[With the Super Bowl just days away, Joe SportsFan is committed to bringing you the most in-depth coverage possible.  Since the only story we've "reported" on is one player's interest in biting sheep testicles, we've turned our attention to the fans.  This afternoon we continue with Patriots Fan Day.  Tomorrow, it's the Giants turn.] 

While its less prominent than the Red Sox-Yankees agenda, when the Super Bowl pairing ultimately turned out to be the Giants and Patriots, it was inevitable that America would be subjected to more “Boston and New York fans hate each other!” propaganda.

But we didn’t expect this. 

As Matt Sebek briefly touched on earlier today, last Friday, Boston Herald writer Jessica Heslam published a piece that took the whole thing to another level. 

In her article entitled “Pats fans a cut above”, she (hopefully tongue-in-cheek) used some data collected by Nielsons Co. that, according to her hypothesis, showed how superior Patriots fans are to those neanderthal Giants supporters.    

Here are some of her arguments for Boston fans…

“Some 62 percent of Pats fans living in the Boston area earned a bachelor’s or postgraduate degree or have some higher-education experience, compared to 59 percent of Giants fans”

“72 percent of Pats fans live in homes worth north of $200,000, compared to 63 percent of Giants yahoos”

“We drink Amstel Light, not Bud Light. Giants fans slug back lots of whiskey.”

“We are likely to read connoisseur magazines like Wine Spectator. Gotham fans like to pig out on junk food like pretzels, chips and nuts.”

“They’re also less likely to favor organic food than other New Yorkers.”

“When Pats revelers aren’t watching football, they’re hitting the slopes skiing or going for a sail. They’re also more likely to belong to country clubs.”

A quick recap:  apparently Boston fans brag about what college they went to and how much their house cost, drink only foreign beer yet read magazines about wine, give a shit whether or not they are eating organic food and when they’re not watching football, they enjoy stopping by the country club or maybe even going for a sail. 

So, if we’re to believe Nielson, on any given Sunday, Gillette Stadium is filled with 68,000 douchebags. 

Most people don’t realize this but they actually replaced the grass at Gillette Field with turf because, after the game, fans have a little tradition where they get out there and play a few rounds of polo before heading back to the Lodge in their leased BMWs to drink celebratory snifters of scotch. 

Even if she was only referencing the study in jest, hopefully Jessica Heslam realizes that she just made the rest of the nation believe that the average Pats fan is like Winthorpe from Trading Places back when he was hanging out with Penelope, Muffy and Constance.  (You know, before the Dukes planted the angel dust on him and Jaime Lee Curtis planted her jugs on him)

But not all of them are going to sit around and allow themselves to be part of a simplistic stereotype.  Some Patriots fans will keep fighting the good fight...



What they didn’t show in that clip was that, while he was getting his head tattooed like Tom Brady’s helmet, Victor Thompson was deeply engaged in the newest edition of Wine Spectator.   

Part of the “team” indeed.