Few things in this world can disrupt the love and desire between a man and his thirst for accurately predicting the 2007 NFL MVP.  For Sean Salisbury, it doesn’t matter if it’s the heat of summer or Week 15 of the season, he’s going to do all he can as fast as he can to pick the right one. 

You might remember Salisbury’s historic 2006 quest, in which he named 9 different players as his prime candidate to win the MVP, as well as 3 players to win the defensive MVP, an award that doesn’t exist.

Three weeks ago, you might recall Salisbury predicting that Carson Palmer would be the 2008 winner --- so long as Chad Johnson has 2,000 yards receiving and Palmer converts between 70 and 75% of his passes, both of which would be either equal or set new NFL records. 

Since the ’07 season is just a day away from commencing, Salisbury thought he’d throw a little more coal in the MVP furnace:
 
"Can the (Bengals) defense do anything to keep them alive and in the playoff hunt?  If they can't, Carson Palmer's going to have to be the MVP of the league!"

"I'm convinced (Steven Jackson's) going to be in the MVP hunt.  He may end up with the best numbers of any back in the league this year!"

The MVP Watch is now in full effect.  The only question we have is this: what fuels Sean Salisbury’s obsession with predicting the MVP?  Our theories are as follows:

1. He was in the running for capturing team MVP honors his senior year in high school, but lost out when he fumbled during the final play of the state championship game only to recover his own fumble and take off running the wrong direction for a dramatic 50-yard safety.  Since then, it’s been his lifelong quest to “capture” MVP honors in some capacity.  As a TV talking head, a prediction is the only route possible.

2. He was in the running for capturing team MVP honors for his 9 and Under Pop Warner team, but was disqualified when officials learned that unbeknownst to him, he was really 12 years old. 

3. He is part of a complex gambling ring across 15 states where people pony up loads of cash in an attempt to guess the league MVP, and he’s using his post on ESPN to try to throw them off his the trail of who he thinks the real MVP will be.

4. He used to date a girl in high school named Michelle Vanessa Proctor and every time he hears the initials MVP it takes him back to those epic makeout sessions in the bed of his El Camino after practice. 

No matter what the answer, it’s clear that the guy likes to hand out pseudo-MVP awards like Halloween candy so that everyone can feel proud.

Crap that actually came from somebody's mouth
"I know as a former player, when I got my tail kicked, I wanted redemption.  I wanted to come back and prove that I'm a better player on the football field in the field of play.  So I can guarantee you that Cal players are going to go out there and give it their all and try to win this game.  Now, I'm not going to tell you who I'm going to pick to win but I will tell you, as a football player, I look at what Erik Ainge has done with this football team... they've got confidence." - Mark May

As football writers, we really love how arrogant Mark May – a former football player - can be in one College Football Live segment in which he does nothing but guarantee that Cal players will play hard and try to win the game.  As football writers, we’re very impressed.
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"They're a very good football team in a National Football program." - Ray Bentley, ESPN, on Appalachian State

To Bentley’s credit, he said this prior to Appalachian State’s upset victory.  Bonus points from us to him for inventing a new football acronym just to make the synopsis more football-licious. 
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"Jim Harbaugh, the new head football coach of the Stanford Cardinals, will face UCLA in their very first football game.  This is what Jim Harbaugh might typically say to his football team prior to taking the field, "Men, nobody thinks we can win this football game... men we can win this football game, but there are certain things we must do... maximum effort.  The average play in a football game is 6 seconds.  There is no reason we won't give maximum effort for 6 seconds... the most important thing we have to do, we MUST BE PHYSICAL!" - Lou Holtz

It took producers one whole hour to corral the College Football Live troops after they stormed out of the studio upon hearing that stirring pep-talk. 
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"(Hokies starting QB) Sean Glennon compared the impact that Virginia Tech could (potentially) have on Blacksburg healing the community -- what the Saints did for New Orleans after Katrina or what the Yankees did for New York after 9/11." – Rece Davis

Looking at Sean Glennon’s comparison from a literal standpoint, we are left to assume that

a) The New York Mets, along with the city’s football and hockey teams, did nothing to help in the rebuilding of New York after 9/11 because they weren’t championship caliber teams.  
b) The New Orleans Saints built homes and irrigation systems for the city.
c) A Hokies loss Saturday would have set the Virginia Tech community back in the healing process.
d) The act of all other Virginia Tech athletic teams and fans coming together isn’t nearly as big an impact in the healing process.
e) The simple act of Blacksburg residents and Hokies fans coming together for the opening game of the football season – win or lose - very likely brings a feeling of normalcy and comfort to those impacted by a senseless shooting.

The answer that the sports media loves to perpetuate is a-d.  The logical answer is “e”.
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"I don't understand why the fans were booing at me. I can't understand that." – Carlos Zambrano

Our guess is that it has something to do with the 30 earned runs you’ve given up in your last five starts, Carlos, but who the hell knows with Cubs fans.
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“(The Cardinals) have the toughest schedule amongst the three contenders (for the NL Central title), but many times you would rather face a team that has something on the line than a team that wants to be a spoiler.” – Al Hrabosky

Okay, Al, let’s make this a little more fun.  How about we put money down on the teams who are actually playing good enough baseball to be in contention in September and you put the same amount of money down on the bad teams who have sucked all year and thus are relegated to the role of “spoiler” and we’ll see who has more money in the end. 

See it’s not just the Sports Media
We often make fun of the sports media in this here column for pointing out completely obvious storylines and then strutting around as if they just blew open the Watergate scandal.  

But occasionally we pop our head outside of our little office (which is totally covered in sports posters and Fathead stickers, man) and check out the real world news to find out that, well, that they can be just as apt to uncover the obvious as the sports media. 

Take an article we just recently saw on CNN.com in the technology section of all places.  Here is the headline:

Let us recap the story for those not willing to waste another five minutes of their life on it – they did a study on men and found out that they prefer their women to be hot.  Ground breaking, we know. 

Next thing you know someone is going to unveil a study that shows that guys also like girls who are willing to have sex with them. 

Maybe the sports media isn’t that bad after all. 

Wait, We Take That Back
Now that Tiki Barber is a part of it, the sports media is that bad. 
 
According to the New York Daily News, in his new book, “Tiki: My Life in the Game and Beyond” everyone’s favorite self absorbed running back discusses how Giants coach Tom Coughlin stripped him of his joy for the game, eventually leading to his retirement. 

In typical Tiki fashion even with an issue as sour as his relationship with his ex-coach, there is some credit to be taken:

"It's a double-edged sword, because as much as Coach Coughlin helped me, I also helped Tom Coughlin,"

For any other athlete, we would probably assume that a vague quote like that was plucked out of context to create a stir.  With Tiki Barber, something tells us it was hand picked by the author himself. 

Bob Carpenter Memorial Snappy Line
It’s the era of good feeling at the Table of Snappy.  The Bobber has recently feasted on some good, hearty snappy lines after hitting a dry spell in August.  He now orders last week’s pupils Pat Parris and Bill Pidto to hand the baton to Carpenter Memorial veteran Rece Davis, who had a clever description of the Cal/Tennessee matchup in 2006:

"Last year on Rocky Top, a complete Rocky Flop for the Golden Bears!"

It’s clean.  It’s pure.  It’s a snappy good time.  It’s also a thumbs up and wink from the Memorial maestro, who is feeling frisky and just sent an e-vite to Rece with the request to join the him at this week’s Annie Lennox concert.     

The Media Circus is written by Josh Bacott and Pat Imig.  They swear this stuff is real.  Email them at info@joesportsfan.com