Before adulthood, when going to the concession stand usually consists of a combination of nachos, beer, hot dogs, brats, and the occasional lemonade to mix with snuck-in vodka, there was the little league concession stand.  The anticipation that came with standing in line after your game and picking out something loaded up with sugar to celebrate the five-error play that you thought was an inside-the-park home run was unmatched. 

Plus, the $35 you spend nowadays on concessions at the game could have sent you home with more candy than three Halloweens back then.  But what were the best treats at the concession stand?  That’s this week’s Top 7.

7. Frozen candy bars
I never understood this.  I realize it was 95 degrees outside, but at least put them in the refrigerator where they will stay edible.  Although you could have taken advice from a classic Mitch Hedberg joke: “my friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, and I said ‘no,’ but I want a regular banana later, so…’yeah.’”

6. Sunflower seeds
It’s always fun when you can make competitions out of what you are eating.  If they can have competitive eating events, why have they not done anything with spitting seeds?  Or have they?  If you’re playing baseball, you may as well have 3000% of your daily salt content simultaneously.

5. Nachos
Some things just never change.  This is where you first learned of the value of hook-ups at various establishments, because if you knew the guy working there, you could get 45 ounces of cheese with your chips.

4. Jolly Rancher sticks
They tasted differently than the little chunks that they have nowadays, it seemed like they were more flavorful.  Plus, they were only a dime, perhaps the best investment of all-time.

3. Flavor Ice
If you haven’t had these in awhile, trust me when I tell you to go buy 100 of them right now (or after work).  Yes, it’s just frozen syrup, but it is possible to consistently eat these for about sixteen consecutive hours without even considering stopping.  Just make sure that you keep track of the clipped off portion of the wrapper or you’ll be finding them in the couch for the following three weeks.

2. Now and Laters
This may have only been a southern Illinois thing, I’m not sure, but Now and Laters were so popular that there was a black market for them.  If you had Now and Laters, you were the 10-year old equivalent of that urban legend guy who sells people’s kidneys.

1.Big League Chew
Although its taste lasted around 90 seconds, there was nothing really quite like it.  Everyone also surely had the experience of trying to get an entire package in his/her mouth at one time.  Good times.  Bonus—if you had a pack of candy cigarettes, you could simulate tobacco use twice in one day!  Were you a grape person or an original person?  Either one was pure heaven. 

If you ever see someone pull out a pouch nowadays, make sure that you give the handshake that they deserve.  The three things that tie our generation together are probably Big League Chew, the Contra code, and that Michael Jordan free-throw line poster.

The Top Seven List is written by Jason Major.  He might get suspended by JSF for failing to include Fun Dip on the list.  Email him at jason@joesportsfan.com

The Origins of Big League Chew [jimbouton.com]

The Contra Series [wikipedia]

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