Cody Ellis’ Real-Life Girlfriend Responsible for Hairdo Featuring Blue Racing Stripe
Last week we reported on Illinois head coach John Groce’s successful hairdo, or lack thereof. In keeping with the same theme, we’d like to spotlight St. Louis University senior forward Cody Ellis, who has the 12-4 Billikens on a streak of his own this season – a blue streak to be exact.
Recently, Ellis appeared on a local television broadcast to show off the new ‘do, which he has been sporting since late last summer.
Ellis claimed his girlfriend was the one that actually performed the dye job – his real girlfriend, not a fake one that he’s only met online and may or may not have had long meaningful phone conversations with. Or at least, that’s what JSF’s team of private investigators is attempting to determine.
Reportedly, the blue streak has been well received by SLU students and fans alike, not to mention Amazon downloads of the movie Blue Streak – a 1999 action comedy starring Martin Lawrence – have risen by two percent from their previous high of zero.
However, no mentions have been made of the Mohawk/mullet hybrid on stltoday.com’s SLU Talk message board by djj87, the user responsible for 98% of the posts in that forum.
By the way, phrase “SLU Talk” is but a spacebar press away from “SLUTalk.” Just thought I’d point that out.
While definitely a bold statement, historically speaking Ellis is not alone in his endeavor. The hair-dying ventures of past St. Louis sports stars have met with mixed success.
Scott Spiezio colored his soul patch a mighty Cardinal red, and rode its holistic powers to a World Series championship in 2006. But then, he also formed the band Sandfrog. Not to mention the incident in which he got blasted, crashed his car, fled on foot to his friend’s condo, vomited in his friend’s condo, and then beat the ever-living crap out of his friend for having the audacity to object to his condo being vomited in.
1979 Co-MVP Keith Hernandez has spent the better part of the last decade playing a fake sportscaster. He’s also starred in like, a million Just For Men commercials, as a man obsessed with helping vain older dudes with Peter Pan complexes become better cradle-robbers, not to mention ex-jocks who just can’t seem to bag as many groupies as they once could in their prime. It looks so natural, no one can tell – except for anyone who’s seen you in the past seven years.