You suck

It's been a horrible November for Hulk Hogan and his family, suggesting that Hogan now knows worst (***).  Son Nick was arrested for reckless driving involving serious bodily injury, use of a motor vehicle in commission of a felony, a person under the age of 21 operating a vehicle with a breath-alcohol level of .02 or higher, and illegal window tint.  Nick's friend, John Graziano, will require lifelong care in a nursing home as a result of the car accident which occurred with Nick Hogan behind the wheel.

Sure, it was an accident, but if the Hogan Knows Best series is any indicator, Nick Hogan has a history of speeding and driving recklessly - and the Hulkster failed to drop the leg (clever) on his son for consistently driving like a douchebag.  After Nick "Hogan" Bollea was arrested, the Hogan family released a statement regarding the arrest...

"Nick and the entire Hogan Bollea family are saddened that criminal charges have been filed in regards to the tragic single car accident on August 26, 2007. Nick will meet and answer these charges in the appropriate arena, a court of law. The family's primary focus and concern still remains for the continued recovery of Nick's longtime friend John Graziano. The Bollea's will also continue to stand by the Graziano family and help them in any way they can."

So far so good.  Then this little hitch jumped into the fray:

"The tragedy to both families is compounded by the fact that unfortunately, John was not wearing his seatbelt. Thankfully, Nick was wearing his. Because of what happened to John, the entire Bollea family will make it a priority to increase public awareness about the importance of always wearing your seatbelt.

There has been much speculation as to the speed and wet road conditions surrounding this accident. Although all the evidence has not been evaluated, preliminary reports from the experts indicate that this was not, in fact, a high-speed accident. Because Nick is still a juvenile and has no prior criminal record, we are disappointed that he is being charged as an adult offender. However, we are confident that the evidence will demonstrate that this was an accident. We ask all who follow these events to keep an open mind as to the facts until they have been ultimately determined. Finally, we thank all who have prayed for John's recovery and ask for your continued support and prayers."

Yes.  We're sorry and sad and we will pray... but tell your near-dead-vegetable son to wear his seat belt.  NICK DID. 
 
This past weekend, it was announced that Hulk and Linda were getting divorced, much to the surprise of the Hulkster, who was informed of the events by a reporter.  According to TMZ.com:

"When the reporter told Hulk that Linda had filed for divorce, he simply said "Thank you for the great information" and then hung out. Minutes later, he called the reporter back and said "I'm kind of shocked ... You caught me off-guard. Holy smokes. Wow, you just knocked the bottom out of me."

Hogan then issued a public statement:

"Please respect my family's privacy at this time with all that we have been through. I care for my wife and my children are my world and I just hope this all works out."

Before that was ingrained in the media's head, it was revealed that Linda was essentially robbing the Hulkster for everything he owned:

"Linda requested that wherever she ends up living should be the permanent residence of Nick Hogan and that Hulk will get "liberal visitation." She also requested child support from Hulk, that Hulk pay for Nick's medical insurance, and that a life insurance policy be taken out that would cover all future child support of Hulk dies. She also wants to equally divide all of their assets and property. Linda also wants Hulk to pay her attorney costs since she claims she cannot afford an attorney."

At this point, I thought it was a given that Hulk Hogan would swallow his pride and bury his petty (and never ending) differences with Vince McMahon and go crawling back to WWE in time for a hyped WrestleMania appearance or match, just to make a few bucks, especially given WrestleMania XXIV's location being the Citrus Bowl.  The one thing that could make the Hulkster happy again is 60,000 screaming hooligans and some extra change, if only for one night.  

Then the St. Petersburg Times came out with the story that the Hogan divorce might be a work, which is wrestling-speak for "not real". 

"Nick Bollea faces a felony charge of reckless driving with serious bodily injury, and attorneys for John Graziano's estranged parents have said they intend to file a lawsuit as a result of the crash.  But if the Supra and the Viper are not registered to both parents, it could be harder to go after Mrs. Bollea individually, Kohn said. The mother's degree of control over who used the vehicles would have to be determined."

Even if the Graziano camp is wrong with their assumption that the divorce is a move to save family assets, this whole story and process once again proves how shady and selfish Hulk Hogan the person is.  Maybe if he'd quit striving to be a media whore at all costs and cease the airing of family life on cable television and occasionally discipline his son for driving like an idiot, the accident could have been prevented and a 22 year old Marine wouldn't be helpless his whole life. 

It's why I say the name of the VH-1 show should change to "Hogan Knows Douche". 

UPDATE: (cue Unsolved Mysteries music)
It appears Hulk Hogan was with his son Nick and their friends when alcohol was purchased.  Yikes - for Terry Bollea anyway.

The most shocking new detail from the report is that Hulk Hogan was with Nick, John Graziano (who was severly injured later in the car crash), and two of their friends, Barrett Lawrance and Daniel Jacobs, when he purchased two cases of Miller Lite beer, two cases of Corona beer, one case of Miller Chill beer, and five bags of ice from a Albertson's store in Clearwater, FL. The report says that Hogan and the boys carred the alcohol together from the store.