Sit down boys and girls, we’ve got a little story to tell you this week about a football writer from Sports Illustrated who went on super exciting field trip recently.
Petey King normally hangs around the harsh world of big, strong football players, so it was quite a journey for him when he went on a special trip to baseball spring training – a place where there are hundreds of new players who he can brag about meeting for no real reason at all!
Along the way, Petey had some awesome adventures. He made some new friends and told everyone about them…
"My favorite interview: Jimmy Rollins. I love guys who say what they think. He's also about as normal a high-profile player as you'll find in any sport."
"Brad Lidge. About as standup a guy as you'll find."
He met some people who reminded him of other people he’s friends with, which meant twice as much name-dropping!!…
“Craig Biggio has some Tom Brady in him. Same kind of superstar -- accessible, team-first, thoughtful.”
“Ryan Howard has the presence of LaDainian Tomlinson. People just like being around him.”
“Mark Loretta. Drew Brees. Same guy.”
He met some mean players in Houston who didn’t like his name-dropping…
“’Will you please get away from him?' Morgan Ensberg of the Astros said to me as I filled (Astros OF Chris) Burke with stories about Peyton Manning.”
During his trip to Spring Training, Petey learned that just because they’re famous, doesn’t mean baseball players aren’t like every normal guy…
You know how many baseball players love the NFL? Vernon Wells (Cowboys), Roy Halladay (Bucs), Aaron Rowand (Bears), Jimmy Rollins (49ers), Chris Burke (Colts). And many more.
And before it was time to go home he got to share his favorite drink with one his best new friends…
“Houston Astro Mark Loretta saw me with a large Dunkin Donuts coffee, with cream, in the clubhouse the other morning. He held up his Dunkin Donuts cup and said: "I got hooked on it up in Boston. Never had it much before then, and everyone said I'd love it. They were right. Maybe it's the cream, I don't know.''
When he got back home, Petey King was thankful for all of his new friends. He was so grateful, he told everyone about his spring training adventures in a column space normally reserved for football.
Crap that actually came from somebody’s mouth
“I was never impressed with the mid-majors and other small schools in the tournament because it was clear the majority of them were no match for the top seeds.” - JT the Brick, msnbc.com
While JT was busy gloating, he was going 0-3 in his “upset” picks in the first round on his msnbc.com podcast (All 10 seeds over 7 seeds if you call those upsets).
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“March Madness made us wince early, but the weekend was something to savor. Yet the ball rolls on without Cinderella. So brace yourself for a relatively bland Sweet 16.” - ESPN.com headline for Pat Forde’s Monday column.
We have no idea if Pat Forde wrote this little intro to his column on Monday (we doubt he did) but it helps to underscore a little hypocrisy amongst the NCAA basketball world when it comes to the Tournament. During the week between Selection Sunday and the end of the first two rounds, it seems like an awful lot of media members jump from the “we just want the best teams” side of the fence over to the “we want more Cinderella’s” side. Perhaps they should all stay on the “we just want the easiest story” side.
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"A reminder, if you're stuck in the office and can't watch the game, go to sportsline.com for March Madness on Demand." - Dick Enberg
Another reminder, if you're stuck in the office unable to watch the game, you have no idea what Dick Enberg just said.
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"The dominance of Duke the last decade or so just makes it eerie (that they lost in round 1)." - Len Elmore
Really Len? Eerie? If Krzyzewski’s head would have spun around and spewed green venom on to (VCU Coach) at the end of regulation, then it would have been eerie.
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"My partner (Clark Kellogg) predicted an upset, so he's going to be sitting on his Hogs." - Seth Davis on the Arkansas Razorbacks.
Let the record show this marks the first and only time Seth Davis publicly acknowledged his partner sitting on his hogs.
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"Is Winthrop this year's George Mason?" - ESPN College Gamenight
No.
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"The ACC leads as the conference that has the worst weekend." - Billy Packer
Even for a statistic with negative connotation, the unabashed ACC lover finds a way to place the conference on a pedestal. They’re first in worst, says he.
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"(Randolph Morris is) an NCAA player, isn't he?" - Billy Packer
What was once a running joke has unfortunately become reality… with each passing broadcast, Billy Packer is attempting to ruin college basketball.
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“(Super Bowl XLI was) the biggest win in Peyton Manning’s 9 year career.” – Darren Woodson
As evidenced by Woodson’s remark, the ESPN NFL crew works diligently in the off-season to maintain mid-season form throughout.
Just in Case You Forgot How Much Dick Loves Duke
One of the drawbacks in watching (or joining) the majority of college basketball fans cheer in unison for a VCU upset over Duke is the fallout from the unconditional Duke lover. Enter Dick Vitale, who has his own section on the WorldWide Leader’s Web Site.
In a reactionary “Duke Can’t Dance” piece, which no doubt made Vitale limp for the remainder of 2007, Dickey gave the people exactly what they would expect. Cheesy Vitale-isms? Check.
”(VCU Coach Anthony) Grant looked poised on the sidelines during the upset of Duke. There is no doubt, his stock is up, up and up, baby!”
Mike Krzyzewski man love? Check.
”Mike Krzyzewski got the most out of his kids… my friends, coach K will have this program regroup in a hurry.”
Perhaps more notable than the above quotes is the fact that Vitale reeled off a robust 10 paragraphs comprised of a mere 26 sentences, a miniscule average of 2.6 sentences per!!! It’s a trademark of some of our world’s finest media elite, and Vitale proves that even though he’s a TV monster, he can also get it done in the print world.
Oh, and just to assure that any sense of objectivity be avoided, Dick has a lasting message for Duke Nation going forward…
”For all those Duke followers, remember this was a young team and coach K will welcome in three big-time newcomers next season, led by Kyle Singler. He will be the next big star for the Blue Devils.”
Gordo’s Obvious Column of the Week
After a trip to Vegas for the National Fantasy Baseball Championship draft, Stltoday.com columnist and namesake of the Obvious Column of the Week, Jeff Gordon wrote a column outlining ten astute observations about how statistics-hungry fantasy experts view the current landscape in the Major Leagues.
Apparently, there was some groundbreaking stuff going on there. Amongst those revelations were:
“1. Cardinals superstar Albert Pujols is the most respected commodity in the sport today.”
“2. Baseball has very few elite pitchers.”
“3. After that top group of starting pitchers, there is a sea of merely good starting pitchers in the majors.”
“7. Chris Duncan gets a little play in the stat world…but the experts are reluctant to rally behind players without full-season offensive credentials.”
“8. The rest of the Cards lineup doesn’t wow the stat guys.”
“9. In general, few players offer power AND speed in today’s game.”
To recap, the National Fantasy Baseball Championship draft helped prove that Pujols is the best player, there aren’t many elite pitchers but there are lots of good pitchers, it’s smart to see if a player can produce over a full season as opposed to half of a season, David Eckstein and Adam Kennedy aren’t real valuable fantasy players (edit: unless you’re in a league that counts grittiness, then they’re Top 10) and players with both power and speed are rare.
Kind of changes everything you knew about the game doesn’t it?
Hey Kids: Be Skinny – Not Like Me
We have nothing against a retired football player using his health and nutrition endorsement to benefit his personal foundation, but we do have a question: couldn’t GNC have selected a better body to endorse their line of products than this one…

Never a good business move when one of your spokesmen owns the nickname “the Bus”.
Bob Carpenter Memorial Snappy Line
March Madness and the Carpenter Memorial evoke memories of the Jim Nantz championship line. But before we reach the Final Two, Nantz’s coworker Gus Johnson vowed to offer up some Sweet 16 competition during the Texas A&M/Louisville second round contest.
"The Aggies are always good when the Law is on their side."
A decent effort from newbie Gus Johnson, but the reigning king of Final Four snap Jim Nantz conquered CBS in the game of Sweet 16 one-upsmanship.
"The Running Rebels are running on to the Sweet 16!"
Thanks to the NCAA Tournament, Bobby is willing to forgive Nantz for his monumental flop in the Super Bowl (failing to give a snappy closing line), but total reconciliation is dependent on the April 2nd championship game. As for Gus Johnson, he is currently in the “future star” category with a bit more potential to fulfill. Two thumbs in the middle sans the middle finger from Robert C.
The Media Circus is written by Josh Bacott and Pat Imig. They swear this stuff is real. Email them at info@joesportsfan.com
The minute he found out that the Topps crew had run out of Carl Buddig Roast Beef in the lunch spread, a disgusted Bert Roberge grabbed his stuff and bolted.