Weekly Hypothetical: One STL athlete takes over a famous Hollywood role. Go.
2012
From a quick glance at his stats, we’re going to go ahead and assume that Colby Rasmus’ brief foray into the world of cornrows was done as an atypical method of busting his most recent slump. On Base Percentage down a few ticks? Braiding your hair can cure that. Pretty sure Bill James came up with that theory years ago.
Or was it for other reasons? Was it a joke to loosen up teammates? Was it a strange sign of independence aimed at his previous manager? Perhaps he just watched the movie ’10′ for the first time and loved Bo Derek’s hair?
What we know is that when Colby pulls a stunt like that, we’re finding a way to mock it on JoeSportsFan. That’s a fact, brother. So the instant we saw a photo of his new dome, our minds started running through the inevitable Hypothetical scenarios and now we need your input…
Let’s go:
In an effort to curb his slump, former Cardinal Colby Rasmus opted to braid his hair into cornrows, prompting comparisons to Bo Derek from the movie ’10′.
Naturally, this begs the question, who from the St. Louis sports scene, past or present, would make the best transition to the big screen, and which character from Hollywood lore would he or she play? David Eckstein as Macaulay Culkin from Home Alone? You’re the casting director, now get to work and justify your selection.
We’ll read the top three answers on Episode 20 of The JoeSportsFan Show this Friday and give a JSF logo t-shirt to the lucky individual that scores top honors.
You can throw your hat into the ring one of three ways:
1.) Leave a comment below.
2.) Email us: theshow@joesportsfan.com.
3.) Send us a message on Twitter at @JoeSportsFan.
If you’ve got a thing for Twitter hashtags, slap #JSFHypothetical on your response.
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Jason Isringhausen as Phil “Landfill” Krundle in Beerfest. As most would imagine Izzy knows his way around a brewery and taking down fried foods. Might need some help from Colby in the hot dog eating competition though.
Willie McGee as Lotney ‘Sloth’ Fratelli from The Goonies.
http://www.toptenz.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Sloth.jpg
Kevin Slaten as Jabba the Hutt:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPcod8IS214
Willie McGee as E.T.
thats too obvious haha
The cast of Pulp Fiction as follows
Mike Matheny as John Travolta’s character Vincent Vega
Matt Holliday as Bruce Willis’ character Butch Coolidge
Terry Pendleton as Ving Rhames’ character Marcellus Wallace
Lou Brock as Samuel L. Jackson’s character Jules Winfield
and for the hell of it
Dee Dee Pujols as Uma Thurman’s character Mia Wallace
I’m not going by looks or appearances on this one, but by an incident alone: Brendan Shanahan reprising Tom Cruise’s role in a remake of Risky Business.
Craig Janney can serve as a consultant if you he abides.
Cam Janssen as Happy Gilmore. Not sure he ever tried to stab anyone with his skate, but he has the hockey skills that are equivalent to that of Happy Gilmore.
Let’s stick with Happy Gilmore…Jeff Fisher as Ben Stiller’s character the nurse at old folks home…”No but you can trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up.”
Mark McGwire as the ugly little red-haired turd in “Son in Law”
Quin Snyder as George Jung in “Blow”
Matheny as Wooderson in “Dazed and Confused”
Colby Rasmus as Sam in “I am Sam”
Spiezio as Todd Parker in “Boogie Nights”
Tony Rasmus as Doyle in “Sling Blade”
Jeff Weaver as Bode in “point break”
Edmonds as either Johnny in “karate kid” or Biff in “back to the future”
Ozzie Smith as Tyler Perry and every character he plays.
Les Snead as Matthew McConaughey’s character in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.”
A little “on the nose” but he can change the catch phrase to:
“I love Draft Picks; I keep getting older, they stay the same age.”
Ashlee Feldman as Stifler’s Mom
How about Brandon Dickson playing B-Rabbit (Eminem’s character) in “8 Mile”. Hair matches already.
Kurt Warner could lose a few pounds and take Jim Caviezel’s spot in The Passion of the Christ.
Sam Bradford could cover Dean Cain’s role in “Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman”. (Not a movie, but too much of a classic to pass on.)
Jamie Swanner as “Rocco” from the Boondock Saints
Aaron Miles as Frodo Baggins in the Lord of the Rings. He could easily blend in with the other hobbits.
Tony Banks as Willie Lopez from Ghost.
Jeff Weaver as The Dude from The Big Lebowski. After Albert Pujols seemed to think Jered Weaver was Jeff at his Angels introduction this winter, Jeff Weaver’s status as a stoner easily confused with a much richer, more successful person with a similar name was cemented.