In this, the year 2007, the world was desperately in need of a superhero.  Someone to help clean up this mess we've created. 

Chaos reigns in the Middle East, global warming is melting our glaciers and Dancing with Stars continues to get ratings.  Even the world of sports is in disarray – athletes are being killed in car crashes, dog-fighting rings are being broken up, fans are being called racist because they don’t like Barry Bonds. 

Don’t think that this has gone unnoticed by the powers that be. 

Deep in the bowels of NBC headquarters, the network dedicated millions of dollars to research with the sole goal of creating the next superhero.  Not just any superhero, someone who was talented and cocky enough to put the world on his shoulders and carry us back to respectability.  A superhero not only in the real world, but more importanty, in the media.  Someone who has a knack for promoting himself until society can't possibly ignore them.  You can have Spiderman and Superman, Matt Lauer and Oprah Winfrey, Brett Favre and Roger Clemens.  They wanted more. 

They were in search of a superhero that was all of them wrapped into one. 

On May 4, 2007 NBC scientists were working in a secret lab, experimenting with the DNA of the most powerful media creations.  Unbeknownst to them, with one slip of the hand, they made a mistake that would change the world forever. 

When the scientist accidentally mixed the DNA of one of 2006's most prominent athletes into the coffee of a rising TV news anchor, history was made. 

The ultimate media machine had been born…

The undeniable star power of the late Kentucky Derby winner, Barbaro, blended with the arrogance and polished television persona of former Giants running back Tiki Barber had created a beast that can not only report the news but become the news.  It was half-Pro Bowl football player, half-Grade 1 Stakes winner....all powerful. 

Whether he’s on the radio or television, covering a football game, a presidential election or reporting live from a trackside barn at Churchill Downs – there’s no place, no story that Tiki Barbaro can’t track down.  He has a smile that melt hearts and a stride clocked at up to 35 mph…carrying a microphone.  Perhaps he’ll drop it?  Oh no.  Tiki Barbaro does not fumble.

Watch out President Bush, there’s a new media creation to deal with, and he just signed a deal with NBC……

Children and deranged adults will send him get well cards, enemies of the truth will flee from him, Sportscenter will not be able to ignore him.  He will be an unstoppable force.  Bigger than Bob Costas, bigger than Chris Berman thinks he is.  More influential than Bill O’Reilly or Howard Stern. 

Love him or hate him, it won’t matter – there will be too much media coverage to avoid him. 

The world needed a superhero.  They got a media whoring centaur.  And the best part?  He’ll make a heck of a stallion.   

To be continued....

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