EBay is one of the great American phenomenons for a multitude of reasons.

Not only can you buy pretty much anything you've ever wanted but couldn't find, but you also occasionally stumble onto things that you didn't know you wanted like an autographed picture of the Bushwhackers (cost me $10 + shipping)

In addition to the products themselves, there are the descriptions of the products to entertain.  It's the seller's last ditch spiel to try to prove to you that you simply can't live without their product.   They can fall back on the sentimental angle, the rarity angle, or in the case of the one that we discovered today, they can use the "my girlfriend is a fat cow" angle.

A friend of the site brought our attention to a recently completed auction for a Taylor Made Fairway Wood Hybrid being sold by "backspingolfer".  Rather than talk up the finer points of the club - maybe expand on its touch or versatility on the course - he decided to spill his guts about how the club was representative of his recently-ended relationship.  His opening shot really draws the buyer in...

"Im selling this club because I finally left my fatass girlfriend who hated the fact that I loved to play golf. I bought this for her when hybrids first came out which was approximately 5 years ago or when she was 115 pounds lighter.  She stopped playing golf soon after I introduced her to the game and decided she would rather eat cookies and tacos as a sport.  When she decided to start playing again she realized that her hands were to swollen to grip the club properly from all the meat around her knuckles."

During the 800 word sales pitch, he refers to his girlfriend as a fatass, a hippo, "obese, retarded lady", Cyclops, the beast, lard ass and of course assures that all the proceeds will be going to "the Jenny Craig Obese Fund, C/O of the Cyclops".

So not only will your golf game improve, but you'll be making a charitable donation too.  Win-win.   

- CLICK HERE TO SEE THE EBAY AUCTION -