Suck on this Oklahoma. Signed, Missouri

30
Aug
2011

Dear Oklahoma,

Yeah, we know that you smoked Missouri in two consecutive Big 12 championship games, one of which scrapped any plans Tigers fans had for a BCS title game in 2007.  We also know that you had Sam Bradford as the quarterback of an offense that racked up a tidy 100 points in those two games.

We want you to know that, while we were never able to exact revenge when Bradford was on the team, we’re still not satisfied in the way you spoiled our party.  So last year we took the first step in our sinister revenge plot by going the jealousy route.  We had one of the teams in our state draft Sam to be our NFL quarterback.  Now we get to root for Bradford while you’re still watching that lame college football sham.

And just in case you hadn’t gotten the message that Missouri will win this war, we unveiled another move just the other day:

Read that first paragraph again, Sooner fan.  You want your golden boy to be there to celebrate his domination over Mizzou by erecting a statue of him at your stadium?  Well, we’ll make sure that his schedule is a little too full to make an appearance.  We’ve got that kind of power.

Maybe next year, we’ll see if the Chiefs can fire Todd Haley and bring in old Bob Stoops.

Just know that when it comes to dislike of Oklahoma football, our entire state is united.

Sincerely,
Missouri

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