Creepy Rams Fan Featured Prominently On NFL Kids Site

05
Sep
2012

NFLRush.com touts itself as the official NFL site for kids. It’s a veritable cornucopia of online games, contests, fantasy football, youth football leagues, and NFL Play 60 – the NFL’s campaign to encourage kids to be active for 60 minutes a day in order to help reverse the trend of childhood obesity.

The site does a recurring segment called “What’s This Crazy Fanatic Thinking?” where pictures of rabid fans are posted and kids are encouraged to ad lib the fanatic’s thoughts, and then vote to see whose caption is the best.

While these things are all well and good, the fanatic photo that popped up on the St. Louis Rams’ page recently is a little, well, disturbing. See for yourself, along with the kids’ comments:

Let’s be honest, this picture is good, old-fashioned nightmare fuel. And while the kiddos do a pretty good job of spoofing – with perhaps the exception of “I’ve never been happy” Hermie5 (might want to check on that kid) – I’m not sure they quite captured the essence of this photo.

So with all due respect to the little ones, we trotted out our JSF staff of “professional” satirists to come up with some captions we feel are more representative of the photo. So let’s see it one more time. Feel free to vote on which caption you think is best, or add one of your own. Please to enjoy:

  1. “Hey buddy, which way to the ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ orgy?”
  2. “You think I’m hideous? Imagine what Sam Bradford will look like after another year behind our offensive line.”
  3. “You could say that my mask represents Tragedy from ancient Greek theater. The Rams’ third-down conversion percentage? That’s Comedy.”
  4. “Don’t fall asleep during a fourth quarter blowout, or I’ll sneak into your section and murder you. Go Rams!”

Wait a minute, I just realized who this crazy fanatic is. It’s that guy from those edgy, in-your-face Ram Rules videos, or at least a close relative.

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