How Could the Rams Play So Poorly In Chicago?

26
Sep
2012

It seemed as though the St. Louis Rams had turned a major corner in their home opener against the Washington Redskins. No longer the impotent doormat patsies of recent years, these Rams have fight in them. These Rams are if nothing else, entertaining to watch.

Then the Rams went up to Chicago and returned to their old ways, once again looking completely out of it, lost, even bewildered.

This against a Chicago Bears team that was coming off a spanking at the hands of the Green Bay Packers, and led by an enigmatic, struggling quarterback in Jay Cutler, playing behind a crumbling offensive line.

Not only that, but this week we found out that Cutler is an avid smoker. Yes, his nicotine habit is apparently so bad he is even known to light up during games. Don’t believe me?

But this is only the tip of the iceberg. Apparently Cutler’s smoking habit goes all the way back to his years in Denver.

So how could the Rams lose to a guy that so flagrantly flaunts his health in a game that demands its participants be in top physical condition at all times? Our Joe Sports Fan photography crew was in Chicago, and may have some answers. Turns out uninspiring play was but one of many disgusting old habits thwarting the Rams’ cause.

I guess lighting up a few smokey treats is nothing compared to hitting the crack pipe in between offensive possessions. No wonder Steven Jackson spikes the ball in anger outside the end zone. He probably doesn’t even know where he is half the time.

Jackson spent the day running behind a Rams offensive that often looked worse than the Bears’. I guess it doesn’t help when your center is snorting lines of coke through hundred dollar bills at the line of scrimmage – might affect some of his protection scheme calls, maybe causes him to take a few extra risks. Just throwing it out there.

Rookie kicker Greg Zuerlein was a lone bright spot on the day, impressively connecting on both of his field goal attempts. Still, that doesn’t mean you get to bring your can of Budweiser on the field with you. This is the NFL, not co-ed beer league softball.

I can actually make a justification for a kicker wanting to calm his nerves with a King before a big attempt. But there’s really no justification for Mike McNeill downing a pony keg like he’s at a frat party.  You’re the pride of Kirkwood High School man, maybe you should think about all those little Pioneers that look up to you.

I’ve got to admit, one of the toughest things you can ask a defensive back to do is stick with Brandon Marshall without spilling his pomegranate martini.

Yes, Sunday’s game may have been kind of a buzzkill, but the plane ride home was no doubt one hell of a party.

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