JoeSportsFan

So you don’t think Pearl Vision is a “sporting goods” store?  You think that only athletes can read an eye chart without support can succeed in this day in age? There's one man who disagrees with you.  And he's got an army standing behind him...

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Tom Henke’s Army is a haven for those brave ballplayers who were not afraid to take the field despite their very obvious disability.  In a sport where vision was crucial, these proud men had did not hesitate to play the game wearing regular old, science teacher glasses.  Screw style, these guys are all substance.  The type of substance that step up to the plate knowing that an errant fastball could not only result in shattered glasses being imbedded into their foreheads but also cost them $15 for new frames.  

These are the real heroes.   And Henke’s Army continues to grow and add members whose sole purpose is to protect the rights of those players who weren’t lucky enough to be blessed with 20/20 vision.

Before we are introduced to the newest recruits, we must first pay homage to the leaders who will guide them in their journey, the veterans of Henke’s Army… 

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The New Blood...

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The few.  The impaired.  Even in the face of Lasik and contact lenses, Henke's Army will march onward. 

Because the world needs bespectacled heroes.   
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Mizzouarl9p8, April 15, 2008 04:04 PM
I love Tom! I'm from Mid-Mo and have known him my whole life and see him at least a few times a year. But I can't honestly remember whether he still has the glasses or not
Jim, April 7, 2008 01:04 AM
What about Kent Tkulve when he pitched for the Pirates...
arty, April 6, 2008 10:04 AM
He's right about Dick (Richie) Allen, and while you're at it check out the SI cover photo of him on the field in uniform, smoking a cigarette. My other vintage Coke bottle guy, Ryan Duren.
4eyes, April 4, 2008 02:04 PM
What about Reggie Jackson? Or Dick Allen? Put them in Francisco Rodriguez' league - all-star butt muscles.
Frames, April 4, 2008 01:04 PM
Pete O'Brien had rocked them well!
Buddyanna, April 4, 2008 11:04 AM
How can you forget Rick Wise. Once threw a no-hitter and hit two homer runs in the same game.
MGM, April 4, 2008 06:04 AM
Do not forget Sgt. Steve Yeager...anyone who could block the plate and catch Charlie Hough's errant missles the way he did deserves a medal...
JB, April 4, 2008 04:04 AM
Tekulve was another one that was noted on the first edition of Henke's Army that was lost in the server switch. I'll have to re-post those at some point in the near future. There are some high ranking officers in that one including Tekulve and his nerdy friend Lee Tunnell.
EK, April 4, 2008 04:04 AM
You must check out Ed Hearn's 1986 Donruss card. Easily he would rank as a major or higher.
SD, April 4, 2008 03:04 AM
Kent Tekulve was jobbed.http://mlb.imageg.net/graphics/product_images/pMLB2-3061529dt.jpg
SD, April 4, 2008 03:04 AM
How did Kent Tekulve not make this list?
ChiTown Steve, April 4, 2008 02:04 AM
Is Steve Trout wearing a batting helmet? I thought he was a pitcher.
Barry Duffman, April 3, 2008 12:04 PM
I think Mike Cubbage is John Denver's retarded twin. Also, why do none of the hats seem to fit these guys heads. New Era was really having some problems back then.
Patrick, April 3, 2008 09:04 AM
Pat Sheridan looks like he has horrible breath and morning boogers every day of his life.
Mr. Irrelevant, April 3, 2008 08:04 AM
What about Franciso Rodriguez? He can be included too. His specialty being a major league asshole.
MEDIASPACE, April 3, 2008 07:04 AM
I think this site is better during beisbol season.
CA, April 3, 2008 07:04 AM
It's nice to see Central Illinois get some love with the inclusion of the "Pride of Buckley", MJR. Scott Garrelts.
Josh, April 3, 2008 07:04 AM
What about some of the modern players in Henke's Army. I can only think of one right now, but it's a big one. Pvt. Eric Gagne. Specialty: Demolitions. Gagne can blow a save in a non save opportunity. It takes your breath away. Although in my case I'm winded from screaming at the TV.
JB, April 3, 2008 06:04 AM
Yes, but not from a .50 caliber rifle. He would have survived that. He is being honored posthumously.
Brad, April 3, 2008 06:04 AM
Soldier down... soldier down! Darrell Porter died in 2002.
JB, April 3, 2008 06:04 AM
This was new today. It was posted as last night only because it went active on the main page before midnight.
Mr. Irrelevant, April 3, 2008 05:04 AM
Are you guys gonna post anything new today?
Tron, April 3, 2008 05:04 AM
Why dont you give a lap dance to the world's richest man.
JB, April 3, 2008 05:04 AM
The first Henke's Army column (which I think covered Ryne Duren) was lost in the abyss when we transferred to a new server last year. Instead of giving up, Henke came back stronger than ever.
Cole, April 3, 2008 05:04 AM
I think (SGT) Steve Trout's frames are larger than my entire head. If he stands in the same place for a long enough time on sunny days, he could probably set fire to the outfield grass.
Tommy Boy, April 3, 2008 04:04 AM
These are great. How about the look on Pat Sheridan's face? He looks like he was in the middle of batting practice and then spotted somebody breaking into his Trans Am in the parking lot. He also has an odd looking mustache. Mike Norris resenbles "Tron" from the Dave Chapelle Show.
Thomas Magnum, April 3, 2008 04:04 AM
Two non-glasses related things need to be explored in a litte more depth:1) The molester 'stache Pat Sheridan 'grew'2) The hat Keith Atherton is sporting...I mean, does he store all his eye care products (including a spare set of glasses) under that dome?
Smittherton, April 3, 2008 04:04 AM
I tried reading the old Henke's Army column and it didn't come up. any ideas?
Ricky Vaughn, April 3, 2008 03:04 AM
What about me assholes? Just because I am a fictional baseball player doesn't mean I wouldn't kick some ass in Henke's Army.
Mr. Irrelevant, April 3, 2008 03:04 AM
That shit was funny. " keeps bitches in line" was funny but i think "easily disguised as a retarded woman" was by far the funniest especially because Steve Trout looks like a retarded woman.
Patrick, April 3, 2008 02:04 AM
I also love how Keith Atherton looks weetoddid in every picture. joesportsfan.com/cards.php?tag=1989 toppsAnd Steve Trout always resembles an old woman.
TF, April 3, 2008 02:04 AM
Love that scowl on Chris Sabo.
TF, April 3, 2008 02:04 AM
A few of these guys fall into the men-who-look-like-old-lesbians category.
Patrick, April 3, 2008 02:04 AM
Norris appears to be wearing Blue Blockers.
JB, April 3, 2008 02:04 AM
How you can even think about taking a baseball field wearing the shades that Mike Norris is wearing is beyond me.
Jason, April 2, 2008 05:04 PM
Agree 100% - "keep bitches in line" was the greatest line of the piece.
Jeremy, April 2, 2008 05:04 PM
These are the best yet. "Keeps bitches in line" great, laughed for two minutes staright.

Dan Gladden

Amazingly, Dan Gladden's offensive statistics began a meteoric rise when he was finally convinced to give up the 45-inch homemade bat he called "Big John Wood".

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