“Zero Dark Fifty” is fast approaching

Nearly two years ago, the world embraced the blockbuster of “Albertageddon“.  The tale of young Dominican boy between the ages of 31 and 48 swept through mid-America on a journey westward while tormenting the inhabitants of the Gateway City.  And who could forget that irreplaceable soundtrack featuring Aerosmith’s, “I Don’t Want To Miss a Mang”?  Mmm.

The epic story resulted in an equally-chilling movie poster and the city of St. Louis mournfully transitioned to post-apocalyptic  baseball in the hopes that they would never experience such fear and betrayal on the big screen again.  They saw glimpses in 2012′s indie film “Molinatastrophe”, but with the recent departure of Chris Carpenter and another unsigned fan favorite, St. Louis is primed for colossal box office panicking in the coming months.

zero-dark-fifty-small

Click the poster above for the enlarged version.

We hear that the owner of Pappy’s Smokehouse turns in an Oscar-worthy performance.

Side note: tip of the cap to @shaw0n for the “Zero Dark Fifty” suggestion.

Limited Edition St. Louis Sports Valentine Cards

They’ve become a JoeSportsFan staple in recent years.  Thus, we’re happy to present another round of exclusive Valentine’s Day cards.  Pass them along to that special someone on Thursday.  Man, woman, cute dog, whatever*.  They’ll appreciate it.  Trust us.

* We will not attend parent/teacher conferences if you child distributes these at school.

valentines-matheny

valentines-halak

valentines-fisher

valentines-carpenter

valentines-backes

valentines-amendola

valentines-mabry

valentines-hitchcock

valentines-jenkins

valentines-wainwright

valentines-tarasenko

valentines-day-long

valentines-motte

valentines-les-snead

Legopiece Theater: Dugout Abbey — Chris Carpenter Holds A Press Conference

Hello, I am Alex Fritz. I like to play with LEGOs. Last year, I played with LEGOs on SBNation St Louis. The people who own that site (and/or BIG INTERNET) decided to shut it down, probably around the time they realized they were paying a 32 year old man to play with LEGOs. I didn’t go to business school, but it seems like something that was probably covered. Makes sense.

So, now I’m playing with LEGOs here. At JoeSportsFan. The website you are currently reading. On the internet. You’re still reading this? Honestly that’s kind of surprising. I’m not really going anywhere. Stop it.

If you are unfamiliar with the corner of the universe that is Legopiece Theater: Dugout Abbey, this is a hyperlink that will take you to the archives. You’ll find a lot of plot holes. Don’t worry about those.

Thank you for reading my introduction. I hope you enjoy this episode, which begins immediately following this paragraph. Why am I still wri–

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