Boy, we sure are glad that NBC got their hands on the NFL again.  The network has been nothing short of a beacon of originality.  Just when we thought we'd seen all the ways networks could annoy us during a football broadcast, the peacock came along and put their own special twist on it.

Last week, they gave us NBC Universal’s Go Green campaign, which left Bob Costas and friends to tell scary stories in the dark and read their highlight scripts with the only illumination on set coming from Tiki Barber’s teeth. 

In preparation for the Colts and Chargers this past week, Dick Ebersol and the rest of the Football Night in America crew thought it would be most appropriate (read: make money via any means necessary) to cross promote the soon to be released Beowulf with the ensuing game.  Only for this advertising party, Peyton Manning replaced Beowulf as the Warrior… and LaDainian Tomlinson followed suit.  Nothing screams "let's play some football" like a well-timed promotion for a freaky computer enhanced fantasy movie based on a 2000 year old poem.  We just got out the pigskin at the mere mention of it.

After Beowulf had gotten us pumped for the game, it was the usual fun and games from Faith Hill for the Sunday Night Football intro, equipped with various NFL players posing as celebrities on the red carpet --- you know how we feel about red carpet in the sports world.  While Faith Hill isn’t our ideal candidate to sing about football (we prefer Schlereth), she’s certainly an upgrade over Pink in the voice and looks department – and the intro-singing celebrity is something we’ve learned to accept over the past few years. 

But upon closer inspection, the NBC song is actually a duet performed by Faith Hill and Sprint Mobile.  In the 82 second trailer, you see the Sprint logo 11 times, good for a ratio of 1 logo every 7.4 seconds.  At least NBC isn’t trying to hide the fact that Sprint is paying a lot of money for their placement in the spot, considering one of the producer’s names appears on a Sprint Blackberry. 

Beowulf, Faith Hill, Red Carpet, and Sprint cameos all before kickoff; like the song says, “hey Jack, it’s a fact, the NFL rocks on NBC.”     

Crap that actually came from somebody’s mouth
“Thanks to a pair of touchdown returns by Darren Sproles, one on the game's opening kickoff and another on a punt, the Chargers held a 16-0 lead before they completed their first pass (which didn't happen until 1:27 remained in the first quarter).” – Michael Silver, Yahoo Sports

We don’t disagree that the Chargers looked sluggish on offense Sunday night, but that stat about the first completion probably has a lot to do with the fact that two touchdowns came without giving Philip Rivers a chance to complete a pass.
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”If Indianapolis ends up winning this game, this will be one of the most improbable victories I have ever seen.” – Al Michaels

It’s our hope that Al Michaels has some sort of disease that forces him to forget that he called the Miracle on Ice.
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“At some point, you want to take a shot to score a touchdown.  You don’t want to, say, if you just wait, just for the field goal attempt then that just gives you one-way-go.  By going and trying to get the touchdown, then if you don’t make it and settle for a field goal, you have a two-way-go.” – John Madden

Madden quotes never translate well in print form, but just know that listening to the above blabber was equivalent to listening to Madden discuss how to make a grilled cheese sandwich.  You knew what he was trying to say, but listening to him try to say it made your head spin. 
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”Go back to Carolina 2 weeks ago, they blitzed Manning and caused him problems.  Last week, New England did and that is now the formula. San Diego in the first half… blitz, blitz, blitz, rattle rattle rattle… they have unlocked the key to Peyton Manning and I am concerned.” – Jay Mariotti

It’s not even the fact that one can’t physically unlock a key that gets us with Jay’s comment.  It’s the fact that he believes blitzing and pressuring a quarterback is the secret formula to stopping a quarterback.
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Greatest Cliché in the Media Circus Set for Revival
Don’t say we didn’t warn you about the Greatest Cliché on Turf making a comeback at some point this year.  Even if it’s just to say they aren’t as good as they were when the nickname fit, you can trust that the media will find a way to work in their cliche when discussing the St. Louis Rams. 

It’s the Jason Voorhees of sports nicknames – it’s just won’t die. 

”St. Louis figures to get back Pro Bowl running back Steven Jackson for today's game. And while "The Greatest Show on Turf," isn't what it used to be, the Saints' defense will be shorthanded.” – Larry Holder, Sun Herald (pre-game)

”The Rams have been anything but "The Greatest Show on Turf" this season, as injuries have slowed their offense. Bulger and Bruce have each missed two weeks, while Jackson has missed four.” – Brady Aymond, The Daily Advertiser

”The Greatest Show on Turf may be back in production or at least, pre-production.” – Kenny Mayne

“Sunday at the Louisiana Superdome, the Rams produced a blast from the past, a three-hour reprisal of the "Greatest Show" era. It was reminiscent of a time when the coach called daring plays, a Pro Bowl quarterback zipped precision passes to graceful receivers, and an undersized defense buzzed with energy.”  – Bernie Miklasz, St. Louis Post-Dispatch

”This was the team we expected to see from the start of the season. Too bad The Greatest Show on Turf waited until halfway through to strut its stuff.” – Bob Glauber, Newsday

Bill Plaschke Doesn’t Watch College Football
“Kansas does not deserve any of this.  They have the 86th toughest schedule in the country.  They’ve beaten teams like Southeast Louisiana – I didn’t even know there was a team called Southeast Louisiana.  They’ve played a horrific schedule.” 

They’ve played a soft schedule up to this point, yes.  But even a Mizzou grad (Imig) and a lifelong Mizzou fan (Bacott) can concede that with two of their final three games against Top 5 teams, they will earn whatever they get.  And note to Plaschke, as a professional journalist it makes you sound stupid when you claim you’ve never heard of a team. 

“They’ve beaten nobody.”

No one will confuse the teams KU has beaten up to this point as BCS powerhouses, but road victories at K-State, at Colorado, at Texas A&M and at Oklahoma State aren’t exactly cake walks.

”They’re in a conference that is really weak this year.”

Three teams in the BCS Top 5 right now, four in the Top 15.  Need we say more?

“Last year the Big Ten had two teams in the Top 5 and that’s a terrible conference.”

Well, it wasn’t a terrible conference last year…when it had two teams in the Top 5. 

”No team in the Big 12 can match the speed of Oregon and LSU.  No team can match the athleticism of those two teams… Oregon is the best team in the country right now.”

So tell us, Bill, who has Oregon beaten this year?

”Oregon beat Michigan!”

MICHIGAN --- ah, yes, that famous team from what was deemed a “terrible conference” just seconds earlier.  Amazing how versatile those Big 10 teams can be – one second their proof of how terrible the conference is, the next they’re the crown jewel on a national championship resume.   


Bob Carpenter Memorial Snappy Line
The Bobber isn’t much on action flicks.  All those guns and blood and cursing -  no thanks.  Give him a bag of microwave popcorn and a romantic comedy starring Meg Ryan and he’s in heaven. 

Needless to say, he wasn’t terribly impressed with Al Michaels attempt at humor this Sunday night:

“The Chargers have pulled off the greatest escape since Charles Bronson.” – Al Michaels

Charles Bronson huh?  The same Charles Bronson who starred in Death Wish about a crazed vigilante hoodlum? Nice message being sent to our youth, Al.  Three thumbs down – two from Bob and one from Meg Ryan.   

The Media Circus is written by Josh Bacott and Patrick Imig.  They have a great strength of schedule.  E-mail them at info@joesportsfan.com