The Many Face of Post-Dispatch Columnist Bryan Burwell

24
May
2011

Bryan Burwell frequently appears as a guest on KSDK’s “Sports Plus” because, let’s face it, if there’s one media member that screams must-see-television, it’s Bryan Burwell.

He booked another solid performance on Sunday night, showing off his wide array of abilities.  He’s like the Jose Oquendo of the local media; the guy can do it all.

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Bryan began the show by rattling off the “Star Spangled Banner”.  KSDK producers thought it was odd, but when in doubt, you never challenge patriotism on live television.  That’s a hardened rule that is typically covered in between “fake tans” and “how to create a pun from any athlete name” in broadcasting school.

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It was a worthy performance of our country’s national anthem.  But Frank Cusumano would not be shown up, especially in a $4500 suit.  He countered by flinging a pepperoni slice into Burwell’s open mouth.

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Most guests consider it irrelevant and weird, but KSDK producers insist that the entire talent staff joins Rene Knott for pronunciation tutorials during commercial breaks.

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Bryan tried to show restraint, but he was overly surprised and humiliated when Rene Knott mentioned that goatees are far superior to wispy mustaches.

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It startled Frank Cusumano tremendously, but several demographical barriers were beaten down on Sunday night when Burwell rattled off an, “WOO YEAAAAAAAAAA!!” in a touching tribute to “Macho Man” Randy Savage.

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In this business, it’s all about being better than the three other guys on camera.  Byran Burwell’s formula is simple: tons of controversy…and randomly pretending that a serial killer is standing behind the opposite end of the news desk.  It always gets another co-host off their game for a few minutes.

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Overall, Bryan was pleased with his performance.

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