Weekly Hypothetical: Pick Fredbird’s New Cardinals Kids Co-Host. Go.
2012
It’s inevitable that every few weeks one of the JSF Weekly Hypothetical answers will spin off into an response that includes the legend that is Fredbird. He’s wacky, he’s scantily clad and he’s known to wield a weapon from time-to-time.
After we documented him embarrassing co-host Andy Benes on camera recently we came to realize that, while he’s undoubtedly an entertainment mogul, there is a side to Fredbird that we may not encounter on a regular basis. Behind the scenes on his television hit – Cardinals Kids – we’re sure there is more drama than meets the eye. The under appreciated Benes does an admirable job of playing sidekick, carrying the show at times while his co-host gets the accolades and even his own stable of groupies.
For the time being, the chemistry is there between the two hosts, but if that ever changed, rain delays for Cardinals viewers may never be the same. For reasons we may not understand, this scenario has led us to this week’s Hypothetical:
Let’s go:
Fed up with the diva attitude of his co-host Fredbird, Andy Benes suddenly walks off the set of Cardinals Kids for good. As producer of the show, you are tasked with the challenge of finding a former player to fill Benes’ shoes. Considering the role requires seamless interaction with a mute ego-maniac that refuses to wear pants on camera, who do you see as the most entertaining replacement option to keep the show afloat?
We’ll read the top three answers on Episode 24 of The JoeSportsFan Show this Friday.
You can throw your hat into the ring one of three ways:
1.) Leave a comment below.
2.) Email us: theshow@joesportsfan.com.
3.) Send us a message on Twitter at @JoeSportsFan.
If you’ve got a thing for Twitter hashtags, slap #JSFHypothetical on your response.
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David Eckstein. He’s closer in size to those kids.
The Cardinals Belly painter. Between the two of them, one of them has a full outfit and the other is completely naked. Hey Kids!
Tony La Russa in an ARF shirt. He can interact with mute animals with the best of them.
Plus, La Russa already has a great on screen presence courtesy of the Ray Vinson commercials.
Dennys Reyes. Just to see how many episodes it’d take before Reyes tried to eat Fredbird.
I’m changing the channel unless it’s a confused Jason Larue. Brain-damaged ex-athletes get viewers. Just ask any of the major network NFL pre-game broadcasts.
Need somebody to go toe to (huge foam) toe with Fredbird? Former Redbirds hitting coach Hal McRae:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kamDqL-AGzI
We wouldn’t take any sh**t from Fredbird, wouldn’t take any sh**t from the ****** players.
Juan Encarnacion.
How about St. Louis native, John Goodman? Note: this would require him to wear a “Sully” costume (from Monsters Inc.) as to not scare the kids.
Kent Merker should initially replace him as he did in the rotation in 1998, then Joe McEwing as that would be awesome, then the triumphant return of Andy Benes of 2 years as he did in 2000.
Scott Spiezio. How much fun would it be to watch that trainwreck? “Hey kids don’t do drugs.”
Alan Benes.
Craig Paquette and his creepy mustache.