Gentlemen, it’s 9:00 pm.  We have a decision to make.  And that decision is to decide what to do about tonight’s game.  What I need from everyone here: perform your due diligence so we can make the final move.

If I may interject for a second?

Most of the time, a steady rainfall will make the field damp and wet.  What you have is an infield that may not be full of water so much as sandy or damp dirt with a moist outfield that doesn’t have  anything of the sort.

Mmmm, that's a good point.  Yes, yes.

(Ed Goren, FOX Sports President): Can we just can this game and make it up tomorrow?  Our ratings are already in the shitter.  A 10:30 eastern start time will make it even worse.   Who the hell chose the Cardinals and Tigers for this series anyway?  Cancel the game and make it up tomorrow!

Usually when a game is postponed, it doesn’t replace the following day’s non-postponment. That being the case, should we decide to cancel tonight’s game - Game 4 - Game 4 would actually become Game 5 because Game 5 was and is scheduled for Thursday.  What you have is a game that was scheduled as Game 5 actually being the 4th game.  Game 4 as we know it now would actually be Game 4B – or 5 as most will recognize it - which will be played Friday.

Yes, yes, that’s valid.

Look!  This is ridiculous.  Make the decision to cancel the game and we’ll run some original FOX programming.

Yes, yes, you’re on to something.  Okay, so I declare our two choices: wait longer, or postpone until tomorrow.  

Don, what are your thoughts?

 … … … …

Don is ordering a pizza.  Okay, um, I, I, I don’t know!  I don’t know what to do.  I don’t know!

Has anybody seen my wallet?

For the love of God, let’s just postpone the game!

Goren got it right that time!  He had been using the phrase “cancel” but in baseball terms, most of the time, you use the term “postpone”.  Goren got it right!  But previously, he had been using the wrong phrase.

Uh huh.  That's valid.  Yes.

Could we, please?

Okay; since we can’t come together and make this exhausting, complex decision, we will decide the way we chose a tie in the all star game and the way we decided to end the ’94 players strike: we will consult the Magic 8 Ball.

Magic 8 Ball, should we postpone tonight’s game?

No game tonight.  Now let’s decide what to do with the remaining time.  It’s already 12 minutes past 10:00 pm. 

Let’s just go back to The War At Home.  We need to continue to promote that – that is, if anybody is watching.  I’m just not sure how to finish off tonight’s lineup.

You go local news until half past the hour.  Then go The War At Home and back to the local news for a regular half hour broadcast.

I don’t understand that show.  I can’t stand next to you.

Everyone keeps saying that.  You guys in the media keep saying “it’s not a good show”.  How many times do I need to say it: they’ve got one of the best writers in the game today, arguably the best or second best sitcom producers of all time, a supporting cast that has won 8 or 9 Emmys.  This is a good show. 

And that kind of talk is not going to happen here.  Not now.  It’s happened before and it’s not going to happen again.  No more.

(nods head).  Okay, so no game, local news, the War at Home, full edition of local news and then what?

I think you make a double switch and bring in an episode of Mad TV from the archives and let it go a full 60 minutes.  By that time, you’re back to regularly scheduled programming.

Meeting adjourned.











We need Fox robots.  More Foxbots.  Damn!  I should have listened to Rupert.