For every good non-sports appearance by athletes—Kareem in Airplane, John Kruk on Letterman, Cam Neely in Dumb and Dumber (actually most athletes in Farrelly Brothers movies)—there are hundreds of bad ones, so sorting them into a concise list of seven more than likely means that I’m going to miss quite a few.  Apologies in advance, but at least be rest assured that the following are awfully atrocious.

7. B-Ball’s Best Kept Secret
Forget the Allen Iverson rap album.  This one was a compilation!  It featured Dana Barros, Malik Sealy, Cedric Ceballos, Brian Shaw, Chris Mills, Jason Kidd, J.R. Rider, Dennis Scott, Gary Payton, and a Barros/Ceballos duo.  That’s 16 total tracks, all bad, two of them former dunk contest winners.  Everyone is a winner here.

6. BarryBonds.com
It was pitched as a way for Bonds to keep in touch with his fans and talk directly to them.  It has sure succeeded in helping his public image a lot.

5. The Fundamentals by Isiah Thomas
This is more for the subtitle: 8 Plays for Winning the Games of Business and Life.  From the guy who ran the Knicks completely in the ground.  You can buy a used copy from Amazon for $0.01.

4. The WWF Cookbook
No one can churn out crap to sell better than the WWF/E, but even they would probably admit that this one can’t be topped.

3. Shaq Movies 
I am Kazaam!  For all of the talk about the bad Shaq movies, I may have to say that Blue Chips was the worst, simply because it actually made money at the box office, it got a lot of hype beforehand, and I was suckered into seeing it.  What a pile of dog turds.

2. Deion Sanders Hot Dog Express
Blatantly trying to steal the thunder from the George Foreman Grill, they gave Deion something that cooked hot dogs.  The best part about this gadget was the commercial, where someone said something to the effect of “Deion sure knows how to cook a hot dog.”

1. Macho Man, “Be A Man”
I have mentioned this masterpiece on many occasions.  Go buy it right now if you don’t have it.  It’s so bad that it may just be brilliant.  Macho has to be the only person in the history of civilization that has had an album promoted by 50 Cent (via You Tube) and on Fox News (he did an interview with I believe John Gibson). 

Come on Hogan, be a man; don’t be scerred.

The Top7 is written by Jason Major.  He thinks Macho Man should have a couple of Grammys on his shelf.  Email him at jason@joesportsfan.com

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