Is Fisher Omission From Goulet Finalists Pool Fair?

Today the American Mustache Institute released its 2013 Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year award, perhaps the most important award in the global award space.

Yet ominously missing was St. Louis Rams Coach Jeff Fisher, the Mustached American icon whom I interviewed last year for ESPN — and man who is possibly the greatest cocksman this side of Tiger Woods — when he was married.

Keep in mind that the Goulet award is not a “best mustache” contest but recognizes the person best contributing to the sexually dynamic Mustached American lifestyle over the past year, with the winner will be announced at ‘Stache Bash 2013 Presented by Wahl Trimmers, on October 26 in Pittsburgh.GouletSidebarBaner_2013_VOTE

But I ask you — who’s done more for the mustache not just in St. Louis, but nationwide, over the past year?

No one, that’s who.

“The Goulet award finalists are a best-in-class of the past year’s Mustached American people,” AMI Chairman Dr. Adam Paul Causgrove said of the Goulet award, which in recent years the award has been called on par with the Nobel Prize for Peace by astrophysicist Stephen Hawking. “Some 900 other worthy candidates were left on the cutting room, but come ‘Stache Bash 2013 in Pittsburgh, we will crown a deserving winner and toast their greatness.”

Yeah? But why not Fisher?

The 2013 finalist pool is an interesting one – you can see the list in full here – as it includes Ron Burgundy and Brian Fantana; St. Louis-area woodworker and master craftsman Dave Stine; Boston bombing suspect nabber David Henneberry; Bryan Harper who plays in the Washington Nationals organization; National Hockey League’s Mike Brown of the Edmonton Oilers; and the annual animated finalist — Cartoon Network’s Uncle Grandpa.

When pushed about Fisher’s omission, all Dr. Causgrove would say is, “It’s up to the people and Mr. Fisher, while bold and beautiful, was not nominated.”

Regardless, whether or not leaving off Fisher is fair or not, at least we can take heart knowing that one St. Louis sports star is deeply associated with the Goulet award — new Cards closer John Axford won the award in 2011.

So at least we’ve got that.



St. Louis Rams Steadily Becoming Contenders

Fans of the St. Louis Rams will be hoping that this is the season in which their current team finally comes good. A divisional record of 4-1-1 in 2012 showed that this occasionally inconsistent roster of players can more than hold their own against heavy hitters like the Seattle Seahawks and the San Francisco 49ers. Being in the same division as teams like that, though, does the Rams’ play-off chances no favors.

Finding an easier division to play in is not a practicable solution to to the Rams’ search for success, though. Anyone who enjoys a bet on the NFL at a site such as will know that, on their day, the Rams can beat anyone. But they can also lose to anyone, as a 7-8-1 overall winning record shows. It should be noted that that record was a significant improvement on the previous season’s 2-14 mark.

The Rams certainly have the quarterback in place who can lead them around the field, though some doubts still remain about Sam Bradford’s true level of ability. Bradford has sometimes struggled to show the form that saw him become the first overall pick in the 2010 draft. It is true that he has never had the kind of attacking options around him that he did in his college days at Oklahoma, though.

Certainly, Rams coach Jeff Fisher is anticipating more from the 25-year-old, who he expects to benefit from having a higher calibre of offensive options around him. If he begins to fulfil his true potential this season, then fans of betting on the NFL may yet get some good value out of Brown.

The Rams’offense was not what it should have been last season, with the offensive line often failing to give Bradford the protection he needs to function at his best. The Rams hierarchy have moved to remedy that situation, and have added Jake Long at left tackle. Long should be able to offer more in support of his quarterback than his predecessor, Jason Smith, could. Smith is now, incidentally, warming up for the start of the new season with the New York Jets, after being traded for Wayne Hunter.

NFL betting fans who show an interest in the Rams in 2013 will hope that Long can show the form he was capable of before 2012. He should still be able to improve the offensive line, after the occasionally abject lows of recent years. He will be helped in the offensive line by new tight end Jared Cook. Cook offers much more than blocking, and will probably be used to run vertical routes, highlighting his power and athleticism as he provides more options for Brown.

Another key addition to the offense is wide receiver Tavon Austin, whose overall mobility is a quarterback’s dream. The highly versatile Austin, who once rushed for 500 yards in a single game while at college, should cause opposing defenses plenty of problems. Add the likes of Chris Givens and Brian Quick, and the attacking options begin to look quite good for the Rams. Anyone looking at the NFL odds for successful offenses during the new campaign should probably give the team a closer look.

Of course, any devotee of NFL online betting will know that teams do not win games simply by being good offensively. Defense is key to any successful football team. The Rams’ poor offense of recent seasons has served to distract many from just how well their defense actually worked. A -49 point differential might not show it, but there are some effective and dynamic performers in this Rams defensive outfit.

Two of the stand-out players have been defensive tackle Michael Brockers and defensive end Robert Quinn. Both of these players are quick and mobile, and are able to reach opposing quarterbacks. They also complement each other well. Kendall Langford, William Hayes and Eugene Sims also add depth and strength to the defensive line. Add in a top linebacker like the evergreen Will Witherspoon, and other players like the occasionally controversial cornerback Janoris Jenkins, and the Rams look good defensively.

NFL online betting fans may yet be rewarded for showing some patience with Jeff Fisher’s men this time around.

There are St. Louis Cardinals fans (correction: murderers) in Chicago!

Arguably, crime in our metro area can’t get any worse.

So St. Louis Cardinals fans have resorted knocking off people in other cities.  Well, kinda.

This from today’s Chicago Tribune:

Police said they were looking into whether the shooting was gang-related.  Police believe Colon belonged to a gang that apparently posted a video on YouTube two days ago, with one member flashing a gun and others yelling threats at a rival gang.

One of the men in the video had tattoos on his face and wore a black hoodie with a large yellow St. Louis Cardinals logo on the front.  Another wore a red skull cap with the St. Louis Cardinals logo, similar to a hat worn by Colon in his Facebook photo. The gang wears clothes with the Cardinals logo because it is based along St. Louis Avenue, according to sources.


Face tats and Cardinals gear??  Yadier Molina is still at Spring Training, right?

We suppose the tie to St. Louis Avenue makes sense, although we don’t have any gangs off of Illinois Ave. in South City strutting around in Bulls and Cubs gear.  Our thugs tote the “STL” proud in this neck of the woods.  A more probable estimation is that these Chicagoan hooligans are the smartest criminals the Land of Lincoln has ever seen.

“Oh, a witness saw the shooter wearing a Cardinals hat?  Eh, must be another St. Louisan visiting.  Why can’t they just kill their own people?  Detective Johnson, send another letter to that Mayor Slay nincompoop.”

Look for a budding Chicago alderman to get behind the aforementioned clothing details and act swiftly; propose a ban of all Cardinals clothing in that ward.   The Cardinals don’t visit Wrigley until May 7th this season, so he has a little time.

Then, if the gangbangers start wearing Jeff Fisher mustaches instead, we’ll know they’re DEFINITELY tied to St. Louis Avenue.  It’s all conjecture at this point.

Limited Edition St. Louis Sports Valentine Cards

They’ve become a JoeSportsFan staple in recent years.  Thus, we’re happy to present another round of exclusive Valentine’s Day cards.  Pass them along to that special someone on Thursday.  Man, woman, cute dog, whatever*.  They’ll appreciate it.  Trust us.

* We will not attend parent/teacher conferences if you child distributes these at school.