….You pull them out with your teeth, spit them in a bucket, next one. I was hesitant. But it is what it is. She needed help. There was beer. Good times. It was worth it.  The blood on your mustache is the worst part. It’s just a little lamb. It’s not a big animal. I have pictures.”

In the wake of Ruegamer's shocking announcement, several notable victims have come forward, accusing Ruegamer of trying to start his personal pet control crusade.  In a scandal that will no doubt leave a black mark on Super Bowl XLII festivities, Ruegamer has yet to address the accusations, but these once silent voices are anonymous no longer...  

Rex the Dog



"I'll admit that I was out of control horny for quite some time.  Yeah, maybe I did a little more than ass-sniffing and groped some unassuming human legs, but that didn't give Grey the right to pin me down on my back and forcably remove my manions.  It hurt.  And now I can't procreate!  Oh well; at least I still have my tongue and my flexibility."

Hooch the Dog



"I was prepping for the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show in mid January of '06.  One day, I stumbled on to this beastly man who offered be a Beggin' Strip.  Hesitant at first, I took the bait and he hooked me.  He ripped out my sperm globes with his teeth and told me to keep my sex to bathing sessions.  Man, I never should have taken that Beggin' Strip."

The Crime Dog, Fred McGriff



"I never met Grey Ruegamer until that day.  Look, this isn't easy for me to talk about, but I still have my testicles in tact.  All I'll say is that when he and I were face to face, he kept screaming about the 'Kali Mar'.  That dude watched Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom way too many times.  To this day, I still don't think he knows that I'm not actually a dog."   

Snoop Dog



"Ain't nobody strong enough to scrape mine away.  Not even Grey."

The Dog Face Gremlin, Rick Steiner 



"GREY RUEGAMER... IF YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SET OF BALLS, THEN COME ON OUT TO THIS RING AND FIGHT ME.  IF I BEAT YOU, I GET MY TESTES BACK!  COME ON, RUEGAMER, YA COWARD!  COME ON OUT AND FIGHT!"

Michael Vick



"I swerr he destroyed all our dogs.  First he castrated them with his teeth and spit out them bizzles, then he took to the ring and mauled every one of our prize-fightin' pit bulls.  The 60 dog carcasses in the backyard?  That was Ruegamer's work.  The man is out of control and needs to be in a cell - though I'd prefer it wasn't the cell next to mine."