The Weekly Hypothetical: Pick a former Cardinal player to captain your Wiffle Ball team


It’s felt like an eternity since we launched our Kickstarter campaign to spear head our weekly podcast. After weeks of preparation and planning, The JoeSportsFan Show finally becomes a reality this Friday.

We have plenty of reindeer games planned for Episode One, including listener/reader interaction that will allow you to win some fun prizes along the way.

We’re calling this weekly segment, “The Weekly Hypothetical“.

The Weekly Hypothetical will challenge your St. Louis sports intellect, while also questioning your maturity. We’ll ask this question of ourselves, our guests and you, the readers and listeners of JoeSportsFan. And we’ll provide some weekly swag for the best answer.

Episode One’s question:

“It’s that time of year: time when you inevitably find yourself captaining a team in the backyard version of the American pastime – Wiffle Ball. As someone who possesses extraordinary networking capabilities, you have the ability to add one former Cardinals player to your roster.

Who are you choosing and why?”

You can participate in Episode One’s Weekly Hypothetical one of three ways.

1.) Leave a comment below.

2.) Email us:

3.) Send us a message on Twitter at @JoeSportsFan.

Heck, if you’re feeling extra saucy, hashtag your response with #JSFHypothetical.



  • Dennis says:

    Willie McGee. Wiffle ball requires a certain set of skills, and hitting the long ball often takes a really solid uppercut swing. Nobody could swing a baseball bat like a pitching wedge the way Willie could.

  • Jason B says:

    Jack Clark. The guy can still rake and there’s no chance of him complaining about a sunburn.

  • Brian says:

    I would have to go with Jim Edmonds. With all of the weird ways that a wiffleball floats after being hit, it’s best to have someone who can ham it up and turn a routine flyout into a diving grab.

  • Brian Kollack says:

    Pitching wins championships. I would take Dennis Eckersley because his sidearm delivery could make a wiffle ball do some pretty mean things. And his mustache is easy on the eyes, let’s be honest.

  • Cardinal70 says:

    Scott Rolen, who is too good to be scrappy/gritty but brings some of that same intensity that you have to have in a good Wiffle ball game. At least until he pulls something swinging the yellow bat.

  • Kevin says:

    Tom Lawless – So I can toss my bat into the air, like an asshole, every time I go yard!

  • Tito Landrum's Jheri Curl says:

    Esteban Yan. Can you imagine the juices he could slop on that ball playing out in the summer sun and heat?

  • Fendi Hotdogbun says:

    No brainer: Jose Oquendo. The Secret Weapon has already proven that he needs no glove to catch everything in sight. He can play all over the field, including pitcher. And finally, he won’t get too upset when you pass him over for captain year after year.

  • Matt Swisher says:

    Wainwright. It all starts with the pitching. If he has that wicked of a curve on a regular baseball, imagine what he can do with a wiffle ball.

  • Angie M says:

    David Eckstein. Not only is he scrappy….but I am pretty sure he lead the league in hustle.

  • Phil says:

    Bob Gibson. Fierce competitor, and I always find it amusing when people get hyper-competitive during “recreational” sports. I could totally see Gibby doing that. Plus, he threw so hard he could probably make even a Wiffle ball hurt.

  • Z says:

    Ralph Citarella, hands down. He’s got a wicked wiffle curve, and who better to have as a wingman for uncomfortable and inappropriate post-game carousing with the WAGs?

  • Craig says:

    I would say Spiezio. Wiffleball is a sport meant to be enjoyed with alcohol and other extra curriculars. He’s obviously good at pitching and hitting. Plus, with fielders at best who are still worse than the terrible Shawn Green, you would be able to count on the Speezer to find those quirky corners in the outfield.

  • Thomas E says:

    I gotta go with Albert, seeing how he’s a former Cardinal now. We all know the guy can hit anything thrown to him to all parts of the field. Plus having him on my team will ensure that my game has a sell out, how many Wiffle Ball games have that going for them? I even might be able to catch a glimpse of the infamous tighty whiteys in the post game shower too

  • JJ Erving says:

    No question….the wonder dog Rex Hudler. Without a doubt he is laying out all over your yard, getting dirty diving for balls, running through fences, bouncing off the garage on a HR 20 feet over the garage. Making what would be an easy catch by a fellow fielder a super spectacular catch for himself (only to make the sportscenter highlights according to Griffey). H*ll..he might even run over the catcher as he’s trying to score from 2nd on a comebacker to the mound.

    Plus wasn’t he arrested at an airport with some “herb from the curb” a few years back? After the game everyone could toke up and listen to Rex talk about his high school football days and how he turned down a scholarship to Notre Dame to play ball in the show.

  • Bob Seebeck says:

    Dennys Reyes. Left hand specialist. And there’s no
    way I’m gonna get hungry before,after, and during the game
    with the spread that man will bring to the table.

  • CardsChic says:

    Ron Gant has the muscles of a whiffle ball power hitter. I’m pretty sure he could still muscle it out of the neighborhood.

  • mark dierker says:

    Easy. Bob Tewksbury and the Eephus Pitch. Nobody could hit that slow junk! Dirk.

  • RamPage says:

    Dennys Reyes, duh. If we happen to lose he will eat the other team.

  • Justin says:

    Hands down it all about the pitching, gotta have an ace gotta go Dan Quisenberry….he could work magic with a wiffle ball sidearm

  • Phil Maxted says:

    Tommy Herr. The man plates runs. 1985 – 110 RBI with only 8 HR. Wiffle Ball is about puttin’ the bat on the ball and scoring runs. (Plus he’s a switch hitter.) Throw in his superior glove skills & I win, you lose. Afterwards we all go to Imo’s.

  • Todalion says:

    Wellemeyer’s “skills” would likely translate best to Wiffle, plus he’s weird and/or a bulldog.

  • Jared says:

    Chris Sabo…..’nuff said.

  • Matt W says:

    Rick Ankiel…he was built for wiffle ball.

  • Doug J says:

    Chris Duncan, he’s in good drinking shape

  • Austin says:

    Rick Ankiel. With his uncanny wild approach to pitching, he’d be perfect for wiffle ball. You try and throw low and outside, you end up throwing a pitch as high and tight as the crotch room in Fredbird’s suit. Plus, if, like real life, his pitching turns out to be atrocious, you can put him the outfield. Assuming we’re playing without gloves as the game of wiffle ball should be played, Ankiel could catch better against his stomach than say, a Matt Holiday.

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