Oh, Goodie. Another radio station promotion.

The Cardinals’ regular season is just under two weeks away, which means radio outlets in St. Louis are getting their ducks in a row. Exclusive interviews, featured segments, and of course, branded swag.

101 ESPN unleashed a proof of their new product line via Facebook this afternoon, which hinges upon Chris Duncan’s use of the word “man soda”. You see, that’s a clever substitute for “beer”, people.

101-espn-koozy

“100% MAN SODA APPROVED”

Well, now we’re confused. Is the man soda the one doing the approving of the man soda? That’s meta. And also: stupid. Why not, “This is my man soda”? Or, “Approved for my man soda”? Or, maybe, just not doing anything at all?

Typically, the masses that follow 101 ESPN lap up anything and everything related to the afternoon co-host, but even they were largely unimpressed with this effort. Among the complaints: they’re blue (read: the color that the Cubs wear), they’re sponsored by Miller-Coors (read: not Anheuser-Busch) and they’re stupid (read: they’re stupid). Frankly, we’re consistently impressed that radio outlets can sell something like this to a major brand…but selling a dedicated website banner is beyond their capabilities.

Anyway, early reviews are not good. Really, the only person impressed with this whole ordeal is Wally. Wally kinda sorta dug the idea, but only expressed his feelings through a back-handed compliment. A compliment that 101 ESPN gladly accepted and produced a free beer koozie for Wally.

101-espn-koozy-comments

But, wait.

101 ESPN said that they’ll send one out tomorrow? So, they’re already printed? The image above looks like a proof image. You know, something you send around for approval and/or feedback. We have plenty; as did 101 ESPN’s followers. But, apparently they’re already printed. Oh well. Hope you like, um, this.

That’s like Bernie Miklasz writing his Sunday column and bringing the actual printed newspaper to his editor to proofread on Monday.

We hope Wally has a need for 999 additional beer (sorry, man soda) koozies.

Thanks, we’ll hang up and listen.

EXCLUSIVE AUDIO: How 1380′s new station “THE WOMAN” was created

Last week, Dan Caesar announced that 590 KFNS and 1380 SHIT are undergoing a management and marketing shift while dividing and conquering the local radio demographic.  We’re still not convinced that this isn’t an elaborate April Fool’s Day ploy, but moving forward, 590 AM will be known as “THE MAN” and 1380 AM will be known as “THE WOMAN”.

You see, “THE MAN” is going to talk about man things and “THE WOMAN” is going to talk about woman things.  Mind: blown, right?

Perhaps the biggest issue is that radio guys think they know what men want to listen to; namely, locker room chatter and tons of veiled penis references.  Can you imagine these same guys pondering over a radio lineup on 1380 “THE WOMAN”?  Thankfully, we didn’t have to imagine…because we obtained EXCLUSIVE audio from their brainstorming session.

Note: this skit will appear in this week’s JoeSportsFan Show podcast. Check it out on Friday.

Postgame Show Caller Profile: The Obscene Phone Caller

Postgame radio call-in shows are much more than mindless filler between the final buzzer and the return to “regularly scheduled programming”. It’s our chance to hear what our fellow fans think, live and unedited. And any time you let a random jerk off the street opine, you never know what you’re going to hear.

Typically, callers fall into one of the following categories: doom-and-gloomers (“The sky is falling!”), Stepford fans (“We should just blindly support everything and everyone associated with the team no matter what like mindless sheep.”), uneducated rubes, attention whores, and finally, a tiny smattering of normal people.

Oh wait, I left out one category: the obscene phone caller. These are the people that hang on the line, sometimes for 30-40 minutes or longer, waiting to say something only a person with the maturity level of a third-grader would find funny (i.e. me). Case in point, this caller, who chimed in following a recent Fighting Illini basketball game:

Since the opponent on this night was Penn State, it’s difficult to tell whether the caller was going for some kind of Jerry Sandusky-related joke or he was simply compelled to blurt out a random ‘cock and balls’ on the air. Either way, good show. This is one obscene phone call that would make even Rockwell proud.

It’s one thing for such chicanery to be broadcast live, but it’s also interesting to note that the ‘cock and balls’ were not edited out of the resulting podcast. Nope, instead these ‘cock and balls’ were left untouched, and thus available for all of us to enjoy. Not really sure what that says about the show’s producer (or the person that wrote this last sentence, frankly).