JoeSportsFan

Matt Sebek
Fan of the Week - The Tale of Two Tattoos
Posted by Matt Sebek, August 30, 2007

Welcome back. In case you were out last time, here's what you may have missed.

May 2, 2006 - In the wake of the new season at Busch Stadium, this picture was captured of a fan sporting a 24 inch backtoo of the hallowed stadium that once stood in downtown St. Louis. American flag. Busch Stadium. Dog. Truly the recipe for a renaissance man here in 21st century.

May 10, 2006 - Upon the public display of the walking Busch Stadium advertisement, a fellow fan hunter catches a glimpse of an inebriated fan at a post game event donning an even-larger backtoo of the new Busch Stadium. Added bonus: Skin pepperoni, back hair, and some sort of third-nipple. Welcome to Baseball Heaven.

October 28, 2006 - Cardinals win World Series in their first season at the new Busch Stadium.

October 31, 2006 - Old school and new school sparetire-inked fans are spotted together at the World Series Rally in downtown St. Louis. Shirtless. If you got it, flaunt it.

August 22, 2007 - Almost a year after their first public spotting, the two fans are captured together again at a post-game bar outing.


Now that we're up to speed, let's peel off a layer of this onion. For a moment, let's completely forget the fact that tattoos of things that can suddenly disappear with the assistance of a large wrecking ball and a few sticks of dynamite are not the wisest financial investment. Let's forget about that for a moment.

After studying film, and consulting with our top sources, our Fan Hunters have observed two likely scenarios: 

a.) Fan A gains notoriety for old stadium tattoo, and prompts unrelated Fan B to get tattoo of new stadium. Fans meet at World Series Rally, tell each other how much they respect each other's work, and drink the night away with their common bond of tattooed architecture and affinity for Busch Light and Dale Earnhardt. The two have remained close ever since.

b.) Fan A and B have been friends for some time now. During a late night, with judgment clogged by malted hops and bong resin, the long time companions decide to get tattoos together. BFF.

I'm not sure which scenario is better or worse. Frankly, I don't care. I love them both....and them being together makes them like 5 times more intriguing and powerful. Sort of like the Power Rangers.

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someone cool, April 15, 2008 10:04 AM
what a queer
DFA, August 30, 2007 12:08 PM
I don't know why, but deep down in my soul I just just know that one of them is named Duane.
Brian H., August 30, 2007 09:08 AM
Fan w/ new Busch tat has gotten fatter since it was inked, making it appear the stadium facade is bulging out. The Busch Light isn't light enough.
Spring Break Spy Cam, August 30, 2007 06:08 AM
The new Busch guy manages to combine the jorts with the Zack Morris-sized cell phone belt holder. Well done.
Sebek, August 30, 2007 05:08 AM
truth,
I thought the same thing about his lack of tattoos in the most-recent picture. I promise no Photoshop doctoring. He must've had people paint on his back during the World Series parade (3rd pic).

The paint washed off. Unfortunately, his tattoo of a structure that no longer exists didn't.
Crusty, August 30, 2007 04:08 AM
How has no one mentioned how Old School appears to have gone with the complete face paint in the October '06 picture? Even though the pictures are cycling by way to fast to scrutinize completely, with the backtoo/face paint combo working...I'm thinking this may be John Wayne Gacy's illegimate son...seriously. Someone in St. Louis get on this ex post facto...
the truth, August 30, 2007 04:08 AM
by the way did you guys air brush out some of that dudes tatoos? The one with the dog. B/c it looks like he has lots of tatoo's in one picture and the other two he only has the dog and staduim.
the truth, August 30, 2007 04:08 AM
Rockin staduim Tatoo - check
Busch Light - check
Face Paint - check
Red Zubaz pants - nope
Mullet - nope
Conclusion - These guys do not equal the ultimate fan.
Kilo, August 30, 2007 03:08 AM
Just say the word.
Sebek, August 30, 2007 03:08 AM
Kilo, want to write my column next week?
Kilo, August 30, 2007 03:08 AM
And for anyone wondering, I have waaaaay to much time on my hands.
Kilo, August 30, 2007 03:08 AM
You forgot scenario c.) While both fans A and B are definitely NOT GAY, they do, from time to time, enjoy some man love, especially after getting riled up during a Cards game. Since they are both defintiely NOT GAY, they need a little help getting stimulated. Fan B has a vintage fettish, so fan A gave him the beloved old yard ink . Fan A likes 'em young, hence the new stadium. Fan B is also slightly into beastiality, so the dog helps, and he's an NRA member of the Republican Party, so the flag reminds him that he's still a patriot. And definitely NOT GAY.
Wyoming Street Resident, August 30, 2007 03:08 AM
Whats wrong with drinking Busch Light? Nothing goes better with a pork steak.
Ryan , August 30, 2007 03:08 AM
I see that Fan B still hasn't gathered enough dinero to get that St. Louis skyline filled in.
alex, August 30, 2007 03:08 AM
I want to rent these guys out for parties.

Denny Leonard

Denny Leonard vowed to seek immediate revenge on the Royals' Assistant to Public Relations for revoking his petition to start the Kansas City chapter of the KKK.

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