Oh St. Louis Rams, bless your collective hearts. You are a franchise that just cannot catch a break. Playing your first Monday night game in seven years, the eyes of the St. Louis sports world should have been fixated solely on you today.
Then the American League had to go and win the All-Star Game, and the St. Louis Cardinals had to go and make another World Series. (I know one of those things should be irrelevant, but stupidly, it’s not.)
Top it all off with a little season-ending injury to your starting quarterback, and now the only question that remains is, will anyone actually show up to the Edward Jones Dome tonight?
Well, with any luck, the St. Louis Rams Douche Club will be there:
Say hello to the first boy band of St. Louis football. They’ve no doubt been rocking half-empty stadiums for quite some time. From left to right, there’s Mickey, the nerdy one; Justin (a.k.a. J-Dawg), the rebel; Brian, the soulful one; Rex (a.k.a. Bone a.k.a. T-Bone a.k.a. B-Dawg), the party animal; and John Stamos’ nephew, Steven Stamos. No word on whether he also does Elvis impersonations.
As you can see, the only thing these guys love more than the Rams is an empty crowd and a bored cameraman with nothing else to film during a blowout.
So when you, um, watch the Rams game tonight, be sure to look for the St. Louis Rams Douche Club. If they’re there, they’ll be pretty easy to spot. We hope.